What percentage of Gay guys do you think are in a stable relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2010 9:30 PM GMT
    I'm only asking this because everywhere I go it seems very few gay guys are actually in some form of stable relationship. I mean going upon what I know (this is not factual) I'd estimate that only about 3-5% of gay men are actually not single.

    Any solid stats would be nice, but I see so many hot guys who are single and looking (admittedly there are those who are single and not looking).

    If my estimate is right then why is it that as gay men we find it difficult to find the right guy and be happy with so done for the LTR that we are after?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 20, 2010 9:32 PM GMT
    Admittedly as a single gay guy myself, I'm probably hanging out in all the places couples don't go....
  • janu88

    Posts: 346

    Nov 20, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    it is very weird tho that there are so less LTR in the gay community in general icon_surprised.gif

    maybe the "I do what i want , i fuck what i want" attitude ? icon_razz.gif

    haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    Before Bill and I came on here a couple of years ago we belonged to another site, that site fell to trolls. Before that we belonged to NO site and had left gay venues, such as downtown Vancouver for some time.

    We'd been called castasides (monogamous, so no potential for swinging) and some in the past were rude to our faces, either saying that we're faking the love or that both of us must be ill with horrible diseases and that's why we were together. It doesn't take much from drunk or belligerent people in social settings before one hightails it into the hinterland, so to speak.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 1:50 AM GMT
    http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/gay-sex-vs-straight-sex/

    ok cupid did their own unscientific survey of their own online community. although this only analyzes a specific community my own thoughts say that this is a good indicator of reality. finding a lasting stable relationship, be it straight or gay, is difficult. on the whole gay people want what any human being wants. straight people have trouble finding stable relationships too: just look at the divorce rate.
  • jock8873

    Posts: 120

    Nov 21, 2010 2:02 AM GMT
    I would not venture a guess at the statistic; however, I do not take my relationship for granted, as I am told repeatedly of what a rare circumstance I have in it over the few years we have been together, stable is like art.... perceived in the eye of the beholder......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    This all sounds so depressing....icon_eek.gif

    The other day, I read about this Vancouver gay couple that won $50 million in the lottery. Together for 30 years and still counting. I'd say they've hit the jackpot twice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 4:05 AM GMT
    gay and stable is an oxymoron.
    Ask how many guys on here have cheated on their guys?
    and how many are currently whoring out with somebody's boyfriend/husband?
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Nov 21, 2010 4:29 AM GMT
    25%...And i'm bein generous....My rationale if anyone cares to know...BUD
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 5:15 AM GMT
    Hi guys.re your issue about gays not having long relationships.......My friend and i have been together for 31 years.We have always had a deal with each other,if there is someone that we are interested in we would tell each other and it would happen.It was very seldom.But as a person it is nice to know that your friend trusts you and you trust him,neither him or I have ever cheated on that.We have spent a lot of time in the bush.Where we depend on each other for our lives.But we would never shit on each other.I have even been oftered money to do just that and go with others.I wont.So loyalty and true friend ship in a gay relationship does exist.All the best guys be safe and have a GOOD CHRISTMAS,AND NEW YEAR terry
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Nov 21, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
    I'll be daring and say 30-40% Those are mostly older guys who have no interest in hooking up and mind games that younger gay guys like to play.

    The rest of the unhappy homos are people who want perfection, and it's not practical.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 5:44 AM GMT
    iGotsuprise saidgay and stable is an oxymoron.
    Ask how many guys on here have cheated on their guys?
    and how many are currently whoring out with somebody's boyfriend/husband?


    That sounds like the straight world, only in much greater numbers and with the opposite sex. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 5:47 AM GMT
    You can't compare gay and straight percentage of ltr, because the need to educate your kids is an important reason, for many straight couple, to stick together even if they may have chosen to split otherwise.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 5:55 AM GMT
    minox saidYou can't compare gay and straight percentage of ltr, because the need to educate your kids is an important reason, for many straight couple, to stick together even if they may have chosen to split otherwise.



    Hey, very true, it does skew the numbers doesn't it?

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 11:07 AM GMT
    So based on feedback so far, majoritively gay men want what they want and that want is typically perfection. There is no real law for monogamy which means applying the same practice to the straight community would probably yield the same results.

    We get into a relationship, we see something better, we go get it and start the cycle again.

    What would this world be like without marriage or civil unions then? Would we be left in chaos or would there be a more established society?

    Does marriage 'fix' this problem of so many single guys? And if you could marry how would that change your perspective on dating?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 12:41 PM GMT
    After being in a great relationship for almost 8 years I can tell you that you get 'couple goggles'' after a while. Your world narrows a bit and the only people you begin to associate with.. gaywise anyway are in relationships.

    I think it is rarer in the gay community than the str8 one... for now. Remember we have only been able to openly love for a scant generation...It will take time to rewire our lizard brains.

