Coffee after work?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2010 4:16 AM GMT
    True Story: (please read it entirely)

    Once upon a time on a best buy, I was making? company to my aunt while she bought some things. there I notice this cute sales guy, I stare at him casually and move on, then I see him staring back... I kept on looking at the store goods .... I catch him looking at me again...then I wonder: did he notice me starting at him first and thats why he is looking at me? felt kind of embarrased for a minute and then he approches me asking if he could be of some assistance, the tone of his voice made me wonder if he was gay, I wanted to buy something SO BAD!!!! to keep the conversation going, but we where on the tv section icon_sad.gif

    a few days back, I went to a new salon? well, the place where they cut your hair, and I totally flirted with my asigned Stylist, I asumed again he was gay but could not at the moment be sure.


    MY QUESTION:

    in both cases i wanted to ask the guy out, my first though was asking them when they got off work and grabbing a cup of coffe, but do you think that's too cliche from teen date movies? besides i could not be sure if they were gay or not. and I was in the COSTUMER position!

    WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
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    Nov 18, 2010 5:52 AM GMT
    what did you have to lose?
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    Nov 18, 2010 6:06 AM GMT
    ShaDoWhn said
    WHAT WOULD YOU DO?


    When I'm in an ambiguous situation like those and I really want to know if the guy is gay, I just say I'm attracted to him and want to know if he's gay. I've done it since college, and it still makes me nervous, but at least I don't feel stupid for saying "hey wanna grab coffee," and have him think I'm some homo wanting to make a pass at him and disguising it up. At least by being blunt, if the guy isn't gay he'll be like, "dayum that faggot has some balls."
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    Nov 18, 2010 7:19 AM GMT
    Right on JAKEBENSON, The straight forward approach, while blunt, eliminates the both the facade and any potential mis-communications when dealing with strangers. It doesn't have to be as upfront as telling the guy he's attractive either, a few lines of conversation usually affords an opportunity to find out if he's game or not. Tone is everything.

    Good luck with your friend at BB too OP!
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Nov 18, 2010 7:21 AM GMT
    nothing wrong with asking if they want to get a drink some time. Worst thing they say is they aren't interested.
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    Nov 18, 2010 7:55 AM GMT
    I like coffee, but why do guys always use "meeting over coffee" as the only viable thing to do when they want to get to know the other person better? Why don't people be more creative, like get ice-cream or something? icon_biggrin.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 18, 2010 11:56 AM GMT
    I was in Home Depot the other day and this guy comes up to me and says " As handsome as you are, you just have to be gay" icon_redface.gif
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    Nov 18, 2010 1:40 PM GMT
    ....that, and the feather boa is a give away, Male...icon_razz.gificon_wink.gificon_lol.gif
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    Nov 18, 2010 1:42 PM GMT
    I actually approached a guy who was alone @ soda dispenser at a fast food place and told him "I never do this, but you are so handsome I just have to say something."
    To which he replied "Thanks. I'm not gay, but that was nice to hear."
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    Nov 18, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    What if the dude you're flirting with works at Starbucks?

    Anybody watch Better With You last nite? They talked about "flirts for favors" with people in retail jobs.
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    Nov 18, 2010 1:54 PM GMT
    chrixx saidI like coffee, but why do guys always use "meeting over coffee" as the only viable thing to do when they want to get to know the other person better? Why don't people be more creative, like get ice-cream or something? icon_biggrin.gif


    How about: Wanna go trade math equations, hot stuff? icon_wink.gif

    Anyway, I'd feel out the situation. But if you'd rather not, be bold, brazen...brutal!
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    Nov 18, 2010 2:40 PM GMT
    I don't I've ever been asked out like that nor have I asked a guy like that....

