What's the secret to finding love?

  • du_jock

    Posts: 40

    Nov 13, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    Any ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    up up down down left right left right A B A B SELECT START
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:21 PM GMT
    sshhhhhh...the secret
















    STOP LOOKING!
  • du_jock

    Posts: 40

    Nov 13, 2010 4:21 PM GMT
    haha, dude, that made me smile. thanks icon_smile.gif
  • du_jock

    Posts: 40

    Nov 13, 2010 4:22 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidsshhhhhh...the secret


    Yeah, I feel like I really don't look, but sometimes I get lonely













    STOP LOOKING!
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    http://www.spcai.org/?s=spca&c=00000
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidSTOP LOOKING!

    That doesn't work, either.
  • jdx007

    Posts: 17

    Nov 13, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    Oh how I love 8-bit throwbacks
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    Being at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate!
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    BuddyinNYC saidBeing at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate!


    Exactly.

    When you love yourself you are able to love someone else.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 13, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    Usually you don't find love......love finds you icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    93
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    I stop finding love. Just make it. ha ha ha.
    Actually, my focus has been to love myself rather than to wait/find someone else to love me.
  • str8hardbody9

    Posts: 1519

    Nov 13, 2010 4:40 PM GMT
    malefeet saidUsually you don't find love......love finds you icon_wink.gif


    I totally agree. Don't look for it, it will come along unexpectedly. Just enjoy life to the fullest.icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Nov 13, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    serendipity, or perhaps synchronicity.
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    Nov 13, 2010 4:49 PM GMT
    du_jock saidAny ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.

    Do what you like to do and you will find him there.
  • du_jock

    Posts: 40

    Nov 13, 2010 5:27 PM GMT
    hauptstimme said
    BuddyinNYC saidBeing at the right place time at the right time. Don't stress, it's a matter of fate!


    Exactly.

    When you love yourself you are able to love someone else.



    That's not the issue man. I love myself and ready to love someone else.
  • dannyboy1101

    Posts: 977

    Nov 13, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    Being relaxed and open-minded?
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    Nov 13, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    du_jock saidAny ideas on the secret to finding love. I feel like I have a lot going for me...just can't seem to find someone I want to date or be with long term.


    Tell me when you find it. icon_wink.gif

    Perhaps the secret is patience...
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    Nov 13, 2010 6:22 PM GMT
    The secret is to get out and enjoy life. Volunteer to do things, get with other people. Go running or cycling. Put yourself where other people are. You won't meet a soul staying home. It's a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better your chances to make good friends, and eventually meet someone special!
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    Nov 13, 2010 6:40 PM GMT
    AvadaKedavra saidup up down down left right left right A B A B SELECT START


    lol NICE! true love here I come!

    I have to admit I agree with a lot of the advice... but it's a little funny that MOST of the guys who posted a response are single and are therefore not with their love lol icon_eek.gif But either way... my 2nd favourite piece of advice here was Caslon16000's 'Do what you like to do and you will find him there.'

    GOod luck!
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    Nov 13, 2010 6:45 PM GMT
    Love?

    thing-called-love.jpg

    Isnt it just always there?

    always.jpg[/quote]

    iow, dont look for something that is always there all the time... just be open to it
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    Nov 13, 2010 7:01 PM GMT
    Don't look for it and don't have a list of specific criteria that he needs to comply with...be open to adapt to him and he will adapt to you.

    Both times it has happened to me I wasn't looking. The first time was in a bar in Amsterdam celebrating my 30th. He was German, I wasn't sure about him at first, but we got talking and he turned out to be a complete lovable goof ball....we were together about 3 years on and off. The second time was on a4a! A hot handsome guy hit me up and here we are six years later...he's the love of my life and my best friend.
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    Nov 13, 2010 7:12 PM GMT
    I'd like to say "It goes without saying..." but that's not it. While stopping your search is part of the answer it isn't the entire task.

    The truth behind it is in being happy in being single. Not for the sake of being single but rather with yourself. The reason that this works is the same reason that guys are more often 'hit on' when they're in a good relationship than not is that the confidence and satisfaction of everyday life is far more attractive in subtle ways than is the guy in 'searching for love' mode.

    This is the same reason that it's often recommended that when someone has just ended a long relationship, that they not start a new one for at least a year.

    Loving yourself is important, but you must understand that you need to get to point of not needing anyone to fulfill that. When you're happy enough in living a single life, one that doesn't require another person to somehow 'complete' you, then you're much more likely to achieve two important states of being (as it were) that put you in a position of meeting someone who could be perfect for you.

    1. Your lacking the need for someone in your life gives you confidence to enjoy your life on a day to day basis. There are no ties to hold you back. There are no limitations on what you need to be happy. There are no restraints on your expressing yourself honestly in your opinions, avocations, and activities. This makes you happy and more attractive to others (whether or not you're attracted to them.)

    2. Once you are living your life in a genuinely fulfilling manner, you're less likely to settle for someone who has 'some' of the traits that you want, regardless of whether those traits are in the areas of looks, talent, resource, altruism, culture, etc. You will be a in a far better position to turn down someone with some dazzling feature that you're particularly attracted to and more clearly see the deficits that would cause problems in the future (whether near or far.) You will also more clearly see which of your personal requirements for the 'perfect man' are superficial or even counterproductive.

    When you get to that point, the problem you will face is not whether the 'right man' is out there, but rather 'which one do I choose.' If you are truly happy within yourself, the choice will be easy and you'll have little difficulty in the choice. If there is difficulty, then the likelihood is that neither is right.

    I always liked the expression, "I want to become the man my dog thinks I am." Unfortunately, it doesn't tell me how. That's the part I had to figure out for myself. That happened by both looking at what I did wrong, and also in the observation of others who had relationships to which I aspired.
  • wellwell

    Posts: 2265

    Nov 13, 2010 7:39 PM GMT
    CREATE IT IN YOUR HEART, AND YOU'LL NEVER BE WITHOUT IT





    Oh yea, ...and listen to The Beatles now-and-then.