Did Your Conservative Family's Beliefs Change When You Told Them You're Gay?

  • chance86

    Posts: 34

    Oct 31, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    I know some people are lucky enough to have been raised in an open-minded, accepting family. But for a lot of us, the biggest worry in coming out was how our families would react.

    I come from a pretty conservative family in the midwest, and though nothing cruel was ever said about gay people (that I know of), I still felt as though it would not be accepted if I told my family I was gay. When I did come out two years ago, I was at first hit with the "it's a sin, you're going to go to hell if you don't change---- but we still love you" mantra. I was stunned that my macho father didn't throw me out of the house when I told him; still, he wasn't happy with the idea. My two younger brothers, one of whom was 19 and the other was 12, accepted it right away and told me that I was still the big brother they always looked up to and loved.

    The people who DID chastise me in the beginning (i.e., one set of grandparents, my dad, and two of my aunts) have now completely changed their views. In fact, my grandparents ---who were the most adament about me going to therapy to "cure" my "sickness"--- now try to set me up on dates with other guys they know!

    I sometimes wonder if my family would still have the same views on homosexuality had I not come out. Have any of you had similar experiences with your family?
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    Nov 01, 2010 10:45 AM GMT
    Well, I'm not getting the "you're going to hell" spiel from mine, even though they are religious conservatives, however, my dad and brother-in-law are still trying to set me up with different programs to change (or dates with girls), while on the other hand my pastor's-wife sister has at least changed her mind on the "changeability" of one's orientation. All in all, in my family, we live by the one piece of scripture that says that "ALL have fallen short of the glory of God." We are saved by grace alone. Trying to change to be acceptable to God would be work (which does not fly for protestant Christians in general.) It is this humility in their approach that I respect and appreciate the most.

    I know my dad's views on it were quite dim not too long ago. I found out after having a chat with his very liberal sister. They got into a huge argument over it (due to a prominent politician here being openly gay.) At this point, he simply calls it my "condition", a huge step up from where he was not too long ago. I guess when it hits close to home, people's opinions shift.