Am I Subconsciously Bi or is This Normal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2010 6:54 AM GMT
    Something very strange happens every time I get drunk (which is only about once a month nowadays): I want to make out with girls; I want to cuddle with them; I want to feel them up. No hetero. And even stranger, I do NOT have any desire to make out with or fool around with guys when I'm drunk.

    Now when I'm sober, even thinking about kissing a girl makes me want to hurl. And I can't imagine not being attracted to guys. But when I'm drunk, it's like I'm in an alternate universe or something. And my girl friends always say, "Mikey, you're gay when you're sober, straight when you're drunk." Which is almost enough to make one give up alcohol.

    What makes me wonder about everything is that my gay friends all tell me they DON'T desire girls when they're drunk--- and they can't figure it out. So I thought maybe I might find someone on here who shares my strange... drunken transformation. Or is this normal, and my friends are just lying because they're embarrassed that the same thing happens to them?
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:09 PM GMT
    I was like that too when I was your age...I think who you desire to be with is dynamic, but the real question, as correctly pointed out here many times, is what do you jack to...that will give you the strongest clue to who you are.

    At least at that moment..icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:15 PM GMT
    Bi-Now, Gay Later... Lately I have been watching breeder porn, and I don't know why, and I don't drink. icon_question.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_question.gif

    I wouldn't be bothered by this. I think when people get drunk they just do certain things that may or may not be normal... and that makes life more interesting!

    If you're bi you're bi, whatever floats your boat and as long as you are comfortable with it and happy, well you have best of both world. One, girls would not feel threatened because you are "assumed" to be gay, and guys, well you know guys icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 12:30 PM GMT
    What peanut said...

    If I'm drunk I would be groping everyone oneicon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 1:18 PM GMT
    I don't share in your 'transformation' because I don't get drunk but I think it's just bi-curiosity to be honest. I have my bi-curious moments and have sometimes wondered what it would be like to 'taste the forbidden fruit' that is the female specimen. I don't think it makes you any less gay; some will say it does but I think it's just human to be curious. And like moscowmikey said, what arouses you the most in a non-physical manner? Do you get aroused talking to a man? When a man looks at you, knowing that he finds you attractive? Seeing your handsome, hot date for the first time even though nothing so much as a handshake or hug has been exchanged?
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    Nov 15, 2010 1:26 PM GMT
    I know a straight guy who shows disgust at what gay guys do in bed, but when he's drunk, he's pretty open to sex (oral & a hand job) with another guy. My guess is that alcohol may have different effects on different people, making some of them do things they wouldn't normally do. Some guys will have BB sex when they're drunk, something they would not even contemplate while sober. Some gay guys will get turned on by girls when they're drunk.... need I go on? Lay off the alcohol!
  • DCEric

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    Nov 15, 2010 1:57 PM GMT
    As long as you aren't getting slapped in your attempt to go after girls, don't worry to much about it. Just try not to become a father.
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    Nov 15, 2010 2:14 PM GMT


    Typical Dr. Jekyll and Mister Hyde syndrome...
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    Nov 15, 2010 2:31 PM GMT
    Your still quite young so the hormones are raging and reactions are skewed by alcohol, people do and say a lot when their "booze" is doing the "talking". I'd say don't be particularly concerned about your sexuality overall. but for sure, drink moderately, there's really no need to drink till your drunk. Being drunk just leads to trouble for everyone and is not good for your health and overall wellbeing.
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    Nov 15, 2010 2:41 PM GMT
    To the OP, what does your penis do when you're tipsy and kissing a girl? It's a good indicator of whether you're sexually attracted or not to women.

