Inter-racial couples is it easier or harder?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 6:45 AM GMT
    Just wondering if people find it easier to date people from same culture, rather than interacial couples.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 11:46 AM GMT
    YES, but I think you are confusing 'inter-racial" with "inter-cultural." With all prejudice and intolerance aside and on more of a one-on-one level, an inter-cultral relationship can be a little difficult to maintain during the first few years. I've dated (not hooked up with, but seriously dated) a number of men of different ethnic backgrounds and the only issues that came up were from external sources; once you ignore the ignorant then you can start to develop a healthy relationship.

    On the other hand, my current partner of 4 years is black, however, we are of a different cultural upbringing -- he is of Haitan decent -- and his family SERIOUSLY LOATHES anything remotely homosexual. Also, after arriving in America over a decade ago, he adopted the Islam religion; that also seemed to have its seperate issues and conflicts with homosexuality. I am [on paper] black and was raised southern baptist (then 'converted' to penetocostal when my mother started to have issues with the current church).

    Anyway, enough of my life story. What I am trying to say, and some folks may disagree with this is: issues within an inter-racial relationship seems to have developed not from the two individuals dating, but from the environment in which it is contained; people outside of the relationship looking down upon you because of your choice of person to date. If you two are seriously into each other, again, ignore the ignorant.

    Conversely, inter-cultural relationships' issues seem to be internal (conflicting philosophies from the two people dating). My partner and I used to clash A LOT at the beginning of the dating process.

    Thia isn't to say that the two terms can go hand-in-hand, however, I have found it a little easier to date someone with a similar cultural upbringing (regardless of race/ethnic background) in comparison to my current situation (same race but DIFFERENT cultural values).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 12:06 PM GMT
    I would like to say that it shouldn't matter what the background of the person is. A relationship can be easy or difficult and that can rest on both parties and on how they strive to make things work. I think there is no perfect relationship. It's a matter of complementing each others' personality.

    Although GBRelentless has some good points, I do believe that this is all relative. Issues can be cultural and might make it seem a harder task to make the relationship work, or might not.

    I've dated a guy who's Irish/Italian/German descent and we got along well (and other men of other backgrounds). I never thought either of our backgrounds as an issue. Perhaps because of the fact that both of our families are pretty accepting, loving and respectful of what we want to do with our relationships, which made it easier for both of us. Even if i grew up in a very catholic environment, I suppose I am lucky that my family has a broad enough understanding of what I want, and I grew up in another country and moved here about 8 years ago.

    Our issues were common to couples having problems: miscommunication / misunderstanding, selfishness, responsibility, et al. I do lean more towards that race / culture shouldn't be an issue for a relationship to be difficult, but I would like to give a little caveat, i.e. GBRelentless good points.

    Whatever the background, education, financial situation, color; we are in the same rainbow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 12:07 PM GMT
    Intercultural relationships can be a challenge, from personal experience, but they can be really rewarding as well. Sometimes it's hard to separate the differences between a cultural difference and a personal preference/difference.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    I think that ANY deviation from the supposed 'norm' will make some things harder in general because it is different and something people are uncomfortable with.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 1:24 PM GMT
    It's not a problem between my bf and I, because we see never saw ourselves as "inter-racial" or any other sort of label. We just see each other as hot. We know we were raised differently in many ways, but similarly in many others, and that's gonna be the case for any couple, it's simply as matter of if you're into each other enough and love each other enough that the differences don't matter. Our history may be different, but our values are along the same lines.

    However, we do notice that other people love to point out our obvious skin-color differences to us (most of the time respectfully), to the degree that other inter-racial couples want to hang out with us solely for the fact that they see us as inter-racial also, and not because of common interests, likes, etc. And especially so in the South. We've gotten used to it somewhat, but it's never been the sole reason for either of us to seek any sort of interaction with another person/couple.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 7:13 PM GMT
    Interracial and intercultural are not the same thing:

    I easily get along with pople from different races but from the same culture.. as in other people from the Caribbean, irrespective of whether they are of Asian, African, Indigenous, or European descent, or a mixture of all, like myself

    I find it much harder to date people from widely differing cultures... for instance, North African, Arabic culture, East Asian or Indian culture, I find it very difficult to get along with people there

    polynesian (island culturre) is a bit easier....

    I find it easy to date someone from South America or Europe or Africa... (of either Roman or African origin, as my culture is heavily influenced by Roman and African culture)

    In North America (which is more Protestant than Roman) it depends, I get along well with people from the South (more Africanised), but I may have trouble with people from the north, midwest, and Socal at times...
    (My dads culture is northern/midwestern, and my mom's is Caribbean/Latin.. my mom's and dad's family NEVER got along and still do not)

    people from Nocal, Washington and Canada are generally easy to get along with (perhaps the French influence, or the fact that they seem a bit more humble than the others)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 7:21 PM GMT
    Race doesn't matter to me but culture... that could be difficult. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 02, 2010 7:22 PM GMT
    Interracials are so cute... especially is they have children... So cuteicon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    hehe i luv interracial couples too and i've been dating ppl of different races
    and i dont see any problems or difficulties as long as we're receptive to each other's backgrounds and being honest juss like normal couples
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    hoggard saidhehe i luv interracial couples too and i've been dating ppl of different races
    and i dont see any problems or difficulties as long as we're receptive to each other's backgrounds and being honest juss like normal couples


    so true. icon_smile.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 9:57 PM GMT
    This situation actually happened between me and a French guy in Paris. We met each other in a metro station as we were heading to a traditional French restaurant. I wasn't expecting an inter-cultural gaffe...

