I Love Him ... But He's Not Interested

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 07, 2010 3:53 AM GMT
    Ok well im in love with this guy i talk to everyday and we're kinda good friends but hes in love with someone else icon_cry.gif ....... do you guys think i should still tell him how i feel?
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    Nov 08, 2010 6:42 PM GMT
    no,

    but if you can't hold it any longer, say so and move on....

    why waste time on someone who is not interested in you?
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    Nov 08, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
    tell him.icon_razz.gif


    dont end up like the character in " flashbacks of a fool:"
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Nov 08, 2010 6:47 PM GMT
    There is no easy answer for this, you don't want to be this guy's back up plan, but also he may love you too, but he has no idea how you feel...
  • str8hardbody9

    Posts: 1519

    Nov 08, 2010 6:48 PM GMT
    NO..NO..NO. just move on or else you will just get hurt. There are so many guys around that will appreciate you.icon_biggrin.gif
  • swimmermatt10...

    Posts: 281

    Nov 08, 2010 6:48 PM GMT
    frenchatheart saidno,

    but if you can't hold it any longer, say so and move on....

    why waste time on someone who is not interested in you?


    I'm 50/50 on the advice here, if the guy has no idea that you are interested in him, he doesn't have the chance to show interest back. But, if he does know you are interested, and reciprocates no interest, then yes why waste your time?

    p.s. is this man gay? just a clarifier because many gay men fall in love with straight men who are in love with a girl and then it's a completely different story.
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    Nov 08, 2010 6:52 PM GMT
    when i say "tell him and move on" it's because I don't want to be his pity love.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 08, 2010 6:54 PM GMT
    Drop it and move on. If he becomes available, then tell him.
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    Nov 08, 2010 6:55 PM GMT
    AJ_hearts_TF saidOk well im in love with this guy i talk to everyday and we're kinda good friends but hes in love with someone else icon_cry.gif ....... do you guys think i should still tell him how i feel?


    NO.
    You start sleeping around his guy friends.
    icon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 08, 2010 6:57 PM GMT
    You should just tell him, if he is a friend of you, and he is not interested you still will be friends.
    if you tell him, and get turned down, the feeling will go away, if he likes you too, then you can date.
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    Nov 11, 2010 6:19 AM GMT
    tell him
    im kind of im the same boat
    somewhat
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    Nov 11, 2010 6:21 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    AJ_hearts_TF saidOk well im in love with this guy i talk to everyday and we're kinda good friends but hes in love with someone else icon_cry.gif ....... do you guys think i should still tell him how i feel?


    NO.
    You start sleeping around his guy friends.
    icon_twisted.gif


    I'm gonna go with GigoloAssassin on this one. icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2010 6:25 AM GMT
    Yes, tell him when the guy he is in love with is around. Communication is the key. tape it too.
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    Nov 11, 2010 6:28 AM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidYes, tell him when the guy he is in love with is around. Communication is the key. tape it too.

    This.
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    Nov 11, 2010 6:51 AM GMT
    No and here's why. Think availabilty. There are 3 important areas that must be looked at: Physically available, Emotionally available and Financially available. Financially is always a touchy subject and means different things to different people. Physically available means he is with you in the moment and in the relationship. But what you should think about is Emotionally available and clearly he is not. Giving him another option like this puts him in a very precarious position and really, do you want a guy who is in love with someone else to just flip and take you? It should always be a clean slate. Unrequited love is painful sometimes, but save your friendship and don't tell him. It may come together later on, but now is not the time to tell him.
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    Nov 11, 2010 4:09 PM GMT
    AJ_hearts_TF saidOk well im in love with this guy i talk to everyday and we're kinda good friends but hes in love with someone else icon_cry.gif ....... do you guys think i should still tell him how i feel?



    I know that problem man i have one too here on RJ
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 11, 2010 4:14 PM GMT

    Tell the guy if you like but first, get prepared to be rejected.

    -Doug
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    Nov 11, 2010 4:14 PM GMT
    blinqdd saidYou should just tell him, if he is a friend of you, and he is not interested you still will be friends.
    if you tell him, and get turned down, the feeling will go away, if he likes you too, then you can date.

    ^
    Yup this

    Its better to just be honest and tell him, wihtout expecting feelings in return, otherwise you'll be sorry you never said something... if it doesnt return thats cool... you can move on more easily then
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    Nov 12, 2010 7:28 PM GMT
    Usually yes it's a 50/50 chance of the news being good or bad, but would you really rather think "what if" for the rest of your life? You should just put all fear aside and come out with it. I did with my friend and we're still good friends(only cause he's straight and back home in Europe).
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    Nov 12, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    Gosh! Did you'all not watch "Another Gay Movie" ??
    Do you not remember what happened at the end??
    You gotta tell him!
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    Nov 12, 2010 7:54 PM GMT
    ohioguy12 saidThere is no easy answer for this, you don't want to be this guy's back up plan, but also he may love you too, but he has no idea how you feel...


    agreed!
  • metta

    Posts: 39169

    Nov 12, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    I don't know if it is necessary to tell him directly. hmmm...what if you said something like....

    if you would like to go on a real date with me some time I wouldn't say no.

    It would give him space while letting him know that you are interested. I don't know if that would actually work...just a thought.

    Being that you love him....I'm assuming that also means that you care about him and want him to be happy. It may be that he is interested in you. I have no idea. But if you want to protect your friendship with him and continue to be a part of his life as well as want to let him know that you are interested in the possibility of there being more, it might be an easier way to do it. If he decides that he does not think that you two are compatible in that way, you need to be able to accept that, respect that, and wish the best for him as well as yourself...with the understanding that there will be other potential partners/husbands that will come into your life as well. His opinion may also change over time but you of course should not count on that.

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    Nov 12, 2010 8:24 PM GMT
    AJ_hearts_TF saidOk well im in love with this guy i talk to everyday and we're kinda good friends but hes in love with someone else icon_cry.gif ....... do you guys think i should still tell him how i feel?


    Honestly...
    Just forget about him! Listen I was in the exact situation. I liked this guy at work who was gay and I told him point blank in the beginning that I liked him. As the months progressed we would talk, make sexual jokes and compliment me. I couldnt take it any longer, us not having any sexual contact, and I really wanted to date him.

    I then told him how I felt about him and guess what his response was? "What the fuck is wrong with you." Apparently he wanted it to just be friends and didnt expect my emotions to grow.

    So I told him, friends dont make constant jokes about how they want to fuck you; and I told him to fuck off...here I am, moving on, no more sexual attraction or attention to him...

    Give the guy you like an ultimatum...do u like me that or not?
    And he better not be straight, cuz thats a waste of time!

    Good luck...
    Adrian icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 12, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    I tired faked profile ask for advice. I suggest you be a man and stop posting faked profileicon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 12, 2010 9:17 PM GMT
    I think you know the answer, you know how he feels, you said it... "he's not interested". That's enough for you... telling him will only make him uncomfortable and he might tell you "nice" things that you might want to hear, like "maybe someday", or "it's not you, it's me"... You see where I'm going. Mutual admiration is easy to see, so is the opposite. So, move on, it's not mutual. You'll know it if/when it is... Good luck