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Tops Dating Tops, Bottoms dating Bottoms

  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 9:07 AM GMT
    Just curious about this... have any of you guys who are exclusively top or bottom tried dating someone who was exclusively the same thing and what problems have you encountered? Like what happens when two tops date, or two bottoms? Has anyone done this and worked around it? And how have you been able to work it out...

    And for you versatiles out there... do you guys feel like you "miss out" on something if you date someone who is exclusive? Are you able to overcome this at all?
  • Latenight30 Posts: 1505
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 11:18 AM GMT
    I'm versatile to bottom or bottom to versatile, so I don't see why 2 "exclusively" top or bottom would date. You know there is going to be a something the other isn't providing.
    It's why I find out very early one where i stand or lay for that matter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 11:50 AM GMT
    Latenight30 said
    It's why I find out very early one where i stand or lay for that matter.


    lol well said
  • scottmet99 Posts: 77
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 12:13 PM GMT
    it never works out. There will always be something missing. It's just the way it is. Find out who you are first. Some guys "try" to be versatile, but are not true to themselves. I am definitely a total bottom so only gravitate towards total tops. Sure, I may miss out on some handsome men, but if you are seeking LTR like I am, it will be worth it in the end.
  • Trainer29 Posts: 2
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 12:26 PM GMT
    Interesting conversation.

    I would have a huge problem with dating a top. I could never flip - have tried to and it revolts me. I've even tried to "make" myself want it and after five mins or so, I find myself wanking off to a fit ass.

    As for a relationship/dating a top dude- It would never work!!! Same as the last reply - I would find out from the outset if he chews pillows or chews neck.
  • tuffguyndc Posts: 4421
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 12:31 PM GMT
    i happen to think it could work if both parties were willing to give themselves completely. no it will not work if both parties are selfish and thinks its all about them. i know plenty of tops who have been in relationship and a few of them are still together. now two bottoms, i am not sure about but two tops i do think it can work because i have seen it work before. again, if both or selfish or one is selfish no it will not work but if both they are both good people who are willing to give themselves in the relationship then it can work
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 12:40 PM GMT
    The lie is that the only choices are between toping and bottoming.
  • Trainer29 Posts: 2
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 2:42 PM GMT
    So are you suggesting that two tops do not fuck ,or find it elsewhere, or take it from one another even if they didnt want it? I didnt really understand your message.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 3:03 PM GMT
    I'm completely versatile. I've tried dating a total top, and it felt like I was stopping myself from having sex in exchange for dating this guy. I know I wasn't completely stopping myself, as I was bottoming for him, but still, in my mind it felt like I was. I tried dating a guy who said he could be versatile. For the first couple of months, he refused to bottom for me. So I cut him off and told him the next time I top him, he can top me. I got him to start bottoming for me, but it was always painful for him, so that didn't work out either.

    Now I find out first the the guy is a top, bottom, or vers. I won't date a total top or total bottom. If they're gonna take some cock, they've gotta be willing to give some back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 3:09 PM GMT
    amar_m saidJust curious about this... have any of you guys who are exclusively top or bottom tried dating someone who was exclusively the same thing and what problems have you encountered? Like what happens when two tops date, or two bottoms? Has anyone done this and worked around it? And how have you been able to work it out...

    And for you versatiles out there... do you guys feel like you "miss out" on something if you date someone who is exclusive? Are you able to overcome this at all?



    I think if two people really care about eachother, this shouldn't be that big of a deal. There are a lot of things you can do besides actual intercourse. You can still have a loving and sexual relationship with anyone you choose.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    i've dated other tops before, neither could compromise to play the other role (or at least i wasn't willing enough to bottom for him), even tried to train my ass (since i cant handle hungs).

    however, it was a great chemistry on other areas except anal sex...
    i wouldn't mind dating other tops at all
  • Muscmasmat Posts: 96
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 3:58 PM GMT
    I dated another top for about 3 years, and our sex was fantastic. He would not bottom for me (we did try, but he just could not take it); and one of my rules is that if the other guy is not versatile, neither am I. So we did not have anal sex. However, we surely enjoyed incredible oral, simulated anal (pumping the other guy but just not putting your dick in), digital rectal stimulation, jacking each other, etc. There are so many other sexual things you can do with a man besides anal sex. So it is definitely possible for two tops to have a great sexual experience and relationship.
  • scottmet99 Posts: 77
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    It seems like some of the guys are posting the opinion that if one classifies himself as "total top or total bottom" he is missing out on something and should "try" to become vers. As a true, 100% "total bottom", I am completely content in my sexuality. I cannot top and do not wish to. Sometimes guys just "know" what they like and who they are and that is a wonderful feeling. I have nothing against 'vers" guys, more power to 'em, but sometimes they can be wishy-washy and are really more comfortable with one role (usually bottom), but just can't accept it. My utmost respect goes out to "total tops or total bottoms" out there. I feel they are the truest men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 5:00 PM GMT
    amar_m saidJust curious about this... have any of you guys who are exclusively top or bottom tried dating someone who was exclusively the same thing and what problems have you encountered? Like what happens when two tops date, or two bottoms? Has anyone done this and worked around it? And how have you been able to work it out...

    And for you versatiles out there... do you guys feel like you "miss out" on something if you date someone who is exclusive? Are you able to overcome this at all?


