Do you lose interest after you have 'cum'

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:11 PM GMT
    So today i had sex with a very sexy hot guy.
    The second i had cum i immediately , as usual lost all interest in the guy and the sex we had had.
    Infact my immediate thought was what i was going to cook for dinner.
    Afterwards i just wanted to say thanks grab a shower and leave. I did not even want to kiss any longer and that is something that i love to do.
    This has been happening more and more lately. I am wondering if i am losing my libido or maybe i am just not a very sexual person any longer.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:18 PM GMT
    I've always been like that, pretty much. I definitely need a bit of a 'cooling off' after sex. Not from a physical point of view, I'd be ready to go again within minutes, but I'm just not up for it immediately. I usually just like to have a shower as soon as possible afterwards. If some more sex follows a bit later than fine, but I have zero interest in the 'post-cum' period.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Nov 22, 2010 12:19 PM GMT
    I usually get that thing when I'm having sex with people I don't really know, or where sex is the main motif of even meeting each other. It's like a switch that turns that sexual fantasy into the real world; where it's not a sexy guy in front of me, it's just a guy who's good-looking and the bed isn't a place for steaming sex it's just a bed. It's like going apathetic, sexually.

    Usually that switch hits afterwards but it's happened during sex in some cases too. For me personally, I'm suspecting it has something to do that I have no interest or intent in investing myself into the person emotionally; I don't know why it's a factor but it is.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:31 PM GMT
    This used to sometimes happen to me when I was younger. As soon as I finished masturbating, I'd not only lose interest in sex, but I'd be somewhat revolted by the pictures or text I had used to excite me, and I'd quickly put them away as if they were contaminated. The effect has never been as great when I'm with another person, however, and now in later life it never happens at all.

    Still, I was amazed by this instant switch-off I'd experience: lusty one moment, disgusted the next. I have to think it's related to some kind of hormone crash following orgasm. And not abnormal, a thing I've heard other guys say.

    Because I realized this might happen, I always made a deliberate effort to cuddle with the guy afterwards, to maintain contact & touch. Men are notorious for rolling away and quickly falling asleep after sex, and I will not insult my bed partner with that kind of behavior, no matter what my hormones are doing.
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    Nov 22, 2010 12:59 PM GMT
    Its a common occurrence and for me like, Buddha if I'm not particularly attractive to someone other than sex.. I start to do other things...If I am in fact into him, snuggle up!!icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 23, 2010 2:09 AM GMT
    It happens to me as well , but the libido comes back in the next 10 minutes , if i take a shower , cuddles , or leaves my hand resting on his chest or stomach or thigh ( a location that turns me on during foreplay ). It seems to create a release of hormones , and i am ready to go again ....
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    Nov 23, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    It has nothing to do with libido. I have less now than I did at your age but after I cum I feel a rush of chemicals and unless it is some pure carnal experience I usually feel affectionate. I have the urge to relax and embrace the guy I'm with. Maybe you need to get in touch with the rush of oxytocin that follow an orgasm. You're missing the best part.
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    Aug 25, 2011 11:08 PM GMT
    Completely lose interest after cumming. Hence, I avoid cumming. When bottoming, I dutifully wait for the top.
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    Aug 26, 2011 2:46 AM GMT
    For that very reason, I always wait to cum last.
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    Aug 26, 2011 4:48 AM GMT
    Makinmywy, guess we would either give up or wear out our genitals trying to outlast the other.
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    Mar 18, 2014 4:09 PM GMT
    This bas to do with the chemicals in your brain. Basically, when you're doing something pleasurable such as sex, your brain is releasing dopamine, as well as other neurotransmitters. Meanwhile, your body I'd also producing hormones. After cumming though, that's when your brain sends its signal to tell you that it's over and you can go home now (I prefer to cuddle). :p

    I can't think of the specific times for all the chemicals (oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, epinephrine, etc.), but that's basically why guys tend to lose interest (a neurotransmitter"hangover") or get sleepy , haha.
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    Mar 18, 2014 4:16 PM GMT
    partouse saidCompletely lose interest after cumming. Hence, I avoid cumming. When bottoming, I dutifully wait for the top.
    well hi there icon_wink.gif
  • Svnw688

    Posts: 3350

    Mar 18, 2014 5:39 PM GMT
    Yap. It's called the plateau or refractory period, has a biological basis from a neurochemical standpoint, and is completely normal.

    Indeed, the urges that need to be satisfied are THIRST, SEX, FOOD and ENTERTAINMENT. So it makes perfect sense that you'd think of food after cumming. Insofar that you're concerned that you're pushing away intimacy or possible relationships, that's a SEPARATE question that only you can answer. But the "get away from me, I'm done" or "I'm sleepy" thing is perfectly normal.
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    Mar 19, 2014 12:10 AM GMT
    I'm always sleepy after I've cum but it's not much of an issue because I've never finished first.

    My ex used to uninterested after he was finished too so I think it's just a guy think. It was awkward though because I had to finish myself off lol
  • PolitiMAC

    Posts: 728

    Mar 19, 2014 12:17 AM GMT
    The Refractory Period, as it is known, is a physiological response from males. Not sure if it is limited to humans, but there it is.

    As we get older, they tend to get longer unfortunately, so I suppose that's why young people are often cast as having a lot more sex icon_razz.gif

    Just after I'm done, I don't get totally detached from it, but I need a break also. Perfectly normal and natural.

    On a similar topic, why do many men say that they get sleepy after orgasming? I never get sleepy. Sure, it's not sex I'm orgasming from, but why get sleepy?

    Ah well. The mysteries of the human mental response icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 19, 2014 12:26 AM GMT
    I guess that's the good thing about being able to stay hard even right after cumming and be able to go multiple times, I rarely have this happen to me. Being bi though I can attest that girls get sleepy afterwards plenty of times too.
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    Mar 19, 2014 12:37 AM GMT
    Miketpa123 saidI guess that's the good thing about being able to stay hard even right after cumming and be able to go multiple times, I rarely have this happen to me. Being bi though I can attest that girls get sleepy afterwards plenty of times too.


    I'm the same. After I've cum I'm ultra sensitive and I likely could have a bit more fun (although I'd be sleepy admittedly) but by time I'd finished myself off my ex had fallen asleep lol.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3516

    Mar 19, 2014 7:46 AM GMT
    you mean the "bitch get me some breakfast" period? lol