  • laxdude25

    Posts: 604

    Nov 18, 2010 2:55 PM GMT
    I like the direct approach advocated by JakeBenson and SSRight. If I feel there's a connection, I have surprised myself by actually saying something like, "Hope this doesn't offend you, but you're a really great looking guy with a great vibe. I don't do this a lot, but I'd be really interested in getting together sometime if you would." And shockingly, it actually has worked and led to great fwb relationships with 2 of my last three buddies, one at a lacrosse game, and one with a guy I play soccer with.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 18, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said....that, and the feather boa is a give away, Male...icon_razz.gificon_wink.gificon_lol.gif



    Hmmm...remind me why I like you again......Oh yeah...the feet icon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 18, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    chrixx saidI like coffee, but why do guys always use "meeting over coffee" as the only viable thing to do when they want to get to know the other person better? Why don't people be more creative, like get ice-cream or something? icon_biggrin.gif

    Yeah, I'm like you. I like coffee as well, but in this day and age, there has to be something better than chatting at Starbucks.
    I get this invite online from time to time and it comes across as very vanilla when I'm more of the 31 Flavors category.
    I'd rather a guy tell me what he wants and not waist our time over java.
    Now.. if you are wanting a coffee pal for chatting.. just say so and we can go from there.
    Just sayin'


    so maybe we should ask you

    "hey, want to go grab a beer at that leather bar after work? Maybe I'll get on the horse and let you beat me."
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    Nov 18, 2010 3:58 PM GMT
    I've become direct yet creative the last couple years. I was coming out of a wine store and getting in the car with a friend and this wicked sexy guy driving a outback pulls in next to us. He looks over at me in the passanger seat and smiles, so I roll down my window to exchange a few words; it turned out he was stopping in the same store. After he goes inside, I leave a note under his wiper, saying something like, "You are a good looking guy, give me a call sometime handsome." and my number.
    Ten minutes later my cell rings, it's him. He was totally flattered & we met for a drink at a lounge the next evening. He had this whole East Coast GQ academic thing going on, which I love. He looked even better without his clothes though...
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    Nov 18, 2010 9:17 PM GMT
    malefeet said


    Hmmm...remind me why I like you again......Oh yeah...the feet icon_twisted.gif


    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_nvs3uEOhFW2Bo_BuSk4
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    Nov 18, 2010 9:22 PM GMT
    JAKEBENSON said
    ShaDoWhn said
    WHAT WOULD YOU DO?


    When I'm in an ambiguous situation like those and I really want to know if the guy is gay, I just say I'm attracted to him and want to know if he's gay. I've done it since college, and it still makes me nervous, but at least I don't feel stupid for saying "hey wanna grab coffee," and have him think I'm some homo wanting to make a pass at him and disguising it up. At least by being blunt, if the guy isn't gay he'll be like, "dayum that faggot has some balls."


    I think this is stellar advice.
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    Nov 18, 2010 11:11 PM GMT
    EccentricStud saidI've become direct yet creative the last couple years. I was coming out of a wine store and getting in the car with a friend and this wicked sexy guy driving a outback pulls in next to us. He looks over at me in the passanger seat and smiles, so I roll down my window to exchange a few words; it turned out he was stopping in the same store. After he goes inside, I leave a note under his wiper, saying something like, "You are a good looking guy, give me a call sometime handsome." and my number.
    Ten minutes later my cell rings, it's him. He was totally flattered & we met for a drink at a lounge the next evening. He had this whole East Coast GQ academic thing going on, which I love. He looked even better without his clothes though...


    I've done that too. Left my email address, and before I got home there was a message saying, you left too fast before I could come back to the car.

    Friends to this day. Didn't f***. One day! icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 19, 2010 6:54 AM GMT
    Funkapottomous said
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    chrixx saidI like coffee, but why do guys always use "meeting over coffee" as the only viable thing to do when they want to get to know the other person better? Why don't people be more creative, like get ice-cream or something? icon_biggrin.gif

    Yeah, I'm like you. I like coffee as well, but in this day and age, there has to be something better than chatting at Starbucks.
    I get this invite online from time to time and it comes across as very vanilla when I'm more of the 31 Flavors category.
    I'd rather a guy tell me what he wants and not waist our time over java.
    Now.. if you are wanting a coffee pal for chatting.. just say so and we can go from there.
    Just sayin'


    so maybe we should ask you

    "hey, want to go grab a beer at that leather bar after work? Maybe I'll get on the horse and let you beat me."


