Why is it with bisexual men

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    that they don't want to stand under their own banner of bisexual?

    They either want to stand under the straight one, and then or the gay one.

    Why do they not support their own community, and not want to stand under their own banner?

    Remember bi is neither gay or straight.
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Nov 14, 2010 10:27 PM GMT
    They probably don't want to deal with the "PICK A SIDE ALREADY!!!" debates.
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    Nov 14, 2010 10:28 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie saidthat they don't want to stand under their own banner of bisexual?

    They either want to stand under the straight one, and then or the gay one.

    Why do they not support their own community, and not want to stand under their own banner?

    Remember bi is neither gay or straight.


    I'm Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs! Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:32 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie saidthat they don't want to stand under their own banner of bisexual?

    They either want to stand under the straight one, and then or the gay one.

    Why do they not support their own community, and not want to stand under their own banner?

    Remember bi is neither gay or straight.


    I take it you have never walked a mile in a bisexual's shoes??.........Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    I use to identify as primarily straight because I really had no intention of supporting a community that doesn't accept me (the gay one that is).
    The straight community is far more accepting when it comes to bisexuals than the gay community. Or I should say those who think they are the gay community. I only ever have a problem with being bi when I goto the club or another 'gay' location. In the GLBT centers and advocacy groups no one cares. Im just another soul for the cause.
    Also, only ever been 'hated' on for being bi by gay men.
    I really can't hold it against a bisexual person for not wanting to stand behind a community that won't even stand behind them. Just look at the threads on here. If people are talking about sexuality it is always gay or straight. God forbid someone be bisexual.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Nov 14, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Pattison, today's generations care less about labels. As with transgender people, bisexuals still share a lot in common with gays -- we all want to be who we are and love who we want to love, despite greater society's view of gender and sexuality.
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    Whenever I post an ad on www.craigslist.org/m4m I put down that "I'm a bisexual/bicurious/str8 bottom bitch L4F with hung men, while the wife/girlfriend is away for the weekend."
    Who the fuck needs a banner when you're getting an inbox full of hook-up requests from crazy queens that think they're hooking-up with a hetero-bicurious-never done this before- but only want 8+" of pleasure guys.
    No fats or fems.

    Sad but true- self-proclaimed bicurious/bisexual/str8 men seem to get more attention than homosexuals. icon_cry.gif

    Wait... I don't use craigslist- I swear. icon_cool.gif No I'm dead serious. I'm pure.
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:43 PM GMT
    Midas426 saidThey probably don't want to deal with the "PICK A SIDE ALREADY!!!" debates.


    This... when I used to label myself that, which I did since I was 18, I just got told by gay and straight people that "I was just gay and in denial"

    I think its nonsense, Im gay-preference, but I definitely have bi-tendencies.. lots of people do, even straight people, to think its all black or white is nonsense, btu yeah, we get told to pick a side
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:44 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie saidthat they don't want to stand under their own banner of bisexual?

    They either want to stand under the straight one, and then or the gay one.

    Why do they not support their own community, and not want to stand under their own banner?

    Remember bi is neither gay or straight.


    Well cos there's probably not enough of them out there to form a community. I think you're being harsh on bisexuals, as if you want to kick them out or something. Idealistically speaking, there shouldn't be a gay or straight or bi community at all because we should be living in a unified world and labelling encourages separation.
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:48 PM GMT
    You know all of these little stereotypes show how ignorant people can really be. And this is coming from a group of people who are all about being accepted everywhere they're at. Time and time again, I always hear this crap about bisexual and then the name-calling and stereotypes begin. It's our lives and we can live however we want. With all due respect, who are you to judge us? You don't know all bisexual people.
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:51 PM GMT
    I have a better question why do gay guys hate bi-sex people some gay guys not all
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    Nov 14, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    mnboy saidI use to identify as primarily straight because I really had no intention of supporting a community that doesn't accept me (the gay one that is).
    The straight community is far more accepting than the gay community. Or I should say those who think they are the gay community. I only ever have a problem with being bi when I goto the club or another 'gay' location. In the GLBT centers and advocacy groups no one cares. Im just another soul for the cause.
    Also, only ever been 'hated' on for being bi by gay men.
    I really can't hold it against a bisexual person for not wanting to stand behind a community that won't even stand behind them. Just look at the threads on here. If people are talking about sexuality it is always wither gay or straight. God forbid someone be bisexual.

