Accentuate the...NEGATIVE??? WHAAA???

  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Nov 16, 2010 10:22 AM GMT
    Being single in the city is hard...especially when you're not really the type to go to a bar and meet people. Because of this I'm forced to resort to the online dating world which has been quite a useful tool. At any time one could meet a new friend, a potential date or even spark a relationship should an appropriate online connection be made. Still, just like in the 'real world', the online world is fraught with dangers: fake profiles, exaggerated stats, even outright rude behaviour being just a couple of examples. I've also recently been victim to a new phenomenon that has apparantly been rearing it's ugly head in both the online and the live-action world. It's a flirting practice called "a neg" and it leaves me questioning, "WHO THE HELL DOES THIS????!!!!!". Having recently been victime to it I have to say it had me so utterly annoyed I'm still reeling. Let me explain.

    Early one morning before making my trek to the gym I got an email message from a young man on one of those dating websites. Before opening the email I checked his profile. Not really my type and I noticed he was living overseas but regardless, I always try to respond to the first message as you would in the real world. It's just manners. My own page has my headshots and various candid pictures of me enjoying the city or travelling. After checking out his profile I opened the email he sent. Well, this young man from way over on the other side of the world wanted me to know his opinion of the photos currently residing on my own profile. He wrote...

    ---- FROM keshas Nov 03, 2010 at 5:47 AM
    you very is ugly!


    *** What the???? S'cuz me?!!! I blinked and made sure I read this right. No 'hello', no 'how are you doing?'...just...that. Normally I would just hit delete or send a scathing reply but I was feeling a little cheeky and quite annoyed at his audacity. Oh hell, i'll say it...IT PISSED ME OFF!!! I needed to double check this...

    ---- FROM Broadwy Nov 04, 2010 at 6:06 AM
    I'm sorry? I don't follow...Are trying to say, "You are very ugly"?

    ----FROM keshas Nov 05, 2010 at 2:56 AM
    yes! you very ugly! :d


    Hmmm...clearly we're dealing with a master of conversation. Fine. You wanna' be a dick...I can play that game!!! I decided to respond with the "kill 'em with kindness (and a little humour)" philosophy. . .

    ---- FROM Broadwy Nov 05, 2010 at 7:14 PM
    Oh dear. I am so sorry my looks have offended your sensitive and precious eyes. Do you think I should make an appointment with a plastic surgeon to rectify the situation? Perhaps you could shed some light on what you would deem most appropriate? I could take your suggestions to said plastic surgeon (do you happen to know of any I could rush to with your concerns?) and consult with him to see if we could come up with something that would be more to your liking. It'd be a shame to go the rest of my life with looks that you would deem too painful to even gaze at.
    I await your response with baited breath.
    Gratefully yours,
    M.


    Now I thought this would be the end of it. Surely he would get the jist of my meaning. Alas, t'was not to be. He retorted with...

    ---- FROM keshas Nov 05, 2010 at 5:12 AM
    or that! hairstyle you now?


    *sigh*...okay. Looks like we continue on...

    ---- FROM Broadwy Nov 07, 2010 at 8:44 AM
    Dear friend:
    I apologize for my lateness in getting back to you. I was in the midst of seeking out various sources and procedures other than plastic surgery that might help in the battle zone that is, in your estimation, my appearance. I had not seen you had written back until just a little while ago.
    I must admit that I can be somewhat on the slow side and that is very clear right now as I am a little confused by what you wrote. Is it now my hairstyle you wish me to change as well as my face . . . or perhaps you think that my hair style is passable but it's just my face that needs the alterations . . . or maybe you are trying to tell me, in your own way that you have a general dislike for everything. I apologize once more but I will need your clarification on this point.
    I see by your profile picture that you drive a big car. Is that because you are, as the stats in your profile state, 8 feet tall? And wow!!! I sure wish I had your ability to keep my weight down. I can't imagine how a man who is 8 feet tall, with a 38 inch waist and 40 inch chest could possibly weigh only 90pounds!!! You must have an amazing metabolism and spend your life at the gym. I wish I had your dedication.
    I hope to hear from you shortly in regards to your suggestions above. A speedy response is appreciated and I will be sure to rectify any issues you may be having at my earliest convenience.
    Yours in health!
    M.

    ---- FROM keshas Nov 07, 2010 at 11:05 PM
    what you to ask?
    ---- FROM keshas Nov 07, 2010 at 11:14 PM
    i asked? name hairstyle of you!

