shan37 saidcan mormons even be gay? whats the possiblity?
You don't say whether he's gay or not, returns your interest or is even aware of it. Before answering the question regarding his being a Mormon, the more fundamental issue may be whether he's just some eye-candy fantasy of yours, his religion being less material than his orientation.
But on that point, my own experience is that Mormons can indeed be both gay and emotionally well-adjusted. But also that when the effects of their very controlling culture still influence them (for indeed Mormonism functions as a culture that can reach into all aspect of their lives, being much more than just a few hours in a church once a week), the results can be unpleasant for themselves and their gay lovers.
I've learned to use a "safe sex plus" approach with every man I meet -- I not only assume he's HIV poz, but also a bit mental, too, and take appropriate safeguards against both possibilities. Only when time proves him safe & sane do I drop the safeguards. Doing that makes the issue of his religion, whether Mormon or otherwise, as well as other potentially negative influences such as family, politics & community, less of a concern to me.
Contradictory though it may seem, assuming every gay man I meet may be emotionally unstable makes me LESS prejudiced regarding his religion, and less afraid of it.
The Seattle guy who brought me out, my gay mentor, was a former Mormon originally from Oregon. (Seattle seemed to have quite a few of them when I lived there) He was very well-adjusted, friendly & generous, active in the gay community, one of the nicest and most decent guys I ever met.
On the other hand, an ex-BF of mine took up with a Mormon with disastrous results, directly related to the guy's religion. He suddenly was consumed with guilt over his gay involvement with my ex, made a public confession of his gay sins from the church pulpit to the whole congregation, asking for forgiveness, and named my ex to them, blaming him for his downfall! Someone who's a very prominent non-Mormon member of the community who was himself still closeted.
Plus, the Mormon went to the YMCA management and charged my ex with having fondled him in the men's naked hot tub, which got my ex's membership suspended while a 2-month-long investigation was conducted. What saved my ex was this guy also falsely charging 5 other prominent straight men with the same thing, whose unanimous testimony denying the charges got the Mormon himself expelled from the Y, and the others all reinstated.
But it frightened my ex from having anything more to do with Mormon gays. Whereas I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt, believing a great many gay men of all backgrounds are a bit unhinged anyway, as I said above. You might take the same prudent approach with this guy in class. Assuming first, of course, that he's really gay, available & interested.