    My experience exactly.
    I was openly bisexual in the mid80s and received a lot of grief - from the gay community - not heterosexuals.

    Back then bisexuality really seemed to infuriate gays.

    I identify as "gay" now for the sake of my partner.

    (He does not need to be reminded i might also be looking at women - he cannot "compete" with that. Just as when I was married I uid not want my wife constantly reminded I notice hot men too.


    There are unwritten rules for bisexuals in relationships:

    In a store you never pick a line with an attractive person of the opposite sex to your partner. You learn to avert your eyes and you become very attuned to your partner's body language regarding people around us.
    You cut off friendships that seem too close for your partner's comfort.


    It is very wearying.

    I wrote out a list once before I got married and i think I had something like 8 rules I thought I should be willing to live by before i asked her to marry me - and we discussed my sexuality very openly.

    My rules served me well too. We were very happily married for 14 years before a catastrophic health and life change.


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    Nov 14, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    Vladimir01 saidI have a better question why do gay guys hate bi-sex people some gay guys not all


    No no- don't be silly. It's only "Pattison." Bisexual men are huge in hook-up community. The only problem that arises when dating a bisexual man is the, "how long until you get bored of men and decide to move back onto women?"
    Even though the sex dies out in most relationships anyways. Just enjoy the time you have with any of your partners. Don't stress. icon_wink.gif
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Nov 15, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
    With regards to sexual orientation I prefer "nondenominational" myself.
    Seriously, couldn't give a fuck. (Okay I can, but only 'cause I'm a carer.)

    As for your observation, this comes from... where? And why should bisexuals make an nth group with whom they solely associate? Why don't bottoms and tops have separate communities and stand under their own banner? And people who are 1/8, 1/4, 1/2, and full race-x too?
    This thread is lame. icon_neutral.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    I think bisexual folks just like getting off, but, I'm pretty sure that they must have a jerk off preference.

    Now, I understand, Gay, Lesbian, Bi, but, how the gender confusion thing gets thrown in with sexual preference, the "T", I've yet to figure out. To me, what you identify as gender-wise seems completely different to what your sexual preference is.

    I like guys, I jerk off to guys, big buff guys make me feel funny between my legs, but, I like my dick, and love being a guy, doing guy things, farting, etc. I used to say I was "bi" but honestly, I've always jerked off to guys, and been turned on by guys, and when you're honest, that's gay.

    The quirks with gender identity, some folks have suggested to me, may well be a manifestation of anxiety disorder. I don't know what to think. I sure like my dick.

    I don't mind getting off with a chick, and like LIKE tits: they're fun, but, I'm much more turned on by a hot guy, who acts like a guy. Maybe that is bi? I don't know. I can show a chick a good time, but, I'd rather be with a guy.

    I think that, for many of us, it's not black and white, and, science seems to support that view.
  • daydreamer85

    Posts: 80

    Nov 15, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    I have no issues with bisexuals. I would date one if the opportunity presented itself, however, I think the fear of losing my guy to a chick scares the living the daylights of me... I know someone who I cherish to have experienced that.
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:25 AM GMT
    neosyllogy said
    This thread is lame.


    Hey! icon_evil.gif
    This thread instantly became 0.000001% times less lame ever since I've posted in it!

    I knew I should have gone with a random hot bisexual guy instead. icon_cry.gif

    simplydario saidI have no issues with bisexuals. I would date one if the opportunity presented itself, however, I think the fear of losing my guy to a chick scares the living the daylights of me... I know someone who I cherish to have experienced that.


    See... I'm totally right.

    And awesome- let's not forget that. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:28 AM GMT
    Many "bi" guys I know are a LOT less drama, and they don't seem to seek validation like a gay guy. They are very comfortable in their choices.

