How many of your friends were tricks or potential dates that turned into friendships?

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jun 12, 2007 11:59 AM GMT
    I can only speak for myself. I would have to say that I have slept with about 60% of my friends. I'm curious if this is the same for some of you. This was also at various points in my life when I was single. lol
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 12, 2007 1:43 PM GMT
    Hi Cityguy

    I have a nice group of Gay friends and have never slept with any of them.

    However from other people I met and talked to about this, I consider this unusual. I think your percentage sounds more usual.

    Thankfully I have also never found my friends sexually attractive. I live in London which has a massive and ever-changing Gay scene, so have never had to resort in desperation to having to sleep with them (shudders...touchs wood).

    Loz
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    Jun 12, 2007 3:12 PM GMT
    I haven't slept with me any of my friends either... although that's probably because I haven't slept with anyone at all...

    But regardless, in a hypothetical world of casual sex, I would keep my friends separate from my, as cityguy refers to, "tricks"
  • atxclimber

    Posts: 480

    Jun 12, 2007 4:50 PM GMT
    I always lament that I have very few gay male friends, but I think it's because most of my friends are (or were at one time) coworkers, most people in the videogames industry are straight, and so it's self-reinforcing.

    And when I do meet gay guys, it's usually, say, from sites like this, or otherwise in some kind of deliberate way, like, "I'm going to meet gay guys." Generally that implies dating. I don't seem to be very good at keeping in touch with the ones where we don't click. I think since all my interaction with gay guys is in the context of dating, it means when the dating doesn't happen, neither of us is particularly motivated to stay in touch. It's too bad, really.

    Also, not a lot of gay guys do the sports I do. In SF I was in a GLBT road cycling group, but even then, most of them were a good 10 years older than me or more. And rock climbing is the straightest damn sport, even in San Francisco, the climbing gym was full of (very hot) straight guys.

    So yeah. I have basically no friends who I've slept with, because once I sleep with someone, it seems like it goes to dating or nothing at all. Hmmph.
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    Jun 12, 2007 5:02 PM GMT
    Geez, cityguy39. Hopefully, by "tricks" you meant "hookups" and not "boys for hire."

    I think it is very rare, if not impossible, to convert a "hookup" (meaning, a "I need sex NOW" date via something like CraigsList) into anything beyond that. And I mean a friendship or a boyfriendship.

    I will admit I have had those, and tried...and failed. Most people who want that instant hookup really want no strings attached as well.

    I'm not even sure what "potential dates" means. But I have to say that my best friendships with gay men are based upon multifaceted attractions and admirations, including sexual/physical/emotional attraction, even if sex is not part of the friendship.

    So, many of the "friends" that I would consider as boyfriend material, are friends still, because of that commonality/attraction. To substract that out just because we are not boyfriends/having sex would be take the "edge" away from the friendship.

    John
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    Jun 12, 2007 6:20 PM GMT
    Two of my best gay friend are somebody I never have sex with. Those other tricks never really became my friend when the sex part is over. However my last ex bf somehow became my friend . This guy is cheating on his current boyfriend and will usually still have sex with me (whenever I give him the opportunity). So he is the only old trick that I have that turned to friendship....well, with some occasional sex on the side.
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    Jun 12, 2007 6:37 PM GMT
    Tricks: What a horrible way to refer to guys you've had sex with. Yuck.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jun 12, 2007 11:21 PM GMT
    LOL hey red, your right, I probably should have used a different term then tricks, but I thought it sounded better then a hookup or trade. Don't get me wrong guys, I have a very small circle of friends, so don't think I have slept with all of Chicago. Sometimes you just hookup with a guy the sex is good, you click but you both realize it's not going to go any further then a good friendship. I can't be the only guy who will admit this.
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    Jun 13, 2007 5:44 AM GMT
    Years ago, in a different city, a good percentage of my gay friends were former bedmates. It was not a requirement for friendship, but it was not a barrier. And I was lucky enough that all of my former bedmates
    were friendly when ever our paths crossed again.
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    Jun 13, 2007 5:47 AM GMT
    Strangely the only three people that I know who are into rock climbing are gay but they live near Denver.
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    Jun 13, 2007 5:53 AM GMT
    The guy who has turned out to be my best friend for about 30 years now I picked up at the Spike on a Saturday night.

    He was cute, built, told me his sports car was out front, and that he lived in his own home near the marina. I figured I'd hit the jackpot.

    We got to his place, undressed, he said "not with THAT, you don't!" We ended up just spending the night together - and I knew he was too great a guy to let slip through my fingers.

    Of my other close friends, I'd say it was about 50/50 whether or not we met on a date/pickup.

    Joey

    PS: Redhead - the word may have connotions for you that it doesn't have for some of us who are a bit older. It's not a pejorative term for us - it was just a convenient label for someone whom you met for the express purpose of getting off. What word would you use for that?
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Jun 13, 2007 9:00 AM GMT
    I don't think we use the word Trick that much in the UK (trade is a more popular word).

    We'd use the word 'get-off' for someone we meet in a bar and have sex with.'

    Loz

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    Jun 13, 2007 9:10 AM GMT
    Or shag. That's the word I use. Although I think in the States it's a dance routine. Not much difference really.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jun 13, 2007 9:31 AM GMT
    I think I've slept with two of my friends, and one of them is my ex, lol. I mean, the VAST majority of my friends are straight so it kinda never really comes up, lol...but even my gay friends...we don't sleep together.

    I'm doing my best to abstain from sex at the moment, so that may have something to do with it as well, lol.
  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Jun 14, 2007 4:00 AM GMT
    I think a lot of good gay friendships come from hookups or dates that just went another way, and you just naturally end up becoming great friends if you liked the guy in the first place.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 14, 2007 8:42 PM GMT
    A buddy of mine did a 'cockfight' with another guy for some very high stakes. They 69, first to cum lost, both betting they were the best cocksucker in town. Both were uncut, wagered loser got circumcised. My buddy won, his opponent lost and got cut at a party by a medical professional. Now they are partners!

    Amazing to be opponents in a cockfight battle and now lovers. His partner lost his foreskin to the man who later became his lover.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 22, 2014 12:05 AM GMT
    Hidden/Deleted MemberHis partner lost his foreskin to the man who later became his lover.

    icon_eek.gif

    That's just -- I duno -- nasty. icon_neutral.gif
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Mar 22, 2014 12:10 AM GMT
    MikeW, is 2007 your favorite year? icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 22, 2014 12:22 AM GMT
    I have a handful of buddies who started out as "buddies."

    I still want to sleep with one of them.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Mar 22, 2014 12:36 AM GMT
    creature saidMikeW, is 2007 your favorite year? icon_lol.gif

    No, not really but no one was saying anything particularly interesting in the present so I thought I'd have a look see in RJ's most distant past. Fascinating stuff there and I've barely even scratched the surface.