dating an ex-married guy

  • Iwant2know

    Posts: 8

    Nov 27, 2010 12:11 AM GMT
    This guy got divorce from many years marriage and started dating guys. We were just playmate and grew very quickly into boyfriends. I am his first serious gay relationship since marriage. I had a short relationship and it ended badly. I am looking forward to having a stable relationship with this guy. When I told him about my feeling of relationship, he said I am his precious one. Being someone's first partner is always of many uncertainties.

    Here I just cast a small survey in ex-marriage guys. How did your first gay relationship after marriage last? what problem did you meet with your guy? What make it work or cause it broke up? I just want to get perspective from people who have similar backgrounds.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 27, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    i am my bf's first post-str8-marriage bf.

    we "had" other guys before finding each other, but nothing serious.

    over 2 years now and we are showing NO signs of ending.

    quite the opposite.....

    as we text each other "it keeps getting better and better everytime we are together".

    icon_cool.gif
  • timmytwister

    Posts: 169

    Nov 27, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    Just curious... does he have kids?

    I've never been involved with a woman, but I was seriously involved with a guy who came out AFTER getting married and having a kid. The ex wife was bitter and hostile. But he loved his kid (good thing) so he had to cope with her. The whole thing was too messy for me and it ultimately meant the end of our relationship.

    If he has kids, be aware that he will almost certainly have close contact with the ex wife (and probably her family) for the rest of his life. And those interactions might not be pleasant, since she and her family could very well harbour sour resentment.

    Be careful what you're getting into.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2010 6:27 AM GMT
    timmytwister saidJust curious... does he have kids?

    I've never been involved with a woman, but I was seriously involved with a guy who came out AFTER getting married and having a kid. The ex wife was bitter and hostile. But he loved his kid (good thing) so he had to cope with her. The whole thing was too messy for me and it ultimately meant the end of our relationship.

    If he has kids, be aware that he will almost certainly have close contact with the ex wife (and probably her family) for the rest of his life. And those interactions might not be pleasant, since she and her family could very well harbour sour resentment.

    Be careful what you're getting into.


    Not always the case as in my wife, who is my best support system, and would greet my bf (if I had one) with nothing but graciousness and happiness. I had one quick fling after I came out, and while still married, with full knowledge of my wife. The fling was purely sexual and we see each other now and then as friends only. Married or not, look at the guy. If you feel for him then follow your heart. Everyone has baggage and there is no mr. right 100% of the time..................Keithicon_cool.gif
  • Iwant2know

    Posts: 8

    Nov 29, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    My guy have 2 adult children. His family live close to his apartment. He is still a full-duty dad. I don't know about his wife. I guess she is coping in a silent way. But his kids are strongly resentful. I am not in any hurry to make friends with his family. In the present stage, we just enjoy our time together. I don't know how his family will affect our relationship. I heard both positive and negative (in your case) impact of ex-married gay's family on post marriage gay relationship. Unfortunately, negatives outnumber positives.

    So how long after you dated the guy you decided to pull the plug?




    timmytwister saidJust curious... does he have kids?

    I've never been involved with a woman, but I was seriously involved with a guy who came out AFTER getting married and having a kid. The ex wife was bitter and hostile. But he loved his kid (good thing) so he had to cope with her. The whole thing was too messy for me and it ultimately meant the end of our relationship.

    If he has kids, be aware that he will almost certainly have close contact with the ex wife (and probably her family) for the rest of his life. And those interactions might not be pleasant, since she and her family could very well harbour sour resentment.

    Be careful what you're getting into.