My roommate is a slob

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    Nov 24, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    So I asked my friend to move in with me in my one bedroom apartment for financial reasons. I knew he was a slob and thought I could handle it being a clean freak. I can't handle it. He has only been here 3 days and I am his personal maid. When I helped him move form his current place he had cat litter and feces all over the the floor and litter on the bed. That is how he slept. The night he moved in within 30 seconds he already threw a wrapper on the floor. He also keeps everything and now there is so much in my place. He leaves used clothes in the bathroom and he doesn't clean off the counters. Maybe I should just say this isn't going to work but I will probably lose a friendship of 10 years. When I mention anything he gets touchy on the subject. I hope he doesn't read this thread.
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    Nov 24, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    cee87 saidI hope he doesn't read this thread.


    Well, since you've already tried talking to him about it and he gets a little touchy, maybe a little public humiliation will work.

    Just don't let it get to the point will you need the show 'Hoarders' to come in and rescue you.
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    Nov 24, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    I've been in situations like this before. You have to mention it to him in a gentle but firm way, and if he is your friend, he'll understand and work towards doing his part to keep the place clean. If you talk to him and he doesn't change, however, then it's your call to request that he leave, since (I assume) he's not on the lease.
  • masculumpedes

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    Nov 24, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    I feel your pain..I call my roomie...."Messy Marvin" icon_twisted.gif
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    Nov 24, 2010 3:42 AM GMT
    shit on his pillow............he'll either get the message, or you'll be cleaning that up too.............................you invited him, live with it or kick his shit ass on the street.........................................Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Nov 24, 2010 4:09 AM GMT
    It is just frustrating. I am even cleaning out his 2 cats litter box everyday and vacuuming. :s
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    Nov 24, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    I've only had one roommate I could actually get along with. In fact, him and his wife/kids are currently living in the duplex apt next to me.
    Other than him, every single roomy became an evil bitch, regardless of how good of friends we were before moving in.
    Roommates = Evil
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 24, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    I guess in all fairness I should say that this December 30th, my roommate and I will have been living together 7 years.....so I guess he can't be all bad icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 24, 2010 4:31 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidFor one thing.. you don't need to be the one cleaning up after his pets anymore than changing his kid's diapers if he had brought some in tow...If you are sharing the pets.. that's one thing.
    OK.. so here's the skinny. You married the guy one way or the other when you let him move in with you. Sex or No sex... I'm more than guessing the latter... you kinda married him.
    This means you need to prepare yourself for who you are in a living relationship with and if he leaves a dish in the sink... put it away if it bothers you. If he leaves shit sitting around and it bothers you.. toss it in his bedroom and close the door.
    Hounding a roomate.. BF or lover about being who his IS will be the beginning to the end. Decide what you want out of your live in relationship and set some healthy boundaries. I will say,, Stop enabling the guy and cleaning the cat box for him.
    Share that responsibility or give it totally back to him. He only knows how to be himself. You're not a woman.. so don't waste your time trying to change a man...
    HINT: Doesn't work for them either!


    If i don't take care of the litter box he won't. he left it unchanged for an entire year. I really doubt that is a daily priority for him. He said he would change but obviously not. He couldn't even try for 1 day.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Nov 24, 2010 4:40 AM GMT
    I agree with what's been said. You need to be firm with your position. Decide now what your role is. If it is his maid, then continue doing what you're doing. But if it isn't, then have him pick up after himself and clean his own mess.

    I'm not sure what you said to him, but you need to tell him what you're telling us. Explain to him you don't want to lose his friendship, but you cannot live under these conditions. Tell him your expectations of a roommate.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Nov 24, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
    YOU KNEW HE WAS A SLOB BEFORE YOU MOVED HIM IN.
    BONK up side your head.
    Sit him down and tell him that you made a mistake, that you are a neat freak, and that this is not going to work out.
    Give him 30 days to find another place.
    And, don't let him talk you out of it.

    The way he lives gives me the creeps...



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    Nov 24, 2010 5:29 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Webster666 saidHE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
    YOU KNEW HE WAS A SLOB BEFORE YOU MOVED HIM IN.
    BONK up side your head.
    Sit him down and tell him that you made a mistake, that you are a neat freak, and that this is not going to work out.
    Give him 30 days to find another place.
    And, don't let him talk you out of it.
    The way he lives gives me the creeps...

    YEP... he said basically what I was thinking all along.
    It's not going to get any better till he's gone.


    I want to do that but that is hard since I am the one that asked him to move in with me. My lease is up in April.
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    Nov 24, 2010 5:35 AM GMT
    Webster666 saidHE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
    YOU KNEW HE WAS A SLOB BEFORE YOU MOVED HIM IN.
    BONK up side your head.
    Sit him down and tell him that you made a mistake, that you are a neat freak, and that this is not going to work out.
    Give him 30 days to find another place.
    And, don't let him talk you out of it.

    The way he lives gives me the creeps...


    Agreed 100%. You're making excuses for him. Stop it. Tell him it was a mistake, and that he needs to go.