    In the meantime, I don't think its constructive to worry about the big picture. Take care of your garden and watch it grow.

    Hyde200.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 10:55 PM GMT
    Bigsmiles saidAfter being in a great relationship for almost 8 years I can tell you that you get 'couple goggles'' after a while. Your world narrows a bit and the only people you begin to associate with.. gaywise anyway are in relationships.

    I think it is rarer in the gay community than the str8 one... for now. Remember we have only been able to openly love for a scant generation...It will take time to rewire our lizard brains.

    In the meantime, I don't think its constructive to worry about the big picture. Take care of your garden and watch it grow.

    Hyde200.gif


    True, worrying about a demographic is not the best approach, but you have to question what it is that causes the demographic to be that way - consider this more of a curious sociological study than just a random topic on the forums.

    To put it in your context, at this point I have a garden but no one to share it with. I can have people wander through the garden looking at what blooms there but no one to really share it.

    I guess at the end of the day what should be the expectations for a successful gay relationship. Is there something to look forward to and when? Yes I know it happens when it happens but this normally happens when you reach a certain maturity which I'm guessing many gay guys take much longer to reach than most of the straight demographic.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 11:17 PM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
    At the risk of sounding cynical, I haven't known many gay guys in long-term, stable relationships. The ones that appear to be in one seem so very determined to let everyone know about it and flaunt it that it makes me wonder how genuine it is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 11:46 PM GMT
    I have a couple of friends who are in LTRs and have been for at least 9-10 years. They act like a couple yet at the same time act very independent of each other.

    I think this balance of dependence as well as well as independence makes it work for them. I think it is in finding that person who shares the same level of balance is what makes the relationships last longer than the usual 6-18 month relationship that many guys have.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 21, 2010 11:52 PM GMT
    Maybe birds of a feather flock together. I've been in a relationship for over 10 years and have several couples in LTRs that I'm friends with. Most of them are in their 40s or 50s and have been together for 5 to 10 years or more. I think single guys just tend to meet more single guys and vice versa for coupled guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 22, 2010 12:05 AM GMT
    I don't want a "stable" relationship. Horses aren't my thing. icon_razz.gif

    horse-stable.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 22, 2010 12:21 AM GMT
    Many of my gay friends are in stable relationships. If you go looking at bars or dating / hook-up sites, of course you're not going to find as many coupled guys. Most of the time when I go to parties with my coupled friends, I'm one of the few single ones that go. Sometimes I don't go because I feel like the event will be a "couples thing." Alternatively, when I hang out with my single friends and go do things with them, many times the majority of the people are single. Perhaps you're going to more "single things" so the ratio is skewed?

    Where exactly are you looking to base your percentage? That may be the problem.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 22, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    Pyrotech saidMany of my gay friends are in stable relationships. If you go looking at bars or dating / hook-up sites, of course you're not going to find as many coupled guys. Most of the time when I go to parties with my coupled friends, I'm one of the few single ones that go. Sometimes I don't go because I feel like the event will be a "couples thing." Alternatively, when I hang out with my single friends and go do things with them, many times the majority of the people are single. Perhaps you're going to more "single things" so the ratio is skewed?

    Where exactly are you looking to base your percentage? That may be the problem.


    Of course, based on my second statement it could be that the places or events I go to are more the singles scene, but I can't help but see a lot of the guys here on real jock looking for information on meeting the right person.

    Even socially, I've been to events where the ratio mix of single to couples has been the single demographic being greater than the partnered demographic.

    I'm trying to understand if there are any statistics that states that being gay and in a relationship, without the law of marriage, is a reality or not.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 22, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    sydney_cider saidOf course, based on my second statement it could be that the places or events I go to are more the singles scene, but I can't help but see a lot of the guys here on real jock looking for information on meeting the right person.

    Even socially, I've been to events where the ratio mix of single to couples has been the single demographic being greater than the partnered demographic.

    I'm trying to understand if there are any statistics that states that being gay and in a relationship, without the law of marriage, is a reality or not.


    Some people would consider this site to be a dating site (I don't, but some are here for that and hook-ups). Personally, I come browse through the forums when I get bored, and find that when I'm dating someone, I'm not bored enough to come here. Not that you guys aren't great and all, I just find other things to do.

    Most of the time when I go to restaurants, people use mannerisms that portray them being in a relationship with the other person they're eating with. When I go to movies, it seems like it's half-and-half with groups of friends (that one could assume were single, but not really sure) and couples. Or maybe just 2 gay friends that mug down with each other. No telling really. Concerts are hard to tell, as I rarely see many obviously-gay people at the concerts I go to. Most gay couples that I hang out with don't go to pride events, as they tend to be geared more toward the horned-up single crowd.
    All in all, I'd say about 2/3 of my friends (gay or straight) are coupled. Some (back in Vermont) are married.

    From your last sentence, to clarify, are you saying that because gay people can't get married in all countries, we are less likely to be in a relationship?