What are your thoughts on this?

  • Regina_Guy

    Posts: 406

    Nov 19, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    So I have this friend, who is pretty much a perfect ten when it comes to looks and body. He's also a really nice guy. However, recently he's discovered that if he hangs out with older guys (sixty five and over), they tend to buy him lots of expensive clothes, etc. (He never requests that they buy him things). This has really been bothering me lately, and when I've asked him about it, he says he sees no problem with it.

    After thinking about it a little more, I started to realize maybe it's not such a bad thing. He's providing these guys with companionship and sex. In return, he gets unsolicited gifts and shopping trips. Part of me feels that these guys are being used, but at the same time, I also think that my friend is also being used. Everyone is gaining something out of this arrangement, so does that make it ok?

    Thoughts?
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    Nov 19, 2010 3:31 PM GMT
    Yes it's OK. He's not asking for gifts and they're volunteering (lol, probably insisting he accept). This used to go on back in the early 70s. I was chased by a few older guys like the ones you describe. We settled for being friends only, no sex, but they persisted in giving me things and insisted on taking me out to places I could never afford to go.

    lol, it made me so anxious for them! I seemed to be getting the better end of the stick. Eventually I was able to get two of them to start dating each other. Whew!



    -Doug
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    Nov 19, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    It's like he's escorting or they're some kind of sugar daddies. I don't see how he's being taken advantage of so I think if he enjoys their company and sees no problem in what they do for him, keep on doing it. Older guys have better conversations anyway in my opinion. icon_smile.gif

    It reminds me a few years ago when I was going home at night and I saw this old guy (in his 60's or 70's) on the street who didn't have his gate key with him but had his apartment key. He couldn't get into his place so he gave me his apartment key and I jumped the gate and got the gate key from his kitchen. He invited me in and got me a cup of tea and some chocolates as a thank you and we got into conversation about his work (costumes in theater) and I ended up taking my shirt off and trying all these uniforms he had in his bedroom! icon_biggrin.gif The situation was so funny, he even said that I made an old man very happy lol
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    Nov 19, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    Why wouldn't it be OK?
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    Nov 19, 2010 4:19 PM GMT
    I think I'm jealous. icon_confused.gif
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    Nov 19, 2010 4:30 PM GMT

    I sure as hell wouldn't find anything wrong with this... I did it for years!!
    Most of my lovers and "friends" from the time I was 17 until I was 30 were older and VERY wealthy. I couldn't even relate to anyone who was not....
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    Nov 19, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    anything goes between consenting adults. I am guilty of excepting gifts till it got too over the top: clothing is one thing, housing and cars are another.
    I have a friend now who spent most his young life living off his sugar daddy(s). They stayed in the closet and when they died he was left out in the cold (literally).
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    Nov 19, 2010 6:18 PM GMT
    Sounds like a win win situation to me. Shit, I am tired of paying for things with my own money. I need me a sugar daddy. I'll just double paper bag it.
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    Nov 19, 2010 6:24 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidanything goes between consenting adults. I am guilty of excepting gifts till it got too over the top: clothing is one thing, housing and cars are another.
    I have a friend now who spent most his young life living off his sugar daddy(s). They stayed in the closet and when they died he was left out in the cold (literally).


    Your friend wasn't a strategic moocher. I would've built my own little birds nest with the money they gave me so that when my sugar daddies bites the dust I would be able to support myself. He should have took all the things he got and eBayed them all. I would have like tons of money in my paypal account.
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    Nov 19, 2010 7:47 PM GMT
    ..most gay men prostitute themselves, one way or another.
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    Nov 19, 2010 8:57 PM GMT
    iGotsuprise said..most gay men prostitute themselves, one way or another.



    srsly? Perhaps the ones you know.

    -Doug
  • mizu5

    Posts: 2599

    Nov 19, 2010 9:12 PM GMT
    Well. Is he... into older men? I mean, if he is giving them sex....?

    I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as the older men know what it is, and don't read into it.
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    Nov 20, 2010 3:01 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    iGotsuprise said..most gay men prostitute themselves, one way or another.



    srsly? Perhaps the ones you know.

