Life without online hook up site..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 8:04 PM GMT
    So first, I have never gotten laid from a hook up site like manhunt, grinder or any of the others. I am as much of a fan of casual sex as the next guy, but the whole process seems artificial and forced. The time it takes to find someone and go through the rigamorale, I can take care of myself. Plus, I think the chemistry of meeting someone in the flesh is far more exciting than browsing profiles trying to find a stranger to stick your dick in. Call me old fashioned.

    the problem lies in the fact that it seems like with gays, that's the way to meet guys. the same guys seem to be at the bars and its hard to find a sexual connection other places. (I've never been to a bathhouse, I think I like the thrill of chase too much to have it just laid out there for the taking)

    does anyone find this to be an issue?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    Meh, I live in a metropolis with oodles of gay bars with oodles of hot guys looking for random sex.
    Hookups offline are no problem.
    Online is just a playground for me. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 8:55 PM GMT
    Hey Bens, I feel your pain. I miss the days of the southern cross cruisin. A smile never felt so good as to see the "look back"
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    Nov 05, 2010 9:01 PM GMT
    Eh im almost over online hook ups, I find the guys that tend to use it seem to be withdrawn and anti-social.

    That being said, I have met some cool people off of those sites for a little more than a hook up, and I did have fun with one guy who was traveling on business. Never knew a pocket rocket could be so much fun.
  • Neon_Dreams

    Posts: 352

    Nov 05, 2010 9:05 PM GMT
    I prefer meeting new friends and potential lovers in real life. Enough said!


    Joe
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    Nov 05, 2010 11:16 PM GMT
    Ethanlove saidHey Bens, I feel your pain. I miss the days of the southern cross cruisin. A smile never felt so good as to see the "look back"


    EXACTLY!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Bens77 saidSo first, I have never gotten laid from a hook up site like manhunt, grinder or any of the others. I am as much of a fan of casual sex as the next guy, but the whole process seems artificial and forced. The time it takes to find someone and go through the rigamorale, I can take care of myself. Plus, I think the chemistry of meeting someone in the flesh is far more exciting than browsing profiles trying to find a stranger to stick your dick in. Call me old fashioned.

    the problem lies in the fact that it seems like with gays, that's the way to meet guys. the same guys seem to be at the bars and its hard to find a sexual connection other places. (I've never been to a bathhouse, I think I like the thrill of chase too much to have it just laid out there for the taking)

    does anyone find this to be an issue?


    Your perspective on bathhouses is wrong. The competition can get fierce. People are STILL picky. Oftentimes you still must work for it. ;)
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Nov 05, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    I guess it depends where you live. There are no gay bars in my redneck backwoods world, so my only source is the internet. If you live in a place with gay bars and street hustlers, it stands to reason that the guys hooking up online are going to be socially challenged. There will be more and more of those as the blackberry generation works its way up the generational ladder.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 05, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    barriehomeboy saidI guess it depends where you live. There are no gay bars in my redneck backwoods world, so my only source is the internet. If you live in a place with gay bars and street hustlers, it stands to reason that the guys hooking up online are going to be socially challenged. There will be more and more of those as the blackberry generation works its way up the generational ladder.


    Not always the case, some of us are very bogged down by our job and dont always have the time to get out there to meet people, so online is a good resort.

    Like when you work an hour and a half away from home 6 days a week, it isnt fun :-(.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Nov 06, 2010 12:06 AM GMT
    I spend most of my day in the car too. Then there's shopping and laundry, and cooking dinner. We're all sitting home alone dude, otherwise we'd be having fun instead of chatting on RealJock.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 1:29 AM GMT
    Bens77 said
    Ethanlove saidHey Bens, I feel your pain. I miss the days of the southern cross cruisin. A smile never felt so good as to see the "look back"


    EXACTLY!


    RIGHT! icon_biggrin.gif
    Online cruising's easier, faster, and safer, but there's no thrill, no adrenaline rush, no instant PHYSICAL HUMAN CONTACT!
    Makes me wish it was the 70s again...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    Bens77 saiddoes anyone find this to be an issue?

    Yes! I miss the days of going out, having a good time and catching the eye of a guy across a crowded bar.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    Yeah it's all a beat scene. If you don't want to go to bars and clubs what are your options? Meanwhile the same guys out at those places are on the online sites.

    I think you end up just sort of finding the right guy when it's the right time so if you happen to find him on a gay hookup site then good on you but the odds seem slim.

