Heartbroken :[

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 24, 2010 6:10 PM GMT
    Long story short,
    I met this great guy his name is Nick.. I started talking to him.. day one, I saw a text message.. from another guy.. I asked who it was.. He told me it was this guy hes been talking to online for about a month. (I brushed it off because he was over the internet and I wasn't official with him or anything) As time goes by.. I get more attatched to this guy and we get closer and closer.. At the same time hes still balancing talking to this guy online.. and me.. I tell him (Nick) how I feel.. and I eventually learn to deal with it (stupid I know) It was so hard to hate him for it because hes been 100% honest with me from the beginning..
    Eventually I fell for Nick, and 3 months from now.. He tells me he wants to wait for this guy online and he is in love with him.. After everything we've physically, emotionally been through he tells me hes in love with someone online.. Which makes me feel like I'm not good enough because I gave him my 100%
    I've come to a an understanding, that I don't want to be with him anymore.. I don't want his love.. He loves another person.. However, I can't shake him.. Hes like a bad habit I keep going back to and I cant get over him. I need to erase him from my mind. We did everything for each other. He was the sweetest guy to me, I've never been treated that way by anyone else.. He cooked me dinner, did little suprises for me, bought me stuff and held me in public with no fear..
    He went to go visit his friends and he went to this other guys place and they got intimate. I feel cheated.... This is the 3rd time I've been cheated and screwed over... We got along so well, I feel we are so compatible and so easy for each other.. What is it that I'm doing or not doing?? Why was my love in person, not good enough for this guys love that was through the internet??
    How does someone deal with something like this? It really hurts...
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    Nov 24, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    Ugh, it happened to me but a bit different lol all i can say to you is to concentrate on an activity that involves your mental and physical capacities.
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    Nov 24, 2010 10:56 PM GMT
    I'm so sorry icon_cry.gif

    I pray that things will get better for you, the only way forward is up now. It's difficult, I guess it has to hurt like holy hell and then you can move on icon_sad.gif

    If you ever need to chat you can always email me ok?

    Chin up bud.
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    Nov 24, 2010 11:00 PM GMT
    @ tkhbn: you're incredibly cute, play video games, have an adorable smile and sound like a nice guy. You will meet PLENTY of other hot guys. Trust me. icon_cool.gif

    I know it's tough and it hurts, but this was only a few months. Life is definitely not "fair". You'll get over it - even more-so when you meet other people. Try not to limit your options. Hang in there kiddo. You'll be ok in a bit. Most of us have been here before one way or another. icon_neutral.gif
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    Nov 24, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    *cyber hugs* Hope it gets easier for you - it's always sucks but in the end the support from ur current & new RJ friends....will help you through it!
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    Nov 24, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vx6DtgW_uh0

    'Now i'm just waiting, cuz I head that this feeling won't last that long'

    Try to keep positive. :-)
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    Nov 25, 2010 12:09 AM GMT
    Thank you all... I really appreciate it.. It really helps me through the moment and the day.. Then comes another vicious battle the next day that I will have to fight through.. Sometimes I feel like I wont get through it, but I know I will.. Your comments and support really help.. Never thought venting to a bunch of random strangers could actually be so helpful.. So thank you, once again.
    One thing I do know is,
    I did not deserve this. His Loss
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    Nov 25, 2010 12:17 AM GMT
    I'm speechless... Tal, see how much support you have?
    F*ck him
    you need to cut him off
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    Nov 25, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    Hey Bud - delete this post and don't ever let this person enable you to post something such as this. Believe me....PLENTY of hotter guys who are worth giving time too.

    Fuck him icon_wink.gif

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    Nov 25, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    seriously, if you really think about it... it's your fault for letting yourself into the heartache you're in. You were delusional of the love that was never there. For in fact, if the guy really loves you, there's be no other guy online or anywhere else. The fact that you knew there was someone else in between and still continued to allow yourself to fall for such shallow reasons is predictable of the bitter outcome.

    to get over such things, think about reasons why would you love someone who doesn't love you, unless you're a martyr.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 25, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    Make yourself cry over him.....it always works for me....icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 25, 2010 12:34 AM GMT
    I am always sad to hear that hapening to some nice guy so a big hug from me man i hope you are good.icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 25, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    Q. What is it that I'm doing or not doing??
    A. What you did was enable his behavior. You said he was upfront about this other guy online, and all the clues were there, but you continued to get deeper into it against perhaps your better judgment. Unfortunately, you have to own that part. You took a risk on love, but he took no risk as he could have you, and this other guy on the side which gave him the luxury of choice in the end. What you are not doing is standing up for yourself earlier. You saw the signs. You could have stopped before you got too emotionally involved. (Not easy, for sure though, I know) Next time, you will know better and you will be stronger. And trust me, you'll meet other guys just like this again, but you won't fall in the same trap if you learn from this experience. icon_wink.gif

    Q. Why was my love in person, not good enough for this guys love that was through the internet??
    A. Because some guys want what they perceive they can't have. You were present, real, and accessible. While he enjoyed your company, he was taking you for granted,and perhaps afraid to commit to the real deal. A lot of guys prefer the thrill of the hunt, and this guy online is more inaccessible, mysterious, and therefore more alluring to him.