    Now, that's a great pick up line! icon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 19, 2010 9:11 AM GMT
    Great advices from all of you guys, thanks icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 19, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    chrixx said
    Funkapottomous said
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    chrixx saidI like coffee, but why do guys always use "meeting over coffee" as the only viable thing to do when they want to get to know the other person better? Why don't people be more creative, like get ice-cream or something? icon_biggrin.gif

    Yeah, I'm like you. I like coffee as well, but in this day and age, there has to be something better than chatting at Starbucks.
    I get this invite online from time to time and it comes across as very vanilla when I'm more of the 31 Flavors category.
    I'd rather a guy tell me what he wants and not waist our time over java.
    Now.. if you are wanting a coffee pal for chatting.. just say so and we can go from there.
    Just sayin'


    so maybe we should ask you

    "hey, want to go grab a beer at that leather bar after work? Maybe I'll get on the horse and let you beat me."


    Now, that's a great pick up line! icon_twisted.gif


    I heard another great one today on fresh prince.

    they were at some carnival and will pointed out ken griffey jr. to hillary.
    she walks up to him and goes "it's a little chilly out here, wanna take me to Hawaii?"
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Nov 19, 2010 3:31 PM GMT
    This story totally reminded me of this job I had at one of the local malls. One of those pay to paint ceramic shops where people come in and paint up plates and stuff and then we fire it in a kiln to make it all shiny and pretty....anyways one day I am working in the afternoon and this guy walks in that totally just breaks my gaydar needle, tall, well built, smooth, blonde and blue and freakin gorgeous. I couldnt stop staring at the guy the whole time he was in there painting.

    Here's where I went and did something totally out of character for me, when he filled out his contact card for a call back I read his email address and name and made a mental note of it. The next day when I took his plates out of the kiln I put a note with them and set them aside so I could have the oppurtunity to hand it to him myself.

    So im sittin there workin when he walks in with 2 friends and without thinking about it, or giving him the chance to say anything, I say "Rob right? Hang on I will get your piece..." BIG mistake lol, he instantly recognized the fact that I knew his name before he mentioned it and I think one of his friends asked him something about it as I was walking away. icon_redface.gif

    Anyway because of the 2nd and 3rd wheel I never really got to talk to him but a week or two later (maybe with some alcohol involved...I cant remember) I sent him an anonymous email telling him how he had come into my work place recently and that if he was gay/single I would jump at the chance to go on a date with him. Clicked send, and instantly regretted it wishing I could take it back. Maybe 2-3 days later I got a reply that I wasn't expecting.

    "Is this James? From Color me Mine?" he said in the first line. My reaction was something along the lines of icon_eek.gif "Oh shi..." He then went on to tell me how he's been with his Partner for 17 years and was flattered by my email, and we ended up becoming good friends for several years before he moved.

    In hind-sight I probably shouldnt have memorized his email address like a freakin stalker but if I hadn't taken that chance I wouldnt have ever been friends with him. So now when I feel compelled or urged to do something, I do it...so if you ask me I would say approach him. You never know what it will lead to.
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    Nov 19, 2010 3:38 PM GMT
    SanDiegoNewbie saidup becoming good friends for several years before he moved.

    In hind-sight I probably shouldnt have memorized his email address like a freakin stalker but if I hadn't taken that chance I wouldnt have ever been friends with him. So now when I feel compelled or urged to do something, I do it...so if you ask me I would say approach him. You never know what it will lead to.


    I'm sure there are rules about "improper use" of info you get from customers, but clearly the way you handled that disarmed this guy and didn't seem invasive or stalkerish.

    In general I feel like people are way too uptight about this kind of thing. If done correctly and considerately there's no reason anybody should be anything but flattered by a complimentary message of "I think you're interesting and would like to know you better." You put the ball in their court and if they say "thanks but no thanks," leave it at that, no harm no foul. It seems like just being nice to a stranger is "creepy" anymore; people need to lighten up.
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    Nov 19, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    A friend of mine owns a modeling agency so I network for her by passing out her business cards. If I see a very handsome man that I'm attracted to but am not sure if he is gay, I use the card as an introduction.

    "Hi, just want to say that you're a good looking guy and want to ask if you ever thought about modeling?" Some took the card and thanked me for the compliment/opportunity and moved on. A couple were more interested in me than the opportunity. HAHA!icon_twisted.gif