How do you cope?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 18, 2010 12:38 AM GMT


    Like a lot of people I'm sure, I've had what I call a personal slip up. I fucked up. I wont make excuses and try to justify it. Plain and simple, I fucked up. Now since fucking up, I've been in a monogamous relationship for several years...but...since starting the relationship, I'd never been tested. I was too afraid. We did everything that years deep couples do without second thoughts. I know from his end he was okay because he was a virgin in every sense. We've had long discussions about how things would play out if I were to have something and I feel secure on that side of things...but on the eve of getting my test results I'm eating myself alive. I can't even think. I've been tested many times before but was never worried because I'd never been that guy. For the first time I'm worried because I have real reason to be worried. I'm bouncing off the walls literally. I'm shaking as I type. The last couple weeks waiting for results day has been increasingly rough. I'm ready to drive off a bridge now, how the hell am I supposed to get through the next day, weeks and years if my result is positive?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 18, 2010 12:51 AM GMT
    Realize that HIV (and other stds) isn't a death sentence. With today's medicine, you're likely to live nearly as long a life as those who don't have HIV (or other stds). Treatments are available.

    Also, you don't for sure have anything, so don't get too worked up. Tomorrow will come and that will be that. Good luck.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 18, 2010 1:50 PM GMT
    You're in my prayers, bud. Cross that bridge when you come to it... be strong and wait for the results... I'm with ya. Please let us know how you're doing. You're not alone. Tony
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 18, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    Tonync1969 saidYou're in my prayers, bud. Cross that bridge when you come to it... be strong and wait for the results... I'm with ya. Please let us know how you're doing. You're not alone. Tony


    I'll be doing the same.
  • Iakona

    Posts: 367

    Nov 18, 2010 2:51 PM GMT
    If you are positive.... you cry, you scream, you get angry, you throw things, you calm down, you rationalize, and then you realize that you still have your whole life ahead of you.....But as it was said before, cross that bridge if it does come up.........just know that if it does, you are not alone and that you will live just as long as anybody else........the only difference is you have to put some effort into keeping healthy......so no worries my friend, things will be fine...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 18, 2010 3:35 PM GMT


    It seems I've been granted a reprieve. On one hand, I feel so juvenile for creating a thread to vent my worries. How selfish to think my problem merits a thread of its own? I am so grateful though, for the people that commented, gave advice and told me to pray for the best. It was such a great feeling to read the words of people that understand. I know now, when shit gets tough...and I feel I can't talk to my own family and friends..there are good people here. Thank you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    So your test came out neg?

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 2:06 AM GMT
    meninlove said So your test came out neg?

    -Doug


    Yes
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    kdsbil said

    It seems I've been granted a reprieve. On one hand, I feel so juvenile for creating a thread to vent my worries. How selfish to think my problem merits a thread of its own? I am so grateful though, for the people that commented, gave advice and told me to pray for the best. It was such a great feeling to read the words of people that understand. I know now, when shit gets tough...and I feel I can't talk to my own family and friends..there are good people here. Thank you.


    Don't feel juvenile about your post, you were just merely expressing your anxiety at that point in time. When I read your post I felt so nervous for you but also so much compassion for you also. Hopefully people who read that post (myself included) will have a reality check and be more careful in future if they're not already.

    I am so happy about your results icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    Gbob's right kdsbil.

    "Don't feel juvenile about your post, you were just merely expressing your anxiety at that point in time.

    When I read your post I felt so nervous for you but also so much compassion for you also."

    I felt the same.

    -Doug
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Nov 21, 2010 2:29 AM GMT
    Congratulations on the good results.

    Now you can learn, along with your lover how to deal with the future in a responsible way.

    If I were writing this before the tests came in, I would be saying that you need not react until you know what your status is. Having lived under the shadow of cancer for nearly 20 years, I can tell you that I understand the anxiety beore test results and the relief after them, but there is no need to make it worse that it really is. Knowledge is power. Get powerful.

    And agin, congratulations on finding out for sure.