    ---- FROM Broadwy Nov 08, 2010 at 5:01 PM
    My friend:
    In reference to your question as to the name of my hairstyle -- I'm afraid there is no such thing. As I previously mentioned, I am a bit on the slow side and was under the impression that most people went about life without naming the style of hair atop their head. Curious. Would you want to name it for me?
    Also, I await your recommendations for the plastic surgeon.
    Your trusting friend,
    M.

    ---- FROM keshas Nov 08, 2010 at 12:41 AM
    hehehe hahahahahaha
    ---- FROM keshas Nov 09, 2010 at 3:32 AM
    hairstyle beautiful that! i have to say? the barber to have his hairstyle like?

    ---- FROM Broadwy Nov 09, 2010 at 9:20 PM
    Dear friend:
    I do so enjoy our conversations. I'm always amazed by the insight you seem to have and look forward to your emails. Not only are you an authority on appearance and language, but your tenacious grasp of the entire concept of conversation dwarfs any other I've ever encountered. So succinct and to the point are your responses!
    No, my barber does not have the same hairstyle as me. As a matter of fact, I don't see a barber at all but actually visit a dog grooming salon once every two weeks wherein the junior groomer takes it upon herself to squeeze me in between any given appointments. Last week I was put between a chihuahua and a mastiff and let me tell you, insanity ensued. With the three of us up on the table at the same time it was quite an effort to stay calm. The mastiff tried to eat the chihuahua while the chihuahua was trying to hump my leg and here I was trying to keep both animals at bay. I only wish I had had the insight to bring my camera.
    Back to the issue at hand, you'll be pleased to know that I have booked an appointment with a local surgeon in regards to altering my appearance as you previously suggested. As I have yet to hear your suggestions on the matter I believe I'll let the surgeon give me his. I'll keep you posted on his thoughts.
    Yours with respect,
    M.

    ---- FROM keshas Nov 10, 2010 at 3:00 AM
    hello boy! send email for me ok! ms_*****@*******.com
    ---- FROM keshas Nov 10, 2010 at 3:39 AM
    oh my god,,,,or that
    ---- FROM keshas Nov 10, 2010 at 3:40 AM
    you with me not like...
    ---- FROM keshas Nov 10, 2010 at 5:10 AM
    i is msbun,what you name? ,,, you very beautiful,that true! that is truth!


    Wait. What the eff??? First he tells me I'm ugly and then he turns around and tells me I'm "beautiful"?!!! This whole thi
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 10:36 AM GMT
    Huh?!? So the whole point of this is to be insulting- as negative as possible and then turn around and pay the person a compliment... and this is now considered flirting??? Please, please tell me that this is restricted to the "online" world and that I am not in danger of running across people doing this on the street. I don't "get" people at the best of times. This one makes me want to throw in the towel.
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    Nov 16, 2010 11:59 AM GMT
    What the smurf?! Its even more hilarious that you gave him such a lengthy reply with his one sentence answers....

    I would never have tolerated such weirdness....icon_mad.gif

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    Nov 16, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    Heheh just one more fake profile and a stupid guy hehe i think you are so hot my friend
  • Gaymer

    Posts: 111

    Nov 16, 2010 1:03 PM GMT
    *SIGH*

    Do NOT feed the trolls!!!

    That is all
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Nov 16, 2010 1:31 PM GMT
    West77:
    That's exactly the way I feel. It seems so counter-productive. And it's hard enough to get out there to meet people for someone like me...this just makes me want to retreat even farther.
    Sad to say, this is not just on online thing. It actually originated by straight men in bars believe it or not. And there's a high success rate if I believe what I'm told. Personally, if someone did this to me in person I'd just be ticked off!
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    Nov 16, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    I have heard of this as a tactic for guys to 'break the ice' with girls. It's very school yard at recess, when little boys and girls kick one another because they don't know how to express their feelings with appropriate words and body language.

    But the tactic remains: diss a girl to get her attention, then counter charm her and stress the "humor" of the original diss. Apparently it works rather well on drunk women.

    Not surprised gay men are beginning to use it. I suppose there's always going to be someone foolish enough to fall for it.
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Nov 16, 2010 1:44 PM GMT
    Runinthecity:
    Just call me the fool. *sigh*
  • Matia79

    Posts: 215

    Nov 16, 2010 1:46 PM GMT
    This was the remainder of my post. I just realized it didn't all transfer through so I'm posting it now. Sorry guys...


