HOW TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN WHEN THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE IS CHEATING ON YOU?

  • muscularman

    Posts: 13

    Nov 22, 2010 9:50 AM GMT
    I MET THE MAN I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIVE WITH, IM CRAZY IN LOVE WITH HIM AND I WILL STAY WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT EVEN WHEN I JUST FOUNDED OUT THAT HE CHEATS ON ME, HOW CAN I LEARN TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN?
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    Nov 22, 2010 9:51 AM GMT
    Open relationship?
  • muscularman

    Posts: 13

    Nov 22, 2010 9:58 AM GMT
    NO, I CAN ONLY BE WITH HIM
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    Nov 22, 2010 11:20 AM GMT
    oo man i can just imagine your pain i would love to help you in some way but i don't know what to tell you.
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    Nov 22, 2010 11:36 AM GMT
    muscularman saidNO, I CAN ONLY BE WITH HIM


    Well you either need to forgive and forget the cheating, or end the relationship and find someone else.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:32 PM GMT
    First off...Remove the caps.....It signifies that you're shouting.....



    Now then....


    If he was into you, he wouldn't have cheated...Is he guilty about cheating or is actually a frequent habit...In case of the former....I'd say have a frank discussion or see a licensed couples counselor....Now if he just simply likes to sleep around...DUMP HIM...Get yourself checked for unwanted STDs.....


    The pain won't go away immediately , but take things in a positive life and slowly but surely , you will feel better without him..
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    He cheats on you because you mean nothing to him.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:42 PM GMT
    muscularman saidNO, I CAN ONLY BE WITH HIM

    but obviously he doesn't feel the same
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    Nov 22, 2010 1:03 PM GMT
    Drop him! If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. Cheating on the person you supposedly love is not love; it's selfishness and lusting for someone else.
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    Nov 22, 2010 1:35 PM GMT
    ravenweed.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Nov 22, 2010 1:38 PM GMT
    You are giving him the dedication and respect you deserve in return. He
    isn't willing to give it back. What does that say about you? A healthy relationship is a two way street. I'd neve give that, if it wasn't returned.
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    Nov 22, 2010 2:04 PM GMT
    The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
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    Nov 22, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    Lenoxx said He cheats on you because you mean nothing to him.


    Thats a bit harsh. I doubt that you mean "nothing" to him. I think that the cheating is more indicative of a general disregard for your feelings. Whatever response you get on this thread is likely going to be tough love though because so many of us have been there. I think the best thing for you to do is to take a step back and collect your thoughts absent of him. Like I said, its hard advice to take but it will seriously be the best thing for you. You will be able to think more clearly once you remove yourself from the situation. Your emotions are very clouded right now and your first instinct, to "stay with him no matter what", will probably be revealed as something other than a genuine desire to be with him.

    When we are cheated on we often unconsciously revert to a mode of thinking that is both irrational and destructive. This sprouts from insecurities that are feed by the feelings of being undesirable or insufficient to meet your partner's needs. But the cheater doesn't necessarily cheat because your not good enough. He may cheat simply because he's egotistical and likes to be desired. Your first step to overcoming this thing is to recognize that you deserve to be treated like king and not some turd on the floor to be walked over or avoided while your mate is in pursuit of another hot piece of ass. Your best bet is to meditate on how you would have responded if you weren't so emotionally invested in the relationship.
  • muscularman

    Posts: 13

    Nov 22, 2010 2:32 PM GMT
    Thanks for your advise, i need a friend like you near me
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Muscularman, let's see........if your little sister came to you upset and told you the man she was crazy in love with was cheating on her, (and so perhaps even risking her health), what advice would you give her?

    -Doug
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:02 PM GMT
    cmhoh1985 saidDrop him! If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. Cheating on the person you supposedly love is not love; it's selfishness and lusting for someone else.


    He's right. Trust me on this, ok? I was in a very long and loving (at least I thought so) relationship when I found out. Giving in to his way of having something on the side will only eat away at your heart, soul and self esteem. It hurts so to end something, but please remember this; You are special and do not seserve this.
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    muscularman saidI MET THE MAN I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIVE WITH, IM CRAZY IN LOVE WITH HIM AND I WILL STAY WITH HIM NO MATTER WHAT EVEN WHEN I JUST FOUNDED OUT THAT HE CHEATS ON ME, HOW CAN I LEARN TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN?


    Will you feel the same way when he comes home with an STD?
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    if he REALLY loves you, he'd never cheat on you.
    you do love him right? would you cheat on him????
    think about it
  • muscularman

    Posts: 13

    Nov 22, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    no, he is the only man i want and love
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    If he's cheating then how is he thw love of your life, unless it one sided. Can you live with this kidn of behavior??? If not get out and move on. I say this because I was cheated on. He said he was sorry but I was not hearing him. After he cheated became a totally diffrent person to me.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 22, 2010 3:32 PM GMT
    Never build your world around a single individual....share your world with him instead. This way when something does happen whether it be cheating, the end of a relationship or even death, you still have the strength to go on. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 22, 2010 3:32 PM GMT
    I'd stop typing and screaming in all CAPS and then say.. "Check Please?" and leave.

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    Nov 22, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

    and cry like a little girl....


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  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 22, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    jusTom saidTAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

    and cry like a little girl....


    icon_biggrin.gif



    Very good advice.....every break-up I have experienced I have had to actually cry over the guy in order to move on. It seems that once I cry over a guy and totally get him " out of my system" I can move forward much easier. icon_wink.gif
  • Regina_Guy

    Posts: 406

    Nov 22, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    Well for me personally, there is no such way this relationship would work. If your boy is not willing to keep a monogamous relationship, and you are not interested in an open relationship, it's time for you both to go your separate ways.

    Sorry to hear you are in such a position. I hope you are able to move past this and find a man you is willing to love only you.