21 and no serious relationships? Bad or no?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    I'm 21 and have never been in a serious relationship... I mean I know I'm still young and in college and I don't have to settle down with the "one" just yet because I'm still young. But does it make me look bad that I'm 21 and have never had a serious boyfriend or anything? I'm closeted so it is hard. Will it make guys not want to date me?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    Dude I'm 27 and I have yet to be in a relationship with a guy and I'm not open about sexuality either...So don't worry too much...You ain't a freak to be single.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Nov 30, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    Will it make guys not want to date you? Yes, it's possible there are guys who will reject you for it, but that just means you are not compatible with them. There is no real, innate value placed on the age in which you enter a serious relationship. It's neither good, nor bad.

    But then again, I'm a 29 UglyFormerCollegeDude who has yet to be in a serious relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 1:54 AM GMT
    Nahh, you're fine. I'm 21 and never been in a relationship either, I'm not in the closet but just haven't really met anyone where we've had things in common. Give it time, you're not damaged goods yet. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:18 AM GMT
    Relationships at your age is overrated... Your 21 go out and meet people... If you find someone you want to be exclusive with you will know it. Being in the closet won't help you expand your horizons on finding other gay men... You'll have to stick with online dating and subliminal messages from other gay men as opposed to being physically out there... I came out of the closet when I as 15 and went right back in after my parents shuned me away so it was hard for me to find anyone (boy or girl). As I got older and started accepting myself more, I started attracting others. You will too in our out of the closet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:20 AM GMT
    hang in there guy,
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    it doesnt matter that u havent been in a relationship.

    and honestly, if ur closested u shoudlnt be in a relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:23 AM GMT
    I turn 25 in a month and still haven't been in one...but I'm still in college too...not a lot of time to meet people in an appropriate environment...ie I don't hit on my classmates and people at work I'm not allowed to date anyway.

    I've also been "out" as an undergrad and not really am out as a grad...as an undergrad I at least went to a few non-alcoholic LGBT events...never found anyone with mutual interest though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    Worry when you're 31.

    (and I tell the 31-year-olds "41", the 41-year-olds "51", etc.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    to the OP - No, 21 is not too old to have not yet been in a relationship.

    I agree with Voice22 in that it is probably better to get to a point where you are not closeted and more comfortable before having a relationship...however, that's just my point of view.

    I wish for you to consider exploring some things that bring you closer to being out - it's healthier for your psyche...and you just might attract more healthier guys if you are out (not a given, but, most people in the mental health field would probably agree with me).

    Best of luck!
  • fitartistsf

    Posts: 638

    Nov 30, 2010 3:52 AM GMT
    Hey, I got you beat... try 48, and never had a boyfriend, a relationship, or a partner... and NOT for lack of trying.... I've dated a guy for about 2-3 months, then the guy leaves... I'm told, over and over again, that I'm one of the nicest guys they've ever met, so I don't think it's me...
    It's not set in stone that EVERYONE will have a mate, gay or straight. In fact, most people will go through their entire lives and never meet, "the one"... it's all just luck... some have it, some don't....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 4:43 AM GMT
    HotCollegeDude saidI'm 21 and have never been in a serious relationship... I mean I know I'm still young and in college and I don't have to settle down with the "one" just yet because I'm still young. But does it make me look bad that I'm 21 and have never had a serious boyfriend or anything? I'm closeted so it is hard. Will it make guys not want to date me?


    At 21, you're much to young to be worrying about relationships.

    If you're a closet case, then, you likely have a bunch of baggage that most folks won't be willing to deal with. You need to take care of that, first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 4:46 AM GMT
    Don't worry dude. When I was 21 I could count the times I had sex on the fingers of one hand, let alone that I ever had anything even remotely resembling a relationship.

    Not that I'm a good example.

    But seriously, don't sweat it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 5:00 AM GMT
    I'm 21, and know exactly how you feel, however our generation isn't relationship programmed. Just relax as everyone else is advising on here...the one will come when you least expect it. Your definitely not a weirdo...
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Nov 30, 2010 5:03 AM GMT
    I'm 21, soon to graduate college, and have yet to be in any form of a "relationship," at any point of my life despite me being out to almost everyone. It is very common so don't think too much into it.

    As I've said in another related post, the pressure to date, especially in college, is extremely high, as you see many of your hetero-peers dating since high school, and most of them have had at least one or more relationship by mid-college.

    You cannot compare yourself to them. Sets you up for disappointment as heteros quite frankly have a much easier time finding other people. A simple example is they can just assume the other person is straight; it's the majority. Gay guys have to be much more pro-active, which unfortunately is more time consuming, when it comes to finding guys. Which, as an engineering major, I just really do not have. (Instead I'm wasting time on RealJock typing this icon_twisted.gif ) Whereas the heteros can for example just sort of bump into each other in class and ask each other out on the date with none of the: 'if he likes the same gender mind-games crap' that sometimes we have to go through.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Nov 30, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    I didn't have my first until I was 23...so you're fine icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    I think your ok. I was 24 when I had my serious one. Even lost my virginity along with my common sense lol. First you must ask yourself what can you give to a relationship? If you don't know give yourself more time. Also if you have a fun social life. Just the longer you wait the harder it is to find out what you really want. Many people choose partners who they have nothing in common with. Just because a guy is good, doe not mean he's good for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    I am 22 and sitll a virgin my friend i hope to find the right guy icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    Good Lord, no! It's absolutely not bad.
    You're so young, and you have so much time ahead of you.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 30, 2010 3:50 PM GMT
    what's the hurry?

    you have at least 50 more years of life to go thru.

    it will happen when it happens.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    Rush, rush, rush!

    Don't rush into a relationship with anyone. Take