Rejection

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    Nov 29, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    I finally put myself out there and try to find some normal guys out in the real world and I got shot down. By a guy that views me as just a friend... icon_sad.gif I hate that feeling. Now, every time we hang out, it won't be the same.

    It hurts a lot more in person than online... but despite the fact that it didn't work out, I'm going to continue trying to put myself out there and have a good time and try to meet other guys. It's better than meeting guys online 2000 miles away you know you'll never meet.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:13 AM GMT
    You called the thread "Rejection." I call it a learning process.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:18 AM GMT
    what buddy said.. you aren't necessarily rejected just because you don't mesh......If your mind matches your hot body and looks then chalk it up to experience....a natural part of becoming a man.....if your mind falls short of the looks, then do your homework.....best of luck brother.............Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    It just sucks cause it's the first time meeting a guy out in public, actually putting myself out there and seeing how it goes. I've decided to take a turn away from the online thing now.

    I know it's a learning experience... but learning experiences SUCK.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:43 AM GMT
    The first time really hurts. So does the second time. The third time too. The fourth kinda. The fifth also kinda. Then the sixth, seventh, eight and 9th happen and you're like ok I can totally do 20 or 30 more of these, easy. And ladies and gentleman that's how life goes icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 29, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    I think it's the fact that I'm living in a small town too. No not Lansing, but a different town where I work. It's harder to find good guys to date.
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    Nov 29, 2010 4:29 AM GMT
    Allathlete saidIt just sucks cause it's the first time meeting a guy out in public, actually putting myself out there and seeing how it goes. I've decided to take a turn away from the online thing now.
    I know it's a learning experience... but learning experiences SUCK.


    But remember "suck" = both good and enjoyable (for both parties involved) when done well, preferably by someone skilled!

    I've built up a darn good database in my brain for judging mens' desirability based on years of experience. It is extremely helpful and accurate when cruising in a bar or elsewhere. Sometimes I test it and am rarely mislead. When I am mislead I trouble-shoot to refine my understanding. Look for 'body language' - attitude, mannerism, relaxed/tense, amongst other things. It's a learning game without hurting anyone. One shouldn't realistically expect 'to score' each time one goes out to a bar, etc. But keeping that database updated through observation is rewarding, exciting, and a great investment of time already spent.
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    Nov 29, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    BuddyinNYC saidYou called the thread "Rejection." I call it a learning process.


    Mmmhmmm...
    We've ALL been there.
    Stay Strong.
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    Nov 29, 2010 5:54 AM GMT
    His loss man. you're smokin
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:12 AM GMT
    Metalslugger saidHis loss man. you're smokin



    Exactly!

    I'm in a similar situation where I courted a hot younger guy for 3 months and well, I know now we just need to be friends... Its tough because hanging out will not be as intimate as before and will also feel different... If the friendship was important then keep it, accept it, and know that you are their for one another if needed. You can't make someone want you, but you can't have someone ignore you.

    Put yourself out there and have a great time you deserve it and you'll find it.
  • DrewT

    Posts: 1327

    Nov 29, 2010 7:18 AM GMT
    Yes, rejection stings, but in the end, would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? And you can't tell me you've never rejected someone. That's one thing I really dislike doing, but I've done over and over. I know how much it hurts, but I'm doing them a favor in the long run. Cheer up, you've got plenty of time.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Nov 29, 2010 7:19 AM GMT
    Rejection does suck, but unless you want to live your life alone, you have to put yourself out there. But a "friend" is not a rejection. He's just not in a place where he wants more from you right now. Sure, that might be all it ever is, but DUDE, you are drop-dead gorgeous! If you have a personality to match, you won't be wanting of men. You have a lot to offer. You have to sometimes give it time. It'll be worth it when it happens.
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:19 AM GMT
    You live you learn. At least your not letting this defeat you and put you totally out the game.

