how did guys meet guys before the internet?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2010 7:13 PM GMT
    okay so i'm trying this section of RJ as everyone is a bit useless at responding to my thread over in the All Things Gay section.

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    perhaps the older guys would be able to shed some light on this, but today it's so easy to meet other guys, where it be for sex, dating or whatever else you please.

    so before the internet, what did guys do to actually meet other guys? i'm especially interested in the casual sex part.

    did you have to go to gay clubs (i suspect not as open back then tho??), did you cruise shopping malls?

    how did it all work back then? i'm really interested to know.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 25, 2010 7:21 PM GMT
    Bars and friends.

    I've never been one for hooking up with strangers, though.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Nov 25, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    The very first place I met gay guys was a gay youth group I attended when I came out in high school. This was here in Houston during the late 1980s, and the group -- which I understand is still around and going strong -- was sponsored by the Unitarian-Universalist church, which gave us a room where we could meet and an "adult liason" to keep an eye on us.

    However, the church was afraid of being targeted by gay bashers and even facing legal problems because of some Texas statute against "promoting homosexuality," so the group was an all-too-well-kept secret. I found out about it by calling the gay switchboard, but the guy taking my call only told me the meeting time and location after screening me fairly thoroughly.

    After that, it was bars and clubs, but my luck varied dramatically depending on what city I was living in (and probably what was going on with me at the time). I moved to London when I was 19 and it was phenomenally easy to get laid. Ditto San Francisco years later. I did okay in Boston, but rarely got laid in Minneapolis or Atlanta.

    Looking back, I think the common thread for me was that hooking up was much easier in cities with good mass transit and/or walkablility, probably because I was less inhibited about drinking in those cities -- and therefore less inhibited.

    One thing I think the Internet has changed is that because it is relatively easier to find casual sex online, people who go to bars and clubs are more likely to really and truly be there for the music and socializing than in the old days, when (in many cases) they just said they were.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2010 8:14 PM GMT
    thanks for your reply. that's very interesting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2010 9:37 PM GMT
    Hi musefreek


    I dated a guy I met on the Internet a few years ago but made sure that we wore protection when having sex for the first time.

    I've known friends, one recently, who hooked up with guys over the net and had sex with them without protection. My recent friend did the same and was worried he had caught AIDS and had to go to a sexual health clinic -Freedom Health and be tested for HIV. Below is the link,

    http://www.freedomhealth.co.uk/sexual-health/hiv-test-hiv-testing-london/125/

    He got the all clear but it was a situation he could have easily avoided should he wore condom.

    Have you got with a guy off the net and ever had unprotected sex?


    Joe
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    Nov 25, 2010 10:10 PM GMT
    There were cool dance clubs/bars with live bands in and around San Francisco. I went to college in Palo Alto and it was common to go with buddies who had cars up to SF for all kinds of fun. You could meet all the guys you wanted - no matter if it was for long term or just one night things. I'm talking the very late 70's and into the 80's. Great memories!

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    JosephLewis saidHi musefreek


    I dated a guy I met on the Internet a few years ago but made sure that we wore protection when having sex for the first time.

    I've known friends, one recently, who hooked up with guys over the net and had sex with them without protection. My recent friend did the same and was worried he had caught AIDS and had to go to a sexual health clinic -Freedom Health and be tested for HIV. Below is the link,

    http://www.freedomhealth.co.uk/sexual-health/hiv-test-hiv-testing-london/125/

    He got the all clear but it was a situation he could have easily avoided should he wore condom.

    Have you got with a guy off the net and ever had unprotected sex?


    Joe


    er... thanks for caring?!!

    not really the point at all of this thread, but yes, i'm always safe.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Nov 25, 2010 10:51 PM GMT
    Thinking more about your question, although I never did this myself, I've met guys who hooked up in restrooms, parks, rest stops and other public places. Probably in most cases this was because they had no other options, especially in the old days. But I met some openly gay guys who were into it for the illicit thrill and the extreme anonymity (which can also be found in bathhouses/sex clubs). Too impersonal for me.

    The British playwright Joe Orton kept diaries chronicling his escapades during the 1960s. I remember reading his biography, Prick Up Your Ears, and seeing the film around the time I was coming out. Kind of thrilling and appalling at the same time.