Buttholes from High School

  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Mar 14, 2008 3:19 PM GMT
    From another forum ('the best compliment you got from a str8 guy'):
    dood saidfor the past couple weeks, I've had several guys asking me for help on bulking and keeping definition... even some of the buttholes who gave me shit in high school! (Do they still recognize me or have they suffered from a little brain damage...?)


    Ok, this really got me going.

    I recently joined facebook and have come into contact w/ many people from HS that I wasn't really friends with AT ALL.

    Most of them are girls (all but 2) and suddenly, they are contacting me/adding me as a friend, and they're all like, 'Oh, how are you!' like we were my best friends at some point.

    Now, I had a pretty rough experience in HS and I remember how most of these people treated me (which was not so well at all!).
    Being older and wiser, I've learned to let go of the past because I know that HS sux for most that go through it.

    Although it makes me think -These people who are contacting me are more or less from the 'popular' circles and seemingly didn't have a rough time at all in HS.
    So this is what I don't get:
    Why now nearly 10 yrs later do they want to be my friend?
    Is it fashionable to know the gay kid now that he is doing a lot better? Or is this some sick joke?

    I'm not sure... Also when I run into some of these people during the holiday season its the same thing -Like they are kissing my ass and in my head I'm thinking, 'I haven't forgotten how you used to call me faggot all the time'.

    WHAT'S W/ THIS?
    Can anyone else relate? (obiously dood can)
    icon_confused.gif
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    Mar 14, 2008 3:40 PM GMT
    i can totally relate - for my 10-year reunion (which i didn't attend) there was actually a subcommittee set up for brain storming a way to contact me and then convince me to come and receive an "official" apology from the class of 19-something-or-other...

    i've moved on. that gesture was far too contrived and far too little too late. i don't even remember the names of most of those assholes (i lie, i remember every single one of them), but i'm not going to go accept an "you're-actually-cooler-than-us" trophy from people who never left harlem, ga.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 14, 2008 3:45 PM GMT
    I came from a little high school near Wichita (86 graduates in my class) that was pretty much the norm... and when I graduated I was just beginning to grow up physically. While I was an honor student, I was a very different person than I am today.

    Lots of education, life experiences and acknowledgements (like I'm gay) has changed me. I love it when someone from hs stares at me and says, "Um you don't look anything like I remember you looking" and I thank them.

    My approach isn't to stick their face in anything or compare notes on how successful people have turned out... I hope most of us are beyond that behavior. The point is you want to show what kind of a person you are today. If they are reasonable and mature, enjoy yourself and be friendly. If they are not, take the high road... most of us have earned it with our own individual journeys...
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    Mar 14, 2008 3:48 PM GMT
    They are growing-up and realizing that we are all just people. At my 10 year reunion the situation was exactly the same as you described. At my 20th - people had been married/divorced, had kids/grandkids and had been through many stages of life. After a while the "clicks" in high school really aren't that important - especially when you see the "Most Popular Cheerleader" is living in a trailer on food stamps dragging her 3 Grandchildren around while her daughter is in jail on a DUII and the "Nerd" is now in senior management at Starbucks and making a 6 figure income. Now who has the last laugh?
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    Mar 14, 2008 3:59 PM GMT
    Kinetic I totally sympathize with your views. My feelings about my high school years are about the same as Ken Phelps feelings about gays icon_evil.gif I did not even go to my graduation despite being the winner of the history prize (I know G-E-E-K).

    I was not popular in HS with the "cool" people. Guys that do well in school but not well in sports are ostracized. I was also shy and socially awkward. I remember in Grade 9 being asked by a girl if my name was Jonathan Edwards. I said yes. She burst out laughing and then tried to apologize. You can imagine how humiliated I felt. She never did tell me why she was laughing at me.

    If someone treated me badly in HS and all of sudden wanted to be my friend when I am an adult, well I would probably take awhile to warm up to them.

    I have a very good memory for the way I have been treated over the years (I can remember emotions from the age of 2 1/2).

    BTW a friend of mine from HS recently found me on Facebook, nearly 29 years after last talking to him. His feelings about HS were similar to mine, except I never knew it at the time. He is the only friend from HS whom I have had communication with since June 1979.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Mar 14, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    That's kind of how I feel. I don't see how these people can't remember being so cruel and now expect my respect/friendship. Its surreal to have these people try and enter my life after all that bs.
    I must admit, it is a bit of an ego boost.
    icon_cool.gif

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    Mar 14, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    dancerjack saidi can totally relate - for my 10-year reunion (which i didn't attend) there was actually a subcommittee set up for brain storming a way to contact me and then convince me to come and receive an "official" apology from the class of 19-something-or-other...


