I've never PLANNED a wedding and I'm getting married! Where do I begin?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 4:49 PM GMT
    Danny and I have been living together for three years. This fall, I asked him to marry me and he accepted. icon_smile.gif


    I put a whole lot of thought in pre planning and preparing to ask him to marry me. It was a wonderful night from start to finish , marked with a lot of sweet sookiness (-- minds oudda da gudder - that's a bluenose expression. "look in my profile at my cat hugging me - we would say he is "being a real sook" (rhymes with "book") there.


    OK - so Danny has never even THOUGHT of a marriage before - and my first marriage was a bit traditional (but modest) in that our parents put it together for us.

    I don't even know where to begin now?

    We want to married next June. And we don't have much money to spend.

    OK - let's be blunt - we both live on Disability pensions and we have no savings.

    The important thing to us is not making some " great event."

    But Danny has never had a wedding (never dreamed he might ever be married at all.
    I can skimp on everything really except one thing - I have to fly my kids from Ottawa here and back, and put them up somewhere.

    Do I pay for transpotation and accommodation for everyone we invite from out of town?

    I have only my two kids and my Mum; I would like to invite my brother and I kinda want him to be my Best Man so I should foot the cost for him to come from Toronto.?

    Danny has family that will drive from cape Breton, NS (ther will be about a dozen, including the kids - should we invite nephews? I have met them - they are good kids.

    Or do I need to look at just Dan and I going to a registry office in the morning, get hitched, come home.


    (Or do I go to City Hall or the Provincial courthouse?)


    I am totally at sea here.



    I was thinking I'll ask Danny "if you could have any kind of wedding you ever wanted, what would it be?" then see what he imagines.

    This is to be HIS day.


    I wonder who I even call icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    Since your family is well aware that you aren't the Canadian equivalent of the Rockefellers, I think they should be willing to foot their expenses, except for your kids since they are kids and in school.

    If anyone can't come, be understanding and send them pictures and tell them they were in your thoughts the whole day.

    Likewise, if they have to pay their expenses, dont expect wedding presents. Just showing up will be their present.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 6:31 PM GMT
    This is just so sweet!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 6:49 PM GMT
    Here's a link to a marriage commissioner in PEI who performs same sex marriages. Give him a call and he can go over costs for you.

    http://www.cbc.ca/canada/prince-edward-island/story/2006/07/10/first-marriage.html



    As well, here's a gal that does them too.

    Brenda Bulger - Across the Island Weddings

    Marriage Commissioner Will perform weddings anywhere on PEI Basic Civil or Personalized Ceremonies Traditional or Same Sex Weddings Commitment Ceremonies and Vow Renewals Phone (902)368-2030 E-mail: bpbulger@hotmail.com

    contact: bpbulger@hotmail.com

    website: www.acrosstheislandweddings.ca
  • rndale

    Posts: 90

    Oct 30, 2010 6:55 PM GMT
    UpperCanadian saidThe important thing to us is not making some " great event."

    I can skimp on everything really except one thing - I have to fly my kids from Ottawa here and back, and put them up somewhere.

    Do I pay for transportation and accommodation for everyone we invite from out of town?

    I have only my two kids and my Mum; I would like to invite my brother and I kinda want him to be my Best Man so I should foot the cost for him to come from Toronto.?

    Danny has family that will drive from cape Breton, NS (ther will be about a dozen, including the kids - should we invite nephews? I have met them - they are good kids.


    1. Out door weddings are the best (economically) they require the least expense for a venue.

    2. Flowers cost a fortune, unless you go to your local flower mart, then you can by direct, have to assemble them yourselves but the savings are huge.

    3. You only have to pay for your kids and possibly your parents, in old American society it is an honor to be invited to a wedding, it means that you are concerned one of the family, not just a way to get more presents.

    4. Buffet is the cheapest way to feed people, the real cost is renting tables chairs and Buffet equipment.

    5. Bars, open cost a fortune one wedding I went to they spent 500K on the bar bill. So I suggest having a bar that charges, ask someone to make drinks and sell them for 1-3 dollars each, my cousin paid for her wedding that way.

    6. Our local church provided the dance floor for our charity parties, as well as for weddings within the congregation.

    7. The biggest expense is the Cake, although a new trend is to use cupcakes.

    8. Music cost varies based on your location, in LA area I can get a harpist for a song, and they can play threw out the ceremony then you can play from an I-pod for the rest of the event.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 6:56 PM GMT
    The cost for the marriage license is $100. The commissioner is usually about the same (we gave a $35 tip).

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 7:20 PM GMT
    you guys are awesome!

    Thanks!

    I think we are going to ask that no one give gifts at all but to make a contribution instead to AIDSPEI (because we are both healthy & living with HIV) and to the Stroke Rehabilitaion Unit of the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in PEI (so that new survivors might have the chance at recovery that I did when I lived in Ottawa).

