being GAY 10 years ago; easier OR tougher?

  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Nov 01, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    well i wonder what are the changes as a gay man 10 years (or 20, 30, or even 40) ago... i keep on hearing "its a same all shit from yesterday" but what are the changes we had in the history of homosexual? is it getting better or what?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    aiko14 saidwell i wonder what are the changes as a gay man 10 years (or 20, 30, or even 40) ago... i keep on hearing "its a same all shit from yesterday" but what are the changes we had in the history of homosexual? is it getting better or what?

    About the same over the 15 years since I've been out. I came down to Florida to be in a gay community where I could feel safe (but that southbeach1500 mocks for it being gay-friendly, something he clearly detests).

    Gays are about to see a rise in hate crimes in the US, inspired by national Republican & Teabagger political gains, with nothing we can do to protect ourselves, the will of the Democrats to defend us having been broken. And more anti-gay legislation, our goals of repealing DOMA & DADT now dashed (another thing southbeach can cheer).

    My partner does say he's seen some progress, being older than me and out from his teens. He tells me stories about police raids on gay clubs in Boston that were awful in the 1950s, not unlike what triggered the Stonewall riots in NYC. And his having to go with a lesbian "escort" to the gay clubs, so he could pretend to be with a woman when the police burst in.

    I fear the US Right-Wing wants to drag us back to that time, and make the mere fact of being gay a crime, and they have political platforms that call for it, on which candidates will be elected tomorrow (Tue). There are dark days ahead.

    So to answer you: it had gotten better, but it's about to get worse. I don't know if you'll see much of it where you live, but some of us will. And national gains we thought were close at hand are now lost. It will take decades to recover from tomorrow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 8:00 PM GMT
    That's difficult for me to answer, because 10 years ago I was living in an area that was not gay-friendly then, and still not gay-friendly.

    I moved away ~7 years ago.
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Nov 01, 2010 8:18 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]Art_Deco said[/cite]
    aiko14 saidwell i wonder what are the changes as a gay man 10 years (or 20, 30, or even 40) ago... i keep on hearing "its a same all shit from yesterday" but what are the changes we had in the history of homosexual? is it getting better or what?

    About the same over the 15 years since I've been out. I came down to Florida to be in a gay community where I could feel safe (but that southbeach1500 mocks for it being gay-friendly, something he clearly detests)...

    Well i really feel that people are more being gay-friendly as long as their love ones are not gay... i dunno its like saying.... its ok to be gay, but stay away from me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 8:59 PM GMT
    I asked family members, and they said it has improved very very much, but then again, we live in the tollerant Netherlands
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:19 PM GMT
    It's better. It gets better everyday. Does that mean there's not room for improvement? No. But to deny that there's been any positive change is to worship at the alter of pessimism. I for one won't subscribe to that. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:23 PM GMT
    DEFINITELY better........... we are now Talking, discussing, legislating, fighting ,demanding, supporting OPENLY on the 5 6 and 11 o'clock news..The closet door has finally been taken off the hinges and the screws removed.. it isn't going back on!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:24 PM GMT
    I think it was easier 10 years ago. I came out at 22 and the hardest part of coming out, was not the fact that I liked guys. It was the fact I didn't want to be classified in the same group as gays who participated in pride type events and demanded special rights. I did not want to be classified as a "pervert". All I ever wanted were equal rights and I felt that I already had them anyway. Now the gay community just keeps demanding more things. The only thing I really agree with today is gay marriage which is an equal right.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:27 PM GMT
    CHRIS6464 saidI think it was easier 10 years ago. I came out at 22 and the hardest part of coming out, was not the fact that I liked guys. It was the fact I didn't want to be classified in the same group as gays who participated in pride type events and demanded special rights. I did not want to be classified as a "pervert". All I ever wanted were equal rights and I felt that I already had them anyway. Now the gay community just keeps demanding more things. The only thing I really agree with today is gay marriage which is an equal right.
    Having issues with self loathing still? its obvious..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:31 PM GMT
    CHRIS6464 saidAll I ever wanted were equal rights and I felt that I already had them anyway. Now the gay community just keeps demanding more things.
    Ever tried to marry?
    Ever tried to give blood?
    Did you know that you can be fired for being gay in over half the US?
    Did you know that you landlord can evict you (or refuse to lease/rent) for being gay?
    Did you know you can be turned down for a home loan for being gay?

    We do NOT have equal rights. You've just been lucky enough to not need those right...YET.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Nov 01, 2010 9:36 PM GMT
    I tend to think it is easier in some ways, harder in others due to the element of social networking on the internet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:42 PM GMT
    Personally, I think we are living in a post-gay world. The reason why there is such a huge backlash against "us" is because we are about to break down the last of the barriers. We may get bigots, but we are no longer in the same place as ten years ago.

