Departure.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 15, 2008 3:54 PM GMT
    RealJock has been an interesting and enjoyable site for me for many months. The owners of the site manage it with a deft touch, working very hard to strike a balance between sexiness and good taste, diversity of opinion with a minimum of vitriol, irreverence and respect. They've been sensitive to abusive situations, and responsive to technical issues.
    But more and more I see posts on here which go beyond candor and the expression of personal opinion ~ which are simply abusive. People post things in forums they'd never say to one another face to face. They forget that there are real people on the other side of the computer network who deserve to be treated with civility.
    There's an unspoken social contract in most societies that prevents us from descending to the level of animals. It's the thing that deters us from treating people badly in our daily lives, and from censuring those who do. That contract seems to be increasingly ignored here.
    Perhaps it is my age talking, but I'm tired of the rudeness, and at this point feel that this forum is no longer the place for me.
    I like vigorous discussion, and I appreciate viewpoints that make me reexamine my own beliefs, but I don't like just being jabbed at. It's unpleasant. Life is challenging enough sometimes without intentionally putting myself into the line of fire.
    So, I'm bowing out. Enough is enough.
    But I have sufficient respect for RealJock and for many of you that I feel compelled to state my case, and not just pick up my marbles and go home.
    Try to rein it in a little, won't you, guys? Be good to each other. We all have enough common enemies out there that there is simply no reason for us to stab at one another.
    To my friends on RealJock - most of you have my email and know how to reach me. I hope we can continue our correspondence 1-to-1. My best wishes to all.

    Joey
    PSBigJoey
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
    I have to say I can't agree with Joey more. It really is too bad that a few bad apples CAN spoil the whole bunch, but this is a perfect example of that idea.

    As Joey's partner, and just finding out that he decided to move off of REAL JOCK, I just want to let you good guys know that you have really lost someone special.

    Joey really cares about people. As a personal trainer he goes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond what he should. I am on him all the time that he should not be "so involved" in other men's lives, especially when they don't even listen to the requested advice. Then when they find out that it really does work for them, not even a bit of thanks.

    The net can be a huge time sink. I for one am pleased that Joey has decided to spend more time in other persuits, rather than trying to social comment on issues that really don't mean a hill of beans in reality.

    For you guys who support REAL JOCK.. I say YES! Keep it positive. The guys who run this site are very good men trying to put something out there that can really help others. Their free forum has provided much amusement to me in the past, but I like Joey, will pull my profile off the site as well. In silent support.

    All you guys out there who have contributed to Joey's DEPARTURE....job well done. You should be very proud of yourself! Big ol <<<<>>> and a wet sloppy kiss! SPEEDO MUSCLE Dave
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:08 PM GMT
    Joey and Speedo, we are seriously going to miss you. :-(

    Jeff @ RealJock
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    I would say this is a huge loss to the site. They were both great guys. I know I'll miss their input on the forums.
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:14 PM GMT
    I feel exactly too, Joey. No sure why being obnoxious is the "in" things now. but I'm too old for it too.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 15, 2008 7:45 PM GMT
    I am very saddened that you will be departing Joey..
    You are certainly one whose opinions I read and value.
    I wish you'd reconsider and work to make RJ a better place.. and for those of us to get to know you better.

    If you decide to proceed with your departure, my best wishes to you.. you have much to share and educate.
    I especially appreciated your thread on how you and your partner met!


    Chris
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    Mar 16, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    I'm sad to know that PSBigjoey left RJ.
    I don't know him personally and haven't exchanged any mails with him but his thread posting are some of the few that I really try to follow. Especially those that relates to fitness and work-out.
    Will truely miss him.
    I hope he decides to come back soon.
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    Mar 16, 2008 7:23 AM GMT
    I will miss the intelligent and reasoned commentary of "Joey"....and all that have left us lately on their own or by force of the management. I am sad that anyone feels in some way compelled to leave RJ over "content or personality issues", but I respect their integrity for doing so when it is right for them. I wish you well and we will be the poorer until/if you decide to return. Please be well and take care of each other. We all get tired or pissed off by some of the more rediculous and thoughthless threads and "flame wars". Don't let those inane and childish moments chase you off, just know that your opinion matter to at least one other person out in the virtual world and it may be the spark that changes the world for that person... You matter and it may matter to someone else.......icon_cool.gif Sporty_G
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Mar 17, 2008 12:44 AM GMT
    There are a few "Hidden/Deleted Members" here, and I never could figure out who was who. But just from the tone of Joey's and Dave's messages above, I can remember several posts that I really admired. I wish you guys would reconsider. But I agree with your comments about a good number of members here and I respect your decision to withdraw.

    For all the talk about openness and tolerance and diversity, it really does not exist. Just another lie from another segment of society.

    Joe and Dave, I wish you guys all the best.
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    Mar 17, 2008 12:51 AM GMT
    It is very sad that members that have tried to provide advice do not feel comfortable anymore on RJ.

    At times these forum topics can get quite heated.

    My request to other RJ members is if I say something you think steps over the line, send me an e-mail politely pointing out that you are offended, or that I am not being appropriate. I do not bite, bark or even howl when it is a full moon, and I am always willing to listen to criticism.

    I feel it is better to send someone a personal e-mail then to trash them in a forum. It does neither person credit.
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Mar 17, 2008 1:44 AM GMT
    JB, you're one of the shining lights here on RJ. I always find myself respecting you more and more when I read your posts.
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    Mar 17, 2008 3:14 PM GMT
    ggeo17 saidJB, you're one of the shining lights here on RJ. I always find myself respecting you more and more when I read your posts.


    Thanks ggeo17 it is nice to hear that. I have strong opinions, but I am willing to change them if people can give me good reason to. I try and keep the conversations civilized but I know that some topics can quickly get heated due to their nature.

    We just need to remember that as a disliked minority we need to treat each other better than we do. It is hard enough being ostracized by straights but when it comes from other members of the gay community it is far worse.
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    Mar 17, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    I have a hard time to make my evaluation of his complaint without some examples of the rudenesses referred to.

    I find RJ to be amazingly well-mannered for a web site.

    Personally, I tend to tune out people that I dont click with...and long postings (like I dont post long posting hahahahhahaha). I still dont have the mental capability to remember and pay attention.

    But I can say the last damn thing I would do is let rude people stop me from enjoying this site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 17, 2008 10:02 PM GMT
    sad to see ya go bigjoey as I tended to enjoy your posts but thats a tad pot calling kettle black