    -Doug



    read this forum.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 20, 2010 3:03 AM GMT
    I don't think much of the situation, personally. It's not something I'd do.
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    Nov 20, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    Whats his asking rate?
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    Nov 22, 2010 9:55 PM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with that , it is offers to him , he doen't ask for
    he is smart, and take advantage of his good look , why not ....icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 22, 2010 10:13 PM GMT
    Regina_Guy saidSo I have this friend, who is pretty much a perfect ten when it comes to looks and body. He's also a really nice guy. However, recently he's discovered that if he hangs out with older guys (sixty five and over), they tend to buy him lots of expensive clothes, etc. (He never requests that they buy him things). This has really been bothering me lately, and when I've asked him about it, he says he sees no problem with it.

    After thinking about it a little more, I started to realize maybe it's not such a bad thing. He's providing these guys with companionship and sex. In return, he gets unsolicited gifts and shopping trips. Part of me feels that these guys are being used, but at the same time, I also think that my friend is also being used. Everyone is gaining something out of this arrangement, so does that make it ok?

    Thoughts?


    I'm not a big fan of it...I mean, unless the guys he hangs out with are fully aware of the fact that it's as exclusive as: "he pleases them" and "they buy him things" then go for it.

    But when I think of sex with a guy...I like to think of it as a mutual experience. We are both rewarded by that same session where we both get off, and feel good.

    I feel like to that extent, maybe some of these older guys hope for the same. They might genuinely like this perfect 10 guy, and thus continue to buy him thinks because they are under the belief that him coming back for more sex, is a continuation of this mutual relationship....not just the fact that he wants more clothes.

    To sum it up:
    HE is definitely gaining from the situation.
    The other guys, could possibly be losing...a lot (time, money, and feelings)

    And essentially, I think it's fucked up. That is unless of course, (see my first sentence)

    icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 22, 2010 10:33 PM GMT
    I know a guy who has a similar lifestyle and when I found out I was angry with him for not telling me but at the same time jealous that he is getting everything handed to him on a platter. I got over it and decided to let him live his life the way he wants to.

    I am sure your friend's sexual partners are aware that they need to buy gifts for him in order to keep him coming back because they know that it is not easy for them to find sex with a young man at their age.
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    Jan 03, 2014 1:42 AM GMT
    J115 saidI think that's discusting and sick!!

    Considering this was over 3 years ago, some of the sugar daddies may have passed on already.
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    Jan 03, 2014 1:45 AM GMT
    J115 saidI think that's discusting and sick!!

    So are your orthographic skills.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Jan 03, 2014 2:06 AM GMT
    Regina_Guy saidSo I have this friend, who is pretty much a perfect ten when it comes to looks and body. He's also a really nice guy. However, recently he's discovered that if he hangs out with older guys (sixty five and over), they tend to buy him lots of expensive clothes, etc. (He never requests that they buy him things). This has really been bothering me lately, and when I've asked him about it, he says he sees no problem with it.

    After thinking about it a little more, I started to realize maybe it's not such a bad thing. He's providing these guys with companionship and sex. In return, he gets unsolicited gifts and shopping trips. Part of me feels that these guys are being used, but at the same time, I also think that my friend is also being used. Everyone is gaining something out of this arrangement, so does that make it ok?

    Thoughts?
    Sex becomes a commodity to be bought and sold. This mindset catches up with ya fast but by that time,you're all used up.
  • R_Prototype

    Posts: 35

    Jan 03, 2014 3:05 AM GMT
    Arrangements don't work for long! Probably those old people will be doing that with other guys too! So it very much depends on the understanding between your friend and those guys! In a short run, "everyone is happy"
  • dustinj4mes

    Posts: 29

    Jan 03, 2014 4:59 AM GMT
    I don't see anything wrong with it. Everyone involved seems to understand what the situation is, so no harm done!
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    Jan 03, 2014 5:01 AM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    J115 saidI think that's discusting and sick!!

    Considering this was over 3 years ago, some of the sugar daddies may have passed on already.


    Hopefully the sugarbaby got into the will.
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    Jan 03, 2014 5:02 AM GMT
    J115 saidI think that's discusting and sick!!


    Nice job resurrecting a thread OVER THREE YEARS DEAD!

    Now THAT's worth "discusting"! icon_lol.gif