    When it comes down to it no one is exclusively one thing if you know how to do it
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    Muscmasmat saidI dated another top for about 3 years, and our sex was fantastic. He would not bottom for me (we did try, but he just could not take it); and one of my rules is that if the other guy is not versatile, neither am I. So we did not have anal sex. However, we surely enjoyed incredible oral, simulated anal (pumping the other guy but just not putting your dick in), digital rectal stimulation, jacking each other, etc. There are so many other sexual things you can do with a man besides anal sex. So it is definitely possible for two tops to have a great sexual experience and relationship.


    I totally agree! Especially if you love someone completely there are many ways to work around it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 5:07 PM GMT
    i dont think you can consider it missing out if it actually doesn't give you satisfying pleasure...
  • scottmet99 Posts: 77
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 5:26 PM GMT

    I totally agree! Especially if you love someone completely there are many ways to work around it.[/quote]

    isn't this like saying to a straight woman, "you can date your best female friend. There is more to a relationship than sex".

    Shouldn't the sexual side to a relationship matter? How on earth can 2 tops or 2 bottoms match up well?
  • Greekboxer Posts: 2592
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    Muscmasmat saidI dated another top for about 3 years, and our sex was fantastic. He would not bottom for me (we did try, but he just could not take it); and one of my rules is that if the other guy is not versatile, neither am I. So we did not have anal sex. However, we surely enjoyed incredible oral, simulated anal (pumping the other guy but just not putting your dick in), digital rectal stimulation, jacking each other, etc. There are so many other sexual things you can do with a man besides anal sex. So it is definitely possible for two tops to have a great sexual experience and relationship.



    correct answer and so true
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 7:35 PM GMT
    scottmet99 said
    I totally agree! Especially if you love someone completely there are many ways to work around it.


    isn't this like saying to a straight woman, "you can date your best female friend. There is more to a relationship than sex".

    Shouldn't the sexual side to a relationship matter? How on earth can 2 tops or 2 bottoms match up well?[/quote]

    there are those who identifies asexuals, and do pretty well in relationships...

    must also factor that, over time sex impulse decline in ALL relationships, so what's left? just plain old companionship
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 8:20 PM GMT
    mmm it has never happened to me. I've always dated tops... bottoms automatically become just friends
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
    i know some couples where both are tops or both are bottoms, they hook up for three ways or go solo, bottoms sharing a top, or tops sharing a bottom.

    whats so complicated about that?
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 01, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    Blackbeltguy said
    Muscmasmat saidI dated another top for about 3 years, and our sex was fantastic. He would not bottom for me (we did try, but he just could not take it); and one of my rules is that if the other guy is not versatile, neither am I. So we did not have anal sex. However, we surely enjoyed incredible oral, simulated anal (pumping the other guy but just not putting your dick in), digital rectal stimulation, jacking each other, etc. There are so many other sexual things you can do with a man besides anal sex. So it is definitely possible for two tops to have a great sexual experience and relationship.



    correct answer and so true


    i agree. i would also flip if i were in love with someone. doesn't matter, a role doesn't make you stop caring about someone any less. If it does, then i'd say you're pretty thin on the emotional side.
  • commoncoll Posts: 1222
    QUOTE Nov 03, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    i would also flip if i were in love with someone. doesn't matter, a role doesn't make you stop caring about someone any less. If it does, then i'd say you're pretty thin on the emotional side.

    I agree. Depending on the amount of investment in a relationship, sexual role tensions tend to be minimised.
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 03, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    scottmet99 saidIt seems like some of the guys are posting the opinion that if one classifies himself as "total top or total bottom" he is missing out on something and should "try" to become vers. As a true, 100% "total bottom", I am completely content in my sexuality. I cannot top and do not wish to. Sometimes guys just "know" what they like and who they are and that is a wonderful feeling. I have nothing against 'vers" guys, more power to 'em, but sometimes they can be wishy-washy and are really more comfortable with one role (usually bottom), but just can't accept it. My utmost respect goes out to "total tops or total bottoms" out there. I feel they are the truest men.


    I totally disagree... I REALLY get off on flipping around...

    Saying totals are the truest men is the same as saying 100% straights or gays are the truest men... The majority of the men I know are bi in any range of the sexuality spectrum... I think the same applies for topping/bottoming
  • Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
    QUOTE Nov 03, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    amar_m said
    scottmet99 saidIt seems like some of the guys are posting the opinion that if one classifies himself as "total top or total bottom" he is missing out on something and should "try" to become vers. As a true, 100% "total bottom", I am completely content in my sexuality. I cannot top and do not wish to. Sometimes guys just "know" what they like and who they are and that is a wonderful feeling. I have nothing against 'vers" guys, more power to 'em, but sometimes they can be wishy-washy and are really more comfortable with one role (usually bottom), but just can't accept it. My utmost respect goes out to "total tops or total bottoms" out there. I feel they are the truest men.


    I totally disagree... I REALLY get off on flipping around...

    Saying totals are the truest men is the same as saying 100% straights or gays are the truest men... The majority of the men I know are bi in any range of the sexuality spectrum... I think the same applies for topping/bottoming


    Same here. I love it when people say "versatile is a fancy word for bottom." No, versatile means I'll bottom for you, then turn you around and fuck the hell out of you. Or one or the other, depending on our mood at the time. I get off on either one, and am great at both. I don't see what's so hard to understand about that.