WHO GETS HURT MORE, THE DUMPOR OR THE DUMPEE?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:10 AM GMT
    Also, apart from who dump whom, who gets hurt more, the bottom or the top? share your stories. both getting dumping and dumping someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    who's hotter?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    I am talking "emotionally"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    The one who was most attached.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    I am talking about from your own experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    Whether he is the dumpor or the dumpee, it is always him that is hurt more. Never me.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 07, 2010 1:38 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidThe person getting dumped ..... hands down!

    It's always tough to let someone down..... but that's nowhere as tough as having to digest a hefty dose of rejection....icon_confused.gif


    I agree. the only upside to it all is that usually it gets easier to handle the more it happens....icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    Not always the the dumpee. An ex of mine wanted out, so did all manner of other things (including cheating) to try to get me to pull the plug on the relationship so he wouldn't have to be the bad guy.

    Well, it worked, I dumped him, pined for him though I knew I shouldn't, then walked around a week after that with a stunned expression on my face when I saw him out and about with his new lover.

    lol, sometimes you can't win. Though, in retrospect, I did, didn't I? icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    meninlove said Not always the the dumpee. An ex of mine wanted out, so did all manner of other things (including cheating) to try to get me to pull the plug on the relationship so he wouldn't have to be the bad guy.

    Well, it worked, I dumped him, pined for him though I knew I shouldn't, then walked around a week after that with a stunned expression on my face when I saw him out and about with his new lover.


    That would prob devastate me. I did have my first bf get together with someone less than 2 weeks after dumping me. That was extremely upsetting. I'd say for the most part its the dumpee
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    I'm going to say the one getting dumped. There's a lot of things that run through that person's head...and then you run into the ex and their new guy in public, and that crushing pain in your gut comes back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    lol, Thelstrat, it didn't happen just once. icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    In most cases I suppose it is the guy getting dumped. I've been dumped many times and while it hurts the strange thing is I think the other guy goes through his pain right before he dumps me. My last relationship the guy starting getting very depressed and complained about having a panic attack. The last time we were together he was so tender and affectionate. I didn't realize he was being that way because he planned to never see me again. Another guy told me he cried all the way home after we had had a fantastic vacation together. I thought that was touching until I realized he was crying because he knew what he was giving up when he inevitably would leave me. Another guy dumped me three times. We tried friendship after that but he would get so jealous and lash out at me for the smallest things. I always get dumped when my bfs realize I'm not made of clay or I remind them to much of their dads. So they go through pain when they realize they can't mold me into what they want and I go through pain when they dump me. How's that for an answer.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:03 AM GMT
    Oh what a tangled web we weave
    when first we practice to deceive!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    The guy who gets lied to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    Been on both sides of that... and though I'm very much a dom/top, it hurts pretty much the same being either the dumper or the dumped.

    Breaking an attachment can always be a bit of rough jolt, unless the "other" has proven to be such an unconscionable douchebag - in which case there can be a sense of relief.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo saidThe guy who gets lied to.


    very much so.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:05 AM GMT
    alphatrigger saidBeen on both sides of that... and though I'm very much a dom/top, it hurts pretty much the same being either the dumper or the dumped.

    Breaking an attachment can always be a bit of rough jolt, unless the "other" has proven to be such an unconscionable douchebag - in which case there can be a sense of relief.


    I still don't get why people mention that they are a top or a dom when it comes to stuff like this.
    Are tops and doms not suppose to have feelings? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:07 AM GMT
    mnboy said
    alphatrigger saidBeen on both sides of that... and though I'm very much a dom/top, it hurts pretty much the same being either the dumper or the dumped.

    Breaking an attachment can always be a bit of rough jolt, unless the "other" has proven to be such an unconscionable douchebag - in which case there can be a sense of relief.


    I still don't get why people mention that they are a top or a dom when it comes to stuff like this.
    Are tops and doms not suppose to have feelings? icon_confused.gif


    The OP asked about it in his question, otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    It's really interesting how we go through so much trouble to decide who gets to dump whom. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:12 AM GMT
    I prefer to be the dumpee so that the dumper doesn't feel like they were dumped.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    Seriously I would say it depends on the individual and the situation as to why they broke up in the first.
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Nov 07, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    the even split hurts just as much. i can attest to that. still working on it almost a yr later. thought the shit was done for, then he started seeing someone new. the cherry to top it off, we live in the same building. not a good feeling, brought it all back
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 6:41 AM GMT
    Normally me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 7:21 AM GMT
    without fiber, ther person taking a dump?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2010 7:31 AM GMT
    The person with the relationship that ended gets hurts the most.