    An apology from a subcommittee is like a blow job from a dog. Glad you didn't attend.
  • justjk

    Posts: 302

    Mar 14, 2008 4:40 PM GMT
    Not really sure why they do it, but i can say that i've run into 3 of the guys who tortured me in high school, all in a GAY bar, all 3 asked me to dance with them, and have a drink, i politely declined, told them i had seen them all naked in the locker rooms, and they weren't worth my time, bitter? nah!!!!
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    Mar 14, 2008 4:41 PM GMT
    oh i've known this one all to well. at first i added a few people on facebook when they asked. and others i declined. and declined again. and then one more time. and then got a message askign why i wouldn't add them. i wrote back something along these lines...

    "had you ignored me in highschool the way i'm trying to ignore you now, i would've much preffered it"

    not word for word, but pretty much what i gave them. and they don't even know i'm gay so it's not just trying to find the gay guy to befriend all of a sudden. they just think that they never did anything wrong.

    some of them have come around, and i've seen them around town and i have NOW started talkin to a few. but others, when i see them at the bar or even in the grocery store, actually make the same biting comments they used to. granted they don't hurt anymore, i would still like to kick them in the g'nads.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:04 PM GMT
    I haven't been to a high school reunion yet...but last year I went to an elementary school reunion for my graduating class (elementary school was so much worse for me than high school...and high school was pretty bad initially)

    It was weird how all of those people who hated me were making nice and all "you should add me to facebook/msn/etc." and "we should go out for drinks and catch up". I actually pointed out to a few people how they were complete and total dicks and there was a reason we had 10 years of catching up to do...lol

    High school reunion? Don't think I'm ever going to go to one. The only people from my high school who I ever want to see again are the ones I'm already seeing now on a regular basis. My anger's a lot quicker to rise these days and I don't wanna risk jail time over a reunion...
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:08 PM GMT
    I've had similar experiences, but have come to realize that high school is a vastly different animal than the "real world." Most people are a whole lot different than they were in high school and have grown up quite a bit. I welcome whoever wants to be my friend on MySpace. It's not like we're going to get together and be the best of friends. Every so often they say "hi" and I say "hi" back. I don't have the energy to hold grudges against people I can barely remember anyway.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:12 PM GMT
    My highschool was in a small town out in the middle of nowhere. I came out junior year so you can imagine all the hillbillies gave me quite a bit of trouble the next year and a half. I've been back to visit recently and they are all now fat, bald, or pregnant, and have yet to escape that hellhole.

    I love karma.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:13 PM GMT
    I find it so funny that I WASN'T tortured in high school and below. I used to literally be obese with an ugly Asian afro and a little bit of sugar in my voice. I remember people trying to tease me, but I bit back twice as hard and made sure no one had power over me. I also was at the head of my class, so I maintained some underlying respect. I think the majority of people are in denial when it comes to the memories of being a bully at a younger age. It's hard for someone to admit that they were a total asshole and treated an undeserving person so badly. I guess when they approach you and act all "nice", it's sort of a penance for all the horrible things they did. Of course it's also a pussy act because they are too weak to apologize and admit their own faults. All you can do is be fake-nice right back but KNOW you are superior! icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:18 PM GMT
    They see my face popping up in mutual friend's photo albums, see I'm having fun, and they think "damn, if I'm in cahoots with him, I'll be even more popular!"

    A bitch I knew in high school added me, despite both of us knowing full well we hate each other's guts. She calls me overly dressed and too arrogant while being unnecessarily eloquent; I call her a Janus that talks and a cherub that tries to pass off as a highly sociable naughty bunny who makes everyone's general hidden feelings of her turn the lakes of sulphur colder than a Siberian winter.