    Frenchie: why have you come dressed this way?
    Me: what do you mean?
    Frenchie: your shirt...
    Me: what's wrong with it?
    Frenchie: it's a freaking checkers shirt!
    Me: what are you complaining about? it was very expensive!
    Frenchie: it's what butchers wear here!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 10:07 PM GMT
    I'm Latinamerican (from Panama) and my boyfriend's Northamerican (US-California) .... and .... yes, there's just a bit of cultural differences but is nothing major. Little things.

    .... cultural differences are rather than some difficulty, its more like something where we can grow and learn .... icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    Aside from being gay which is still a know/unknown thing now with my folks. My father was never too keen on the ideal of interracial dating. His family from Georgia and his family has the "typical" old-southern US mindset that interracial dating is taboo. He's opened up a bit in his ways slightly but has expressed that he would like his children to date people who look like them.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2010 6:21 PM GMT
    Ricovelas saidAside from being gay which is still a know/unknown thing now with my folks. My father was never too keen on the ideal of interracial dating. His family from Georgia and his family has the "typical" old-southern US mindset that interracial dating is taboo. He's opened up a bit in his ways slightly but has expressed that he would like his children to date people who look like them.



    He's gonna be happy then if you bring home a black guy... That should teach him to be more specific icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2010 6:37 PM GMT
    Tazo995 said
    Ricovelas saidAside from being gay which is still a know/unknown thing now with my folks. My father was never too keen on the ideal of interracial dating. His family from Georgia and his family has the "typical" old-southern US mindset that interracial dating is taboo. He's opened up a bit in his ways slightly but has expressed that he would like his children to date people who look like them.



    He's gonna be happy then if you bring home a black guy... That should teach him to be more specific icon_razz.gif


    I don't know which would piss him off more a non-minority guy or a guy period. icon_biggrin.gif
  • TristanLane

    Posts: 118

    Dec 21, 2010 11:07 PM GMT
    It's not difficult. You get what you make out of it. It's actually quite fun when you learn a culture different than your own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 21, 2010 11:30 PM GMT
    I dont think it makes a difference in the gay community, its more of a shock to ppl that 2 guys are porkin eachother instead of 2 different colored guys. one day we will make it to the point where its less shocking that I have another man as a lover and more shocking that hes a big take no nonsense black guy with a huge throbbing dick
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Dec 21, 2010 11:36 PM GMT


    I hope it is Harder....that's what makes it so damn HOT icon_smile.gif
  • oyoung

    Posts: 97

    Dec 22, 2010 2:57 AM GMT
    bachian saidThis situation actually happened between me and a French guy in Paris. We met each other in a metro station as we were heading to a traditional French restaurant. I wasn't expecting an inter-cultural gaffe...

    Frenchie: why have you come dressed this way?
    Me: what do you mean?
    Frenchie: your shirt...
    Me: what's wrong with it?
    Frenchie: it's a freaking checkers shirt!
    Me: what are you complaining about? it was very expensive!
    Frenchie: it's what butchers wear here!



    LOL... icon_lol.gif

    Culture is definitely a difficult thing. But it also depends on person. If both are receptive, it would still work fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 24, 2010 11:11 PM GMT
    rywboy saidJust wondering if people find it easier to date people from same culture, rather than interacial couples.


    My last boyfriend was half Filipino and half white. Before that he was 100% Mexican. They both had very white features. I don't care much about ethnicity, but I am more attracted to Caucasian features.

    As far as culture is concerned. It wasn't a deal breaker, but I do think you have more in common in some aspects when you come from a similar culture.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 24, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    what are caucasian features
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 24, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    carterp91 saidwhat are caucasian features
    Their homepage is http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    Ricovelas saidAside from being gay which is still a know/unknown thing now with my folks. My father was never too keen on the ideal of interracial dating. His family from Georgia and his family has the "typical" old-southern US mindset that interracial dating is taboo. He's opened up a bit in his ways slightly but has expressed that he would like his children to date people who look like them.



    You dont have to follow that template of course icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Dec 27, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    rywboy saidJust wondering if people find it easier to date people from same culture, rather than interacial couples.


    I think it depends on the individuals

    The two relationships that lasted longest for me were:

    1. Japanese guy
    2. American born guy who grew up in Europe.

    One of my shortest was with an Australian (caucasian) And the cultural difference was what did it in.

    So where am I going with this? You will find skin colour become irrelavant in a very short space of time. Except of course the eroticism that can be created by the difference in skin tones. Now that can be hot hot hot!!!

    Cultural imprints can however last a tad longer and may not be so easy to overcome.