    -Doug
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Nov 15, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    People cleave so strongly to group identities.
    My ex-bf (still a good friend) was somewhat similar. After lots of chiding he confessed a confused, secret curiosity and attraction to women. The funny thing was it was seriously difficult for him. Both because he felt like it made him a traitor and because he just found the idea revolting. icon_rolleyes.gif
    To answer your question, honestly, I think it's both. You're probably at least a bit bi and that's normal. I think the 'pussy revulsion' that a lot of gay guys talk about is something they've just affected so much that they've begun to internalize.
    If you like guys, you like guys, great. There's really no reason that it should translate into disliking girls. I think the gay doth protest too much. ;)
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    Nov 15, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    neosyllogy saidPeople cleave so strongly to group identities.
    My ex-bf (still a good friend) was somewhat similar. After lots of chiding he confessed a confused, secret curiosity and attraction to women. The funny thing was it was seriously difficult for him. Both because he felt like it made him a traitor and because he just found the idea revolting. icon_rolleyes.gif
    To answer your question, honestly, I think it's both. You're probably at least a bit bi and that's normal. I think the 'pussy revulsion' that a lot of gay guys talk about is something they've just affected so much that they've begun to internalize.
    If you like guy, you like guys, great. There's really no reason that it should translate into disliking girls. I think the gay doth protest too much. ;)


    Very well stated!

    I don't find women overly revolting or anything like that in sexual terms; I'm just more apathetic about it. If I were to see a naked woman on TV, I'd be like: 'Hmmm. At least she has firm breasts!' icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    run_mikey_run said.. I want to make out with girls; I want to cuddle with them; I want to feel them up. No hetero.
    Sorry but that part made me LOL! icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 3:08 PM GMT
    "I think the 'pussy revulsion' that a lot of gay guys talk about is something they've just affected so much that they've begun to internalize.
    If you like guy, you like guys, great. There's really no reason that it should translate into disliking girls. I think the gay doth protest too much. ;)"


    Interesting post neosyllogy, although in my own experience many straight men are turned off by penises. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Nov 15, 2010 3:13 PM GMT
    meninlove said "I think the 'pussy revulsion' that a lot of gay guys talk about is something they've just affected so much that they've begun to internalize.
    If you like guy, you like guys, great. There's really no reason that it should translate into disliking girls. I think the gay doth protest too much. ;)"


    Interesting post neosyllogy, although in my own experience many straight men are turned off by penises. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    Yeah, honestly, I think it's the same thing. And, anecdotally, many have notice the trend that those that seem most secure in their heterosexuality are the least bothered by gay/male sexual imagery and ideas. (There's actually a great [read: hilarious] study on this, but I think it's a bit flawed so I won't post it.)
    Also, guys can't be too turned off by all that is male-associated sexual imagery without having some serious self-esteem issues. ;)
    1087535149_PNScU-L.jpg
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    Nov 15, 2010 5:06 PM GMT
    Original poster, you're making it too complicated. We all have an underlying desire to be held, etc.

    When you're uninhibited by drugs (in this case alcohol) all that surfaces.

    For you, the drinking is probably a bad choice.

    As your brain matures, and you grow older, this will almost certainly fix itself.

    There may well be more going on there, or not, but, unless you spend money on a pro, and really dig into it, you won't know for sure.

    It could be suppressing any sexual inclination towards woman when your sober because you wish to identify as gay, and, in fact, aren't.

    The best solution for you may be not to abuse alcohol if your sexual inclinations are bothering you.

    The saying goes, if you don't like something, then, change it.

    Just FYI, with most folks, it's the other way. They get more interested in same-sex encounters once they removed the inhibitions.

    There's a saying for that, too: the only difference between bi and gay is a six pack and a dirt road, and most times you don't need the dirt road.

    Many of us are attracted to either sex from time to time. That's the norm.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Nov 15, 2010 5:13 PM GMT
    I only screwed women for 30 years and was always checking out guys during that time. Now that I play with men I find myself checking out women.

    I think part of it is the forbidden fruit syndrome - you want what you can't have.