    Wait. What the eff??? First he tells me I'm ugly and then he turns around and tells me I'm "beautiful"?!!! This whole thing was a come-on?!!! I'll admit, I was having a BALL playing with this idiot . . . but then to find out it was all a come on . . . this just hit another nerve. So I took the story to a good friend of mine who has been on both the live-action and online scene for quite some time. He took it on himself to educated me on the practice of the "neg". The theory is that you shoot an insult to someone to throw them completely off guard. When they're reeling from the insult you strike up a totally different conversation and they'll be more likely to converse once you've lowered their guard.
    "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Does this actually work?" I asked completely shocked.
    "Think about it. Did you respond?" he retorted.
    ***
    "DAMMIT!!!!"



  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Nov 16, 2010 1:53 PM GMT
    sounds like an episode of how i met your mother where neil patrick harris is inventing a new dating trend. its stupid but it works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 1:59 PM GMT
    By the sound of it this person barely speaks English. Who knows if he even knows what he's typing. I wouldn't waste your time.
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    Nov 16, 2010 2:06 PM GMT
    I fail to see how anyone could say 'you very is ugly' which in English would most likely mean, 'you are very ugly' since you aren't ugly.
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    Nov 16, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    I wouldn't waste my time either, but your replies were hilarious!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 2:16 PM GMT
    Mmmm! Sounds like my ex-wife! Dumb as a doornail!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 2:47 PM GMT
    This guy wouldn't happen to be Borat? I love your responses.icon_lol.gif
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    Nov 16, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    Lol he called u ugly
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    Nov 16, 2010 4:36 PM GMT
    I think the guy just doesn't know good English.

    But the back-handed compliment was popularized by this guy.

    Mystery.png

    He had an MTV show called the Pickup Artist. And is my friend's hero.
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    Nov 16, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    Matia79, you are very funny! I loved reading your replies, it was like reading a great story.... Hysterical! The on-line world is just as weird as the real one! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 16, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    Matia79 said
    "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Does this actually work?" I asked completely shocked.
    "Think about it. Did you respond?" he retorted.
    ***
    "DAMMIT!!!!"

    You may have responded.... but have you continued the conversation... would you? Is this somebody who has managed to pique your curiosity and whom you would wish to meet?

    I have no doubt that this "strategy" originated with the same brain dead ass who came up with the theory of "treat them bad and they will love you." The idea behind that was that if you show somebody respect, they will not throw themselves at you where as if you ignore them and treat them like dirt they will work that much harder to get your attention and make you love them.

    I think this new way of flirting would rely on your "target" having a very low self esteem or being easily knocked off guard. I have to admit that it would be interesting to see this "strategy" put into action in the gay community. I am not positive that it is transferable from a guy hitting on a girl in a bar to a guy hitting on a guy. Where a lady is less likely to escalate it to a physical confrontation with a man I would think that it might be responsible for a few fights.

    "Hey, Bob, how did you get the black eye and bloody lip"
    Bob: "I was flirting again..."icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 16, 2010 7:48 PM GMT
    Matia79 said
    No, my barber does not have the same hairstyle as me. As a matter of fact, I don't see a barber at all but actually visit a dog grooming salon once every two weeks wherein the junior groomer takes it upon herself to squeeze me in between any given appointments. Last week I was put between a chihuahua and a mastiff and let me tell you, insanity ensued.


    LOL.
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    Nov 16, 2010 8:45 PM GMT
    Oh wonderful, now some weirdos are using insults and negativity as a masochistic fetish. icon_rolleyes.gif
    Has it really come down to this now?
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    Nov 16, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    Troll20Face20-20successful20troll20.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2010 9:33 PM GMT
    Your responses were great! At least you were able to take a bizarre and awkward interaction and have some fun with it. Good for you!
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Nov 16, 2010 10:37 PM GMT
    I wouldn't have wasted as much time. Someone tired that with me, and I stopped responding.

    And why bother with someone who can't communicate effectively in your language? (Anyone ever heard of google translate?) Yeah, don't bother responding next time.
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    Nov 16, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    Lol babe, I liked reading your extensive replies, they were beautifully worded and you are very eloqent, but this is common among me and my straight friends too... we say that to each other all the time... and it sounds like this guy is foreign and whill haev very little clue to the complex english you gave out... he is obviously communicating in a simple style reminiscent of another culture I am aware of... and yes Ive said to the guy I was madly in love with and living in the same city (he had just moved) the following:

    Me:
    So you just moved here? Do you speak our slang?

    Him:
    Yes a little bit why?

    me:
    Can you understand this?? (translated from city street slang): your face is so fugly you cant get a ho to save your life

    Him:
    Pleasant and amused laughter


    And this is how all my friends and I communicated that were living in that city... and this is a guy I had a HUGE crush on... its the way we actually were showing affection to one another, and yes, I STILL communicate this way with many of my closest friends...