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    Congrats!

    Do a Caribbean themed wedding. They're a lot more laid back and relaxed.

    I was hired to shoot one, and everyone there was wearing flip flops...even the bride and groom, and me.
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    Oct 30, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidCongrats!

    Do a Caribbean themed wedding. They're a lot more laid back and relaxed.

    I was hired to shoot one, and everyone there was wearing flip flops...even the bride and groom, and me.

    Caribbean thened? ... icon_eek.gif ... This is Canada. ... I think it is traditional for each wedding guest to bring a block of ice and help the new couple make their new igloo. ... icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 30, 2010 7:39 PM GMT
    Caslon16000 said
    paulflexes saidCongrats!

    Do a Caribbean themed wedding. They're a lot more laid back and relaxed.

    I was hired to shoot one, and everyone there was wearing flip flops...even the bride and groom, and me.

    Caribbean thened? ... icon_eek.gif ... This is Canada. ... I think it is traditional for each wedding guest to bring a block of ice and help the new couple make their new igloo. ... icon_wink.gif
    That sounds more fun than a Florida themed wedding, where the only thing left after the ceremony are alligators gnawing on what's left of the crowd. icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 8:09 PM GMT
    Caslon16000 said
    paulflexes saidCongrats!

    Do a Caribbean themed wedding. They're a lot more laid back and relaxed.

    I was hired to shoot one, and everyone there was wearing flip flops...even the bride and groom, and me.

    Caribbean thened? ... icon_eek.gif ... This is Canada. ... I think it is traditional for each wedding guest to bring a block of ice and help the new couple make their new igloo. ... icon_wink.gif



    ...yep, and there's the ceremonial tossing of the penguin poo across the crowd while you make then all say 'EH?" with wide open mouths. No wedding would be complete without that.

    *giggle* -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 8:10 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Caslon16000 said
    paulflexes saidCongrats!

    Do a Caribbean themed wedding. They're a lot more laid back and relaxed.

    I was hired to shoot one, and everyone there was wearing flip flops...even the bride and groom, and me.

    Caribbean thened? ... icon_eek.gif ... This is Canada. ... I think it is traditional for each wedding guest to bring a block of ice and help the new couple make their new igloo. ... icon_wink.gif
    That sounds more fun than a Florida themed wedding, where the only thing left after the ceremony are alligators gnawing on what's left of the crowd. icon_razz.gif


    Now i want a combined theme - with polargators

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2010 8:28 PM GMT
    Here's some info for you and your guy.


    http://www.gov.pe.ca/health/index.php3?number=1020364〈=E
    [url]
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    We met with a marriage commissioner today, who also runs the Rainbow Lodge, and set our marriage date for August 20, 2011.

    This should work out best for my kids' schooling. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    UpperCanadian saidDanny and I have been living together for three years. This fall, I asked him to marry me and he accepted. icon_smile.gif



    congrats! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:29 PM GMT
    Just remember to say "I do"
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:36 PM GMT
    My first wedding was planned and inexpensive. Small group, reception at a location that was free, caterer selected provided inexpensive buffet style food (cold cuts, sliced cheese, and one hot pasta dish), beer and wine we bought and DJ was a friend. Had a great time, and it didn't put us in the poor house. You can do it.

    As for expenses with travel and lodging. I agree, you do have the kids to pay for but I would think most everyone else would be able to pay their own way. You might include a line that indicates that if expenses place a burden on them, please let you know and you'll see what arrangements you can make to assist. I'd only do that on those you actually might consider paying for.

    Congrats.....sounds like a fun party in the northland icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    congratulations!!
  • NYCguy74

    Posts: 311

    Nov 05, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    I have good friends, who because i met them a few years after they were married, i was only able to see the wedding on video, but they got married on the beach in Florida at sunset. everyone was barefoot, with pants rolled up. before the ceremony, he took his heel and drew 2 lines in the sand, and they had an aisle to walk down. then had a reception at a house they rented close to the beach.

    another couple, got married at the justice of the peace, but then had the reception a few months later at one of their parents house, basically just a big backyard BBQ.

    and also just had some friends of friends get married at a summer camp, it was right at the end of the season, and everyone went and stayed at the camp for a couple days. they were going to get married by the lake, but rain forced them inside.

    sometimes small and simple can be better.


    as far as flying people in, you shouldn't feel responsible to fly any of your guests in or make accommodations for them. although if their financial situation doesn't allow them to make it and you want them to be there, you can always try and work something out with the 2 of you, like finding friends for them to stay with or whatever.
    although you should take care of your children, since they are your dependents.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Nov 05, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
    I have no useful advice on planning a wedding, but I just wanted to say congratulations! icon_biggrin.gif