    Yet we add each other, just to appear civil. Neither one of us wants to back down and seem lesser person.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Mar 14, 2008 5:19 PM GMT
    That's just it. I can't do fake very well. I'm sure that most of theses people have matured and its nice that they are willing to sort of make amends by contacting me, but at the same time its really strange.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:22 PM GMT
    jbedwards saidI have a very good memory for the way I have been treated over the years (I can remember emotions from the age of 2 1/2).


    people may not always remember what was said, but they will always remember how they felt. i know that's true for me too.

    there was this girl who never talked to me in high school. she wanted to be friends on myspace. i didn't want to be a bitch so i accepted. a few weeks later, i saw her at the gym and said hi, and she ignored me. what the heck!!! i wasn't hurt, just thought she was still lame.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    Being fake is just like acting! It can be so much fun and can cause dangerous amounts of laughter! icon_wink.gif You can even sarcastically bring up those amazing times you had together!
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 14, 2008 5:30 PM GMT
    I relate on the part of having people I didn't particularly socialize with adding me to their Facebook Friends list, but I don't relate to having bullies adding me.

    The horrors of my high school experience were primarily designs of my own insecurities, bi-polarity (from family heritage, new school, and moving from rural Norway to Miami, FL), and coming to terms with being gay. The bullying I experienced (primarily in Norway; I was kind of popular as the weird Norwegian in Miami) was greatly exaggerated by my insecurity and my drive to be angry.

    In my Miamian high school I was geeky, social, reclusive, active in cheering the school sports teams, smart, and not mentally balanced. I also didn't hang out with any particular clique, but rather drifted between whoever I felt like (during my senior year, I mostly hung out with the outcast clique because of their lack of psychodrama).
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:30 PM GMT
    SDtrainer saidI've had similar experiences, but have come to realize that high school is a vastly different animal than the "real world." Most people are a whole lot different than they were in high school and have grown up quite a bit. I welcome whoever wants to be my friend on MySpace. It's not like we're going to get together and be the best of friends. Every so often they say "hi" and I say "hi" back. I don't have the energy to hold grudges against people I can barely remember anyway.


    Yeah , I am with you.

    My class was only 63 kids..(catholic school)
    I was never treated any worse or better then anyone else in high school. We all got our share of banter.
    I teased a girl who had her period all over her white pants. Hopefully she is not still holding a grudge. Children sometimes act like children... they aren't miniature adults.

    I was recently in a national magazine for my business and everyone and their mother called me to "catch up". It was beyond painful.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:31 PM GMT
    MunchingZombie said[quote][cite]dancerjack said[/cite]i can totally relate - for my 10-year reunion (which i didn't attend) there was actually a subcommittee set up for brain storming a way to contact me and then convince me to come and receive an "official" apology from the class of 19-something-or-other...


    An apology from a subcommittee is like a blow job from a dog. Glad you didn't attend.[/quote]

    Munching please warn me next time when you are going to post something so funny! I am getting over a bad cough and laughing can trigger a coughing fit.

    A blow job from a dog? I started having these visions, well never mind.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:32 PM GMT
    just tell them they're 'beautiful' and move on...very Heathers style icon_smile.gif

    actually fbook has boggled my mind ever since it started (my freshman yr of college), and I never quite understand why people who I didn't talk to or even really know wanted to be interweb friends. In the end it isn't really hurting anyone and apparently they have SOME reason for wanting to request me...so I guess I kinda stopped caring.

    And to be honest, I wasn't impressed with many people in high school, and I would fake my enthusiasm towards them. Now I've wised up and have exhausted of that fake "omg you are so talented/athletic/smart/whatever" attitude and don't really care what they do. Boy howdy I can't wait for my ten year reunion (and I can already guess the people who are going to plan THAT shindig!).
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    justjk saidNot really sure why they do it, but i can say that i've run into 3 of the guys who tortured me in high school, all in a GAY bar, all 3 asked me to dance with them, and have a drink, i politely declined, told them i had seen them all naked in the locker rooms, and they weren't worth my time, bitter? nah!!!!


    Meow! And I thought I could come back with a cutting remark. I gotta make sure I never piss in your corn flakes (so to speak)!
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    Just play the song "Fighter" by Christina Aguilera and you'll be fine.
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    Mar 14, 2008 5:42 PM GMT
    I wouldn't sweat it! I mean, as you stated yourself, you've grown & learned to let it go. They've grown as well and may have realized how they behaved back then and just wanna reach out and say hey. I know most people especially us gay men had a rough High School experience, I did not, I had a AWESOMELY GREAT High School experience and run into people here and there, when I do fly back home & still friends with some of them, and we're all grown and realize what we did or didn't do.
    Don't be too harsh on them, just take it for what it's worth, you never know, you might end of actually liking some of them now.
  • NickoftheNort...

    Posts: 1416

    Mar 14, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    You can also read this blog entry for a dose of subversive humor:

    Stuff White People Like: #83 Bad Memories of High School