Anyone into the husband-wife dynamic?

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    Nov 16, 2010 6:29 AM GMT
    I know that to assume there is a husband and a wife in a same sex relationship is ignorant and, in reality, in most such relationships there are only husband and husband. But I still wonder if there is anyone who actually like such a role division? I, for one, like to think of a partner as a wife and find it highly eroticicon_razz.gif. It's a turn-on for me both emotionally and physically. Maybe it's because it emphasizes the tender and feminine side of a guy, which I find attractive. Am I alone in this??icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 16, 2010 5:49 PM GMT
    For me thats a role the dyke's love to play in their relationships. How many time do you see one butch dyke with a lipstick wearing one Like Ellen for one, and Chastity Bono for another.

    Gotta say, I am into men myself, and enjoy being one too. So we are two males together, neither of us play a female role, if I wanted a women in bed I would date one.
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    Nov 16, 2010 7:17 PM GMT
    What exactly the husband/wife dynamic?

    It sounds like there is some profound confusion with respect to gender and sex.
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    Nov 16, 2010 10:29 PM GMT
    No.
    Bad troll. Bad.
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    Nov 16, 2010 10:32 PM GMT
    I know what you mean and I've seen all kinds, believe me a lot of variations exist and every relationship is different weather gay or straight
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    Nov 16, 2010 10:34 PM GMT
    Well I have the sweetest most talented BF I can imagine.He is masculine but can cook amazingly,sew knit do all kinds of household repairs (paint,build things etc) he is a wonderful artist as well.So its like putting a wife and husband in a food processor and pressing mix.I love him like crazy.
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    Nov 16, 2010 11:21 PM GMT
    A1EX saidNo.
    Bad troll. Bad.


    lol A1EX you're such a funny guy!
  • misternick

    Posts: 234

    Nov 16, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    I think I understand what WickedRyan is saying. Part of the reason I love my boyfriend is because he's the best husband I could imagine and the best wife I could imagine all rolled in to one.

    It's pretty funny when it's blatantly one or the other, though =)

    But Mandela makes a good point. When there's a dynamic that many of us were raised watching, there must be a tendency to apply or overlay it to our own lives.

    If you want to think about it in a potentially icky way, there's probably a good argument for some sort of Oedipal influence...
  • Regina_Guy

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    Nov 16, 2010 11:37 PM GMT
    I guess we really have society to blame for assigning gender roles. That being said, I guess I typically take care most of the household tasks, such as shopping, cleaning and cooking. I do this because it's what I'm good at and comfortable with. If I was better at fixing things, taking care of the finances, and so on, then I would do those tasks.

    I guess that is one of the reasons why we compliment each other so well, it has nothing to do with assigning roles to our relationship.
  • JESIE

    Posts: 1616

    Nov 17, 2010 12:00 AM GMT
    When I talk to guys its more of a caring nurturing side. Perhaps because I grew up with strong women who, even in odds against them and their husbands, stood side and were there for them.
    I am naturally a nurturer. I like to care for my friends, and if I date my man. I like to do cook to show my affection. I clean because growing up with my mom she made her children clean. I iron my clothes and my friends clothes sometimes when we go out. I make sure if my friend stays over he takes the bed or I prepare a place for him to sleep. I naturally take the "woman" duties because its what I know to show affection. I have even been called "wifey material" LOL
    But I am still a man.I think it may have to do much more with how some one is brought up and who society views as masc/husband and fem/wifey characteristics
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    Nov 17, 2010 12:09 AM GMT
    MandelaMancha saidI know that to assume there is a husband and a wife in a same sex relationship is ignorant and, in reality, in most such relationships there are only husband and husband. But I still wonder if there is anyone who actually like such a role division? I, for one, like to think of a partner as a wife and find it highly eroticicon_razz.gif. It's a turn-on for me both emotionally and physically. Maybe it's because it emphasizes the tender and feminine side of a guy, which I find attractive. Am I alone in this??icon_rolleyes.gif


    I don't think you're alone. There are some gay gays that are pretty feminine so maybe that's what you're searching for? I think MOST guys wouldn't want to take on the "wife" role but I'm sure there are some that would. It's all good.
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    Nov 17, 2010 12:30 AM GMT
    I know that I'm the "wife" in my relationships. I'm good with that. lol
  • hyperionx

    Posts: 232

    Nov 17, 2010 12:35 AM GMT
    PrinceOfArya saidI know what you mean and I've seen all kinds, believe me a lot of variations exist and every relationship is different weather gay or straight


    Bravo!
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    Nov 17, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    MandelaMancha said I, for one, like to think of a partner as a wife and find it highly eroticicon_razz.gif. It's a turn-on for me both emotionally and physically. Maybe it's because it emphasizes the tender and feminine side of a guy, which I find attractive. Am I alone in this??icon_rolleyes.gif


    I get what you're saying and I totally relate. I've dated both masculine and effeminate guys, and I have to admit that I actually prefer guys who are slightly effeminate (not ones that are total queens though and who make me feel like I'm having sex with a girl). I think it's because I like being the one who "takes care" of the other guy emotionally, physically, financially, etc.
    But that probably stems from the fact that even when I was a child, I was forced to be the "pseudo-parent" and take care of my younger brother after my parents' divorce and my mom's severe depression.
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    Nov 17, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    say no to the heteronormative gender dichotomy application to same sex couples.....
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    Nov 17, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    Regina_Guy saidI guess we really have society to blame for assigning gender roles. That being said, I guess I typically take care most of the household tasks, such as shopping, cleaning and cooking. I do this because it's what I'm good at and comfortable with. If I was better at fixing things, taking care of the finances, and so on, then I would do those tasks.

    I guess that is one of the reasons why we compliment each other so well, it has nothing to do with assigning roles to our relationship.


    Regina makes a good point, and would rather model role based on what I am good at versus what my partner is good at in terms of a weakness or strength and coming together in agreement - and were I can concede that I am not good at something without feeling vulnerable or not good enough at something in view that my partner is loving and understanding and loves to take this role which I am weak and he is strong, and vice versa. Hoping one day I find this.icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 17, 2010 2:33 AM GMT
    PrinceOfArya saidI know what you mean and I've seen all kinds, believe me a lot of variations exist and every relationship is different whether gay or straight



    Quoted for truth.
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    Nov 17, 2010 2:56 AM GMT
    I remember the time when I was asked about a relationship I was in: "Who is the Mary and who is the Joseph?"

    It took me a while to work it out because I don't normally see a husband/wife role in a gay relationship - I prefer both to be equal which today is how a heterosexual relationship "tries" to emulate.

    So, no I'm not into this dynamic.

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    Nov 17, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    PrinceOfArya saidI know what you mean and I've seen all kinds, believe me a lot of variations exist and every relationship is different weather gay or straight


    and
    change over time and circumstances.
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    Nov 17, 2010 6:30 AM GMT
    Guys, I expected this to be a bit of a controversy and bringing up this topic may seem politically incorrect. But I have to be honest to myself. I have respect for the truth rather than political correctness. I seem to be the minority among gay men who happen to be attracted to the feminine side of a man and like to think of him as the "woman" in the relationship. Of course there are all kinds of relationship dynamics. This is just how it works for me. However, it bothers me sometimes when others make simplistic assumption that since I find femininity in guys hot I must be really attracted to chicks when in fact I'm not in the least.
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    Nov 17, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    superdancerboy saidI know that I'm the "wife" in my relationships. I'm good with that. lol


    me like it!