    I have fantasies about men and women when I jack off - so I don't think it's always a good indicator. Just keep an open mind and keep aware of what you are thinking and feeling in all situations. If you find yourself wanting women don't wait 30 years to try it.
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    Nov 15, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    LanceKC said I think part of it is the forbidden fruit syndrome - you want what you can't have.

    Just keep an open mind and keep aware of what you are thinking and feeling in all situations. If you find yourself wanting women don't wait 30 years to try it.


    I was bi during high school and college, then jumped into the straight zone. Now back into the gay area with an open mind with the right women. So like LanceKC said, try it with the ladies. BTW, there's no rule you can't be bi. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 15, 2010 6:04 PM GMT
    As a pure homosexual, I can tell you I have never had any desire to do anything with a women, drunk or sober. I find anything below their neck repugnant 24/7. Vagina's are nothing more than a dripping, smelling mucus membrane; yuk.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Nov 15, 2010 6:13 PM GMT
    Sexuality is not black and white. It's very fluid. So, there is nothing wrong w/ wanting to make out w/ women. It's doesn't mean you're bi nor straight nor gay. It means, you just want to make out w/ women.

    It's no big deal.
  • JonPk

    Posts: 132

    Nov 15, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]run_mikey_run said[/cite]Something very strange happens every time I get drunk (which is only about once a month nowadays): I want to make out with girls; I want to cuddle with them; I want to feel them up. No hetero. And even stranger, I do NOT have any desire to make out with or fool around with guys when I'm drunk.

    Now when I'm sober, even thinking about kissing a girl makes me want to hurl. And I can't imagine not being attracted to guys. But when I'm drunk, it's like I'm in an alternate universe or something. And my girl friends always say, "Mikey, you're gay when you're sober, straight when you're drunk." Which is almost enough to make one give up alcohol.

    What makes me wonder about everything is that my gay friends all tell me they DON'T
    desire girls when they're drunk--- and they can't figure it out. So I thought maybe I might find someone on here who shares my strange... drunken transformation. Or is this normal, and my friends are just lying because they're embarrassed that the same thing happens to them?[/

    Have you ever thought that you might not really be gay? All that alcohol really does is bring down inhibitions we may have. It doesn't create emotions or feelings that aren't already there.
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    Nov 15, 2010 10:02 PM GMT
    SoDakGuy saidSexuality is not black and white. It's very fluid. So, there is nothing wrong w/ wanting to make out w/ women. It's doesn't mean you're bi nor straight nor gay. It means, you just want to make out w/ women.

    It's no big deal.


    EXACTLY.
    I wouldnt worry about it. Just dont get her preggers.
    Ive slept with girls before, and as long as theyre clean down there, we're good, lol!
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    Nov 15, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    True_blue_aussie saidAs a pure homosexual, I can tell you I have never had any desire to do anything with a women, drunk or sober. I find anything below their neck repugnant 24/7. Vagina's are nothing more than a dripping, smelling mucus membrane; yuk.



    Gee, doesn't that just make you want to stick your face down there. LOL
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    Nov 16, 2010 6:57 AM GMT
    hector2009 said
    True_blue_aussie saidAs a pure homosexual, I can tell you I have never had any desire to do anything with a women, drunk or sober. I find anything below their neck repugnant 24/7. Vagina's are nothing more than a dripping, smelling mucus membrane; yuk.



    Gee, doesn't that just make you want to stick your face down there. LOL


    OMG matey that would be like making love to an onion, as it would bring tears to my eyes; pure torture..........
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 6:59 AM GMT
    SoDakGuy saidSexuality is not black and white. It's very fluid. So, there is nothing wrong w/ wanting to make out w/ women. It's doesn't mean you're bi nor straight nor gay. It means, you just want to make out w/ women.

    It's no big deal.


    Are you serious, if you only make out with a women, you are straight! if you have made out with both you are a bisexual, no matter if you enjoyed one more than the other, and if you only have sex with a gender the same as you, then you are a homosexual, it really is as simple as that.