    Also it should be noted that I've met some decent friends, yes just friends on Manhunt and despite the claims of it being a hookup site, I haven't gotten much of that. Ha ha. icon_redface.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 06, 2010 12:01 PM GMT
    Sometime you feel like a Nut ........... sometime you don't

    Casual sex is great ...... for Casual sex
    and the sexy flirty chase and the romance of meeting someone new is also great

    But you can never mix the two

    They are totally separate entities
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 06, 2010 12:15 PM GMT
    joecoolnv saidI prefer meeting new friends and potential lovers in real life. Enough said!


    Joe



    Yeah, I have to agree with joecoolnv icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 3:43 PM GMT
    barriehomeboy said We're all sitting home alone dude, otherwise we'd be having fun instead of chatting on RealJock.


    Haha, I loved this.

    I've got an account at Bear411, but in the 5 or 6 years I've had a profile on that site, I've hooked up maybe once or twice. I've met some cool friends there that are into some of the same sports / activities that I'm into though. Online hookups don't do it for me. I'm more of a "body language" guy. Bars can be fun, and parties are my favorite.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    I find its an issue no matter what. On line is 99.9% flakey or the guys are just plain liars who claim to be hot but then when you meet them in person, its a nasty troll or hob-goblin who shows up. I once chatted with a guy on line who claimed to look just like Ben Affleck. So I met the guy at nearby Starbucks. A tall, obese, ugly guy showed up. He had the nerve to demand that I take him to my place for sex. I of course said no.

    On the other hand, many guys on line don't seem to take anything very seriously. The level of realness of others on line seems to be greatly reduced as compared to in person.

    Most of the hot guys at clubs or bars in L.A. are the ones working there, and most of them are just working there and are only nice because they want tips. Or they are straight but find it an easy living to work in a gay bar.

    The only other place to see the hot ones is at the gym, but for me, that's not an appropriate venue. I'm not a steamroom slut. When I'm at the gym, I'm there to work out, not cruise guys who I don't know if they are straight or not.

    So, I find it's a waste of time no matter where I am. My friends tell me I'm too picky. Maybe I am, but I doubt that it will change.

  • Arab_in_NL

    Posts: 100

    Nov 06, 2010 5:15 PM GMT
    I live in Kuwait; a conservative arabic muslim country ..
    we have no bars, and homosexual affairs are extremely illegal ..
    so my life would suck without dating websites, becuase it's the one and only way to meet other Kuwaiti gay guys ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    The way I see it (after having been single again for a little over a year), if you live in a major gay-friendly city (as I do), hook up sites and bars are about 50/50. One is basically scoping out different parts of the same pool with different approaches. Both can be equally exciting, disappointing, and nerve-wracking - as well as potentially dangerous.

    There's no guarantees no matter how one slices it.

    That said, living in suburbia or homo-dangerous places like Kuwait must be a whole other ball o' wax. I feel for you. icon_neutral.gif

    After college I spent three years in Connecticut - mainly New Haven - and I severely missed my gay options in NYC, where I grew up. The variety and things people were into seemed vastly different. Though if I had the internet then as we do now, it might have been much easier to meet interesting guys that I had more in common with. I DID meet cool guys - but not nearly as easily.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 06, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    Hmmm......the reason why I go online.....:

    1. To be social when I don't really have an option to go out.(too late, too tired, studying or completing a task at home for work the next day, getting ready for work, etc.)

    2. To kill boredom.

    3. Make friends. I've actually made some pretty wonderful friends from online sites. Actually, the only gay friend I have right now that I didn't meet from online, or by the acquaintance of a friend that is online, is a good friend I met at work. Other than an ex bf that I met online as well, who still means a lot to me, I never had sex with any of my friends.

    4. To keep informed. My gay friend from work rarely goes online. He is a little bit older and he is very socially graceful and has a lot of friends already. He goes out quite often. But I have tons of information on guys that he is clueless about, because I see their profile online. Case in point, there are tons of guys that work out at our gym that are gay but my friend doesn't know it. I don't "out" the guy to anyone because it's none of my business.

    I'm not saying going online is all wine and roses, but it does have some benefits. i don't really want to hook up with anyone from online. I agree that most guys "lookin" to trick from online have issues.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 06, 2010 6:03 PM GMT
    GQjock said[...]
    Casual sex is great ...... for Casual sex
    and the sexy flirty chase and the romance of meeting someone new is also great
    But you can never mix the two
    They are totally separate entities


    Sorry you haven't had that pleasure. I have, many times.
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Nov 06, 2010 6:09 PM GMT
    You mean you want something more from RJ than pretty pictures (my profile being an exeption to that :shockicon_smile.gif and the occasional exercise "tip"?.

    I say, waste some time (but not your life) on whatever flavour of hookup sites you like, but don't waste your life on them.

    Hell, I just turned down a bear411 hook up in favor of going to the gym. Another step on my path to being more jock and less bear ;).