    I think it would be hard to build an enduring relationship with a "bi" guy, but, like some folks have said here, you identify as "gay" to accommodate the person you want to be with.

    If some chick throws her tits in my face (we have a friend that does that every time we see her), I get turned on, but, I don't want a relationship with her.

    I know a number of folks who identify as "swingers" and they aren't uptight like gay folks. They like sex, and make no qualms about it.
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:30 AM GMT
    Midas426 saidThey probably don't want to deal with the "PICK A SIDE ALREADY!!!" debates.


    Yup. This.
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Nov 15, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    chuckystud saidMany "bi" guys I know are a LOT less drama, and they don't seem to seek validation like a gay guy. They are very comfortable in their choices.

    I think it would be hard to build an enduring relationship with a "bi" guy, but, like some folks have said here, you identify as "gay" to accommodate the person you want to be with.

    If some chick throws her tits in my face (we have a friend that does that every time we see her), I get turned on, but, I don't want a relationship with her.

    I know a number of folks who identify as "swingers" and they aren't uptight like gay folks. They like sex, and make no qualms about it.

    I kind of agree with this. I think it's the actual label that makes people so uptight.

    I use the label of gay, but only because people (straights, Republicans...etc)need to be educated about sexuality. But, I'm not hung up on the label. I am what I am and don't give a fu@k what others think about it. I find women attractive, but can't see myself in a relationship with one.
  • Eric_the_Red

    Posts: 21

    Nov 15, 2010 12:53 AM GMT
    I would say that the simplest answer is that while both the gay and straight give a definitive picture of a persons sexual identity the bisexual label doesn't. Truly there is a continuum and most people could be identified as bisexual from either their sexual experiences or just their fantasy/thoughts they have yet to act on but they identify as either gay or straight to be part of the communities.

    Most bisexual people are far less concerned about labels and don't frequency use them because they tell little about themselves and often lead to more confusion and misconceptions (I blame porn). Being bisexual doesn't mean you are equally attached to men and women. It especially does not means you need sexual relationships with both men and women to be happy.

    So bisexuals not fitting in these boxes scares other people because they really don't exactly know how to place you and they actually have to get to know you first. But I ask, "Is that really a bad thing?"


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    Nov 15, 2010 1:18 AM GMT
    Eric_the_Red saidI would say that the simplest answer is that while both the gay and straight give a definitive picture of a persons sexual identity the bisexual label doesn't. Truly there is a continuum and most people could be identified as bisexual from either their sexual experiences or just their fantasy/thoughts they have yet to act on but they identify as either gay or straight to be part of the communities.

    Most bisexual people are far less concerned about labels and don't frequency use them because they tell little about themselves and often lead to more confusion and misconceptions (I blame porn). Being bisexual doesn't mean you are equally attached to men and women. It especially does not means you need sexual relationships with both men and women to be happy.

    So bisexuals not fitting in these boxes scares other people because they really don't exactly know how to place you and they actually have to get to know you first. But I ask, "Is that really a bad thing?"



    ^You nailed it!!!
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Nov 15, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    Eric_the_Red saidI would say that the simplest answer is that while both the gay and straight give a definitive picture of a persons sexual identity the bisexual label doesn't. Truly there is a continuum and most people could be identified as bisexual from either their sexual experiences or just their fantasy/thoughts they have yet to act on but they identify as either gay or straight to be part of the communities.

    Most bisexual people are far less concerned about labels and don't frequency use them because they tell little about themselves and often lead to more confusion and misconceptions (I blame porn). Being bisexual doesn't mean you are equally attached to men and women. It especially does not means you need sexual relationships with both men and women to be happy.

    So bisexuals not fitting in these boxes scares other people because they really don't exactly know how to place you and they actually have to get to know you first. But I ask, "Is that really a bad thing?"



    Very well said.
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    Nov 15, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    I was wondering do bi-sexual men who sleep with women really sexually attracted to women or is it a just a physchological thing to them so they wont appear to be completely gay
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    Nov 15, 2010 1:28 AM GMT


    You can't help who you are attracted too. If your gay, your gay. If your straight your straight.