    Q. How does someone deal with something like this? It really hurts...
    A. The best remedy is to stay away from him. Remove any photos or sentimental objects from your home. Keep busy. Invest in time with your real friends. Over time, you will find he will become a distant memory.

    Just my two cents. Good luck. I know its tough! Hang in there.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Pygmalion

    Posts: 131

    Nov 25, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    Its good to have a broken heart, it means..that you tried for something..
    I hope you will find a person who deserves you and will treat you well, very soon!
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    Nov 25, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    Just get away from him altogether, no being friends and stuff. He was honest with you about talking with this other guy but at the same time kept you around as a back-up. Is that the kind of guy you want to waste your emotions on.
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    Nov 25, 2010 3:05 AM GMT

    "We did everything for each other. He was the sweetest guy to me, I've never been treated that way by anyone else.. He cooked me dinner, did little suprises for me, bought me stuff and held me in public with no fear."


    So you know now, even better, what clicks for you. Now leave this guy behind; coming up is someone that will do the same AND love you right back.

    -Doug
  • Iwant2know

    Posts: 8

    Nov 25, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    This is exactly what I happened to me. I sense you still hope your friend will be back to you since you get along so well. If there is, false hope is dangerous. You have to realize that he will never be back, he is your past. I know it's hard. But you need to break away from the past. Talk to friend, discuss with RJ, work on your positivity like exercise, work, family, try not be alone. Hug.
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    Nov 25, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    tkhbn saidHow does someone deal with something like this? It really hurts...

    Well, for what it's worth, I lived in Seattle 5 years, and found the gay community there to be very shallow. Meaning it's mostly them who are the problem, and not you.

    So don't blame yourself, blame this other guy, and keep looking for a keeper. Difficult as that is in Seattle, I know. And following meninlove's advice, consider this a learning experience you'll apply to the next guy.
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    Nov 25, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    the best way to get over someone is finding someone GREATER than the last one.
  • southernT

    Posts: 33

    Nov 25, 2010 4:20 AM GMT
    Be positive and do some traveling or go outside so you don't feel depress. May be this is not a right person for you and the special one still waiting for you. Close an old chapter and open a new one. Happy Thankgiving.
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    Nov 25, 2010 4:37 AM GMT
    So where's the short version?

    Oh well,
    Here's a hug for you:
    >icon_smile.gif<

    You'll find someone. Give it time.
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    Nov 25, 2010 4:41 AM GMT
    hes stupid.

    he fell in love with the idea of what this "internet love" could be, reality will slap him in the face eventually. and hell come to regret letting you go.

    move on, theres tons of of other guys who do deserve your love, trust me :].
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    Im sorry man. We've all had our hearts broken at some point, you're not alone.
  • bmoney1

    Posts: 244

    Nov 28, 2010 4:09 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    "We did everything for each other. He was the sweetest guy to me, I've never been treated that way by anyone else.. He cooked me dinner, did little suprises for me, bought me stuff and held me in public with no fear."


    So you know now, even better, what clicks for you. Now leave this guy behind; coming up is someone that will do the same AND love you right back.

    -Doug



    There is a lot of truth in this, as far as addressing your questions.. In my mind, they cannot be answered.. Who knows what he was thinking. People do very strange things, and I personally think it is a waste of time and energy to figure people out. As far as getting over him, (of equal importance) you have to first forgive him for leading you on in a sense, and never forget how much he didn't appreciate you.. I would rather be alone forever than be with someone who takes me for granted.. good luck and divert your tme and energy to other things and people..
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    Nov 28, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    Time to stop wasting time on this, and move forward to something new.

    Live and learn.

    You FAILED to see the obvious; now, your delusion is all broken.

    ACCEPT that he doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about him and THERE'S NOT A THING THAT YOU CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

    Put your energy in a positive direction. MOVE ON.

    Stop wasting time being miserable. It accomplishes NOTHING.