    But I live in Orlando with a good sized gay population, and a long standing gay culture. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:56 PM GMT
    10 yrs ago, Nobody didn't care what you did in your bedroom. Thanks D. L. King exposed us(DL) to the world
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 9:57 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    CHRIS6464 saidAll I ever wanted were equal rights and I felt that I already had them anyway. Now the gay community just keeps demanding more things.
    Ever tried to marry?
    Ever tried to give blood?
    Did you know that you can be fired for being gay in over half the US?
    Did you know that you landlord can evict you (or refuse to lease/rent) for being gay?
    Did you know you can be turned down for a home loan for being gay?

    We do NOT have equal rights. You've just been lucky enough to not need those right...YET.


    But we are past the point of the general assumption the GAY = EVIL. We have more public exposure, more social acceptance and increasing awareness of our inequality, and also great strides in the right direction.
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Nov 01, 2010 10:08 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Did you know that you can be fired for being gay in over half the US?


    hello military icon_razz.gif
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Nov 01, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    I think its probably the same as it was about 10 years ago..with subtle differences. It would just be too easy to say its improved because for the last 12 years I have been living in San Diego, Cali as opposed to South Texas where I grew up and its largely homophobic.

    'Back then' you could just not bring the subject up, and everyone was fine with that, and generally the subject was just avoided and not talked about. With that being said, I can't help but wonder occasionally if all the media attention that LGBT have been getting is actually making it MORE difficult for closet cases out there in small communities because now its a talked about subject that other people are paying attention to and becoming more aware of.

    It will be interesting to see how it all works out in another 5-10 years time...though I hope I do not have to wait that long to marry my partner... we've already been waiting for 7. All in all though I would have to say there have been vast improvements in some areas...but shameful and even stupid neglect in others. Making violence against LGBT folks a hate crime was a good start, but then turning around and having your president try to amend the constitution to take your rights away is like taking 2 giant leaps backward.

    I think if anything we are stuck somewhere in the middle right now and about to see it all hit the fan.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 10:41 PM GMT
    It is 10 years since they lifted 'the ban' in the UK armed forces, so. speaking personally, I find now is much better.
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Nov 01, 2010 10:44 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]SanDiegoNewbie said[/cite][/quote]

    congratulation to you and your partner...

    i have to agree that the media can somehow exaggerate things and make the closeted gay people to cement themselves inside... it is tough being a gay and i wish within 5 years (if not today) there would be equality for us....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 10:48 PM GMT
    CuriousJockAZ saidI tend to think it is easier in some ways, harder in others due to the element of social networking on the internet.


    I agree. LGBT folks have been at the forefront on the internet/social networking/etc. What used to be easy for the big city enclaves is now easy throughout the country/world. The internet has been a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that...were I a teen NOW, stuck back on the farm but with an internet connection, I could be online and interacting at least with other gays. I could join some website, strike up a friend ship of sorts, etc.

    However, I'd also have my first exposure to sexual things likely be internet porn and all the pitfalls that presents in how it represents sexuality. I'm old enough to remember the world pre-internet...and it stuns me the acceptance of something like barebacking among young people. But I realize just as I was socialized to fear unsafe sex in the AIDS-crisis 80s...now we socialize that raw sex is hot, sexy and almost glamorous.

    Meanwhile, we've made great strides on gay legal issues...although we still knock at the big walls - marriage, DADT - while frightfully neglecting some of the smaller ones - work place and housing protection, HIV prevention, etc.

    Someone mentioned the "post-gay" world. I'd say we're "post gay liberation" in the US at least...but not a 'post gay' world. The label of gay or homosexual still impacts how people view you, even people who are allies. Truly post gay will be when it becomes a mere characteristic on a laundry list.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    I think it has gotten significantly better, at least from my perspective. On the political side I think there are actually a higher percentage of republicans that are for gay marriage than 10 years ago, except for the far right religious groups. There are certainly many people out there who hate homosexuals but I think more and more are realizing that arguing against gay rights is really just silly. We have much larger things to be concerned about than not allowing gay people to serve in the military or to get married.
  • aiko14

    Posts: 332

    Nov 01, 2010 11:19 PM GMT
    I ask my fellow citizens to give this careful thought. The protection against the tyranny of the majority has been an important consideration throughout the history of our government and we have quietly allowed, out of our own ignorance and apathy, a very important threshold to be crossed. A majority has restricted the basic civil rights of a minority. Beware, it may be your rights next to be trampled merely because there are enough people who think it should be so.

    -Dr. Drew
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 01, 2010 11:31 PM GMT
    Gay rights issues are in the news almost every day. We can't go back in the social closet...ever again. Gay social issues are even hitting Uganda. The push back is a sign of progress...I believe, anyway.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Nov 02, 2010 12:12 AM GMT
    The world is a big place and there are many gays who suffer for being gay, if they live in the wrong part of it. It's definitely easier to be gay now, than in the past, if you're living in north america, or especially Canada. We have legalized gay marriage now in Canada. 20 years ago people would spit on a gay couple holding hands on the streets of Toronto. Today, they invite us to their dinner parties to prove how cosmopolitan they are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    it was a little bit tougher BUT it was so much easier finding a more down to earth dude, has progression spoiled us rotten? icon_confused.gif
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Nov 02, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    I think it was much easier to meet guys 15 years ago, guys weren't able to hide behind computer screens they way they do today.