    Dust yourself off and try again bro! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:27 AM GMT
    Atleast your putting yourself out there... got more balls than me right now! Trying to do the same, baby steps though. Well its all a learning process, you lose sometimes and win other times.
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:28 AM GMT
    Rejection? What is this word you are using??
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
    Allathlete saidI think it's the fact that I'm living in a small town too. No not Lansing, but a different town where I work. It's harder to find good guys to date.


    I think that can make rejection seem all the worse. When there is more than a few good options you can just shake it off the rejection, but when it feels like there's only three gay guys in the whole world it feels a lot heavier icon_confused.gif. You good. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 29, 2010 10:11 AM GMT
    Rejected YOU???? icon_eek.gif

    The guy's insane

    I'd be gushing like a school girl if I had a chance with you
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Nov 29, 2010 10:13 AM GMT


    If being with a Guy was that Easy...This site wouldn't need to Exist icon_lol.gif

    Better luck Next time icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:12 PM GMT
    5ebastian said

    My favorite line that my friend used on a chick was

    "im ricky martin's backup dancer"

    she replied "is that suppose to impress me"...

    awkward experience but I thought his approach is a lot better than most people. Eventually you just gotta not give a fuck anymore. Harder said than done.


    Yeah, the hard part is not giving a fuck... I tend to care about every aspect of my life, including trying to better myself to get guys to notice.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    dragondevil said You can't make someone want you, but you can't have someone ignore you.


    I like this quote, a lot.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:16 PM GMT
    Simply_Drew saidYes, rejection stings, but in the end, would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? And you can't tell me you've never rejected someone. That's one thing I really dislike doing, but I've done over and over. I know how much it hurts, but I'm doing them a favor in the long run. Cheer up, you've got plenty of time.


    Right on the money. Yes I have rejected others, but mostly they were people on here that have no decency and that were looking for an easy fuck... Of course I shot them down, and I shot them down hard.

    It's just a little different when it's a guy you know and are friends with.
  • mks310

    Posts: 24

    Nov 29, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    One thing I would really like to add is that.. he may feel that way today.
    But you never know if he will feel differently later. He may end up deciding
    he's got strong feelings for you. This happens all the time and the best relationships are those that start as friendships.

    This sounds really Disney-happy but I've seen it happen many times.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:25 PM GMT
    Metalslugger saidHis loss man. you're smokin


    I've been told on and on "oh, you are gorgeous, you have a great bod, blah, blah, blah..." and you'd think I'd take people's word for it... But then why don't I have the confidence to be a little more aggressive and outspoken when meeting guys?

    I'm the shy one, who feels like you'd love me if you really got to know me and got to see how much of an awesome guy I am... However, most people these days (including myself unfortunately) are quick to judge on appearance or demeanor, and don't get to see the how cool I really am.

    And for this fellor who just wants to be friends, he knows me... which makes it a bit worse.
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    Nov 29, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    Allathlete said
    Metalslugger saidHis loss man. you're smokin


    ...
    I'm the shy one, who feels like you'd love me if you really got to know me and got to see how much of an awesome guy I am... However, most people these days (including myself unfortunately) are quick to judge on appearance or demeanor, and don't get to see the how cool I really am.

    And for this fellor who just wants to be friends, he knows me... which makes it a bit worse.


    oh i know that feeling. you must be always thinking about romance and that is why words don't spill out when we see a guy with charming personality.

    I wish you all the goodness.

    venky
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Nov 29, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    Allathlete saidI finally put myself out there and try to find some normal guys out in the real world and I got shot down. By a guy that views me as just a friend... icon_sad.gif I hate that feeling. Now, every time we hang out, it won't be the same.

    It hurts a lot more in person than online... but despite the fact that it didn't work out, I'm going to continue trying to put myself out there and have a good time and try to meet other guys. It's better than meeting guys online 2000 miles away you know you'll never meet.



    "If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you're not the girl I thought you were." – Professor Stromwell