DDF. Does that mean HIV-

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:41 AM GMT
    I asked an online ''friend'' of mine his HIV status prior to us meeting up.
    He replied '' I am DDF and only PLAY SAFE''.

    Is that meant to mean that he is HIV- or is he just skirting around the issue of telling me that he is HIV + by not disclosing his definitive status and highlighting the fact that he only plays safe( A question I did not ask him incidentally as safe play is mandatory as far as I am concerned) so being HIV+ would not be a problem anyway ?
  • tommyboi

    Posts: 64

    Nov 29, 2010 11:59 AM GMT
    Well DDF means drug & disease free so I would assume he is HIV- but you should assume everyone you have sex with is HIV+ and play safe with everyone!
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Nov 29, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    DDF means HIV negative, but if you're not getting the answer that you want, you should rephrase your question.
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    Nov 29, 2010 12:31 PM GMT
    I prefer to he told DDf rather than HIV neg cuz there's other diseases out therebesides HIV but I'd still play it safe
  • jessetriguy

    Posts: 339

    Nov 29, 2010 1:27 PM GMT
    Maybe start using STD FREE instead of DDF?
  • TxGrunt

    Posts: 71

    Nov 29, 2010 2:23 PM GMT
    DDF means hiv neg.

    however, in addition to any way you phrase the question, my strong suggestion is that you ALSO directly ASK "are you HIV neg or poz?" If the response is neg, then I would ask when was the last test.

    folks need to get comfortable asking and answering. its part of life and its too important to allow people to play games intentionally or unintentionally.

    even still regardless of what some people answer, it may not be truthful or it may not be recent.

    just my 2 cents

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:13 PM GMT
    You've been reading too many CraigsList 'Men seeking Men' postings.
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    Nov 29, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    tommyboi saidWell DDF means drug & disease free so I would assume he is HIV- but you should assume everyone you have sex with is HIV+ and play safe with everyone!

    Agree. People can be asymptomatic and have an STD without knowing it, yet still be capable of infecting a sex partner.

    This is particularly true for HIV, since the antibody markers that are used to diagnose its presence are not detectable until several weeks to several months after infection, depending upon the testing method used.

    Therefore, a man can honestly tell you he believes he's DDF, or STD-free, or HIV neg, and yet have been unknowingly infected with HIV a few weeks earlier. He could even have taken an HIV rapid test that very morning with negative results, and show them to you, and still be contagious and capable of infecting you just as if he'd been poz for over a year.

    As you say, safe sex = assuming every new sex partner is poz, and using a condom with him, no matter what he claims.
  • jimjock

    Posts: 278

    Nov 29, 2010 7:55 PM GMT
    Regret is a bitch.

    People lie.

    People are mistaken.

    People are selfish.

    Trust but verify.

    Wouldocouldashoulda is not in the dictionary but regret, mistake, responsibility, and respect are.

    Expecting someone else to play by your rules is a luxury of imposing a self-reference criterion. Is this a luxury you want to afford?
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    Nov 29, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    TxGruntJok said...my strong suggestion is that you ALSO directly ASK "are you HIV neg or poz?" If the response is neg, then I would ask when was the last test.

    Please read my last reply above. The date of the last test does nothing to establish whether a man is negative today. The best a man can do is tell you if he's positive, but saying that he's negative has virtually no value, and the date does not help.

    For one thing, he may be lying. Second, even if he shows you the results from an HIV test taken that very same day, the "blackout period" for the HIV markers in the blood to appear can be several months following his infection, depending upon the test used. In other words, he can be infected today, carrying the virus, but it's too early for testing to detect it.

    In fact, if he did an oral swab like the OraQuick test, that gives an answer under 30 minutes, the results are not valid for a time window less than 3 months prior. The test may establish that he was negative 3 months ago, but not 2 months ago, or 1 month, and certainly not whether he's negative today.

    Yet he will still be infectious today, still capable of infecting you, showing no symptoms himself in most cases (sometimes cold-like symptoms will appear briefly after initial infection). So a sexually active man's always trailing this window of uncertainty behind him, no way to say that he's absolutely clean TODAY, only that he was clean at some point in the past.

    And the only way to avoid that unknown risk is for both sex partners to be 100% monogamous for 3 to 6 months, be tested at the end of that period, and remain 100% monogamous throughout their relationship. As soon as one cheats or they have unsafe group sex together, the clock needs to start all over again during which only safe sex is permissible until they retest negative.

    And of course each partner places his life in the hands of the other with this approach, because if one cheats he could kill both of them. I lost my previous partner in this very way, ultimately killed by his own late partner.

    When I met him his previous partner had already infected him through cheating outside their supposedly monogamous relationship, that cheating partner subsequently dying of AIDS before we met. And then the infected surviving partner, who'd become my own partner by then, developed AIDS and died, too, just a few years after we had gotten together. But I knew about his HIV from the beginning, because he had told me, and so we practiced safe sex at all times and I remain negative.
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    Nov 29, 2010 11:35 PM GMT
    CHIdude saidYou've been reading too many CraigsList 'Men seeking Men' postings.


    I've been on the M4M section before... to see what's out there- icon_confused.gif and because some of those posts are funny.
    -But they usually say, "DDF and HIV-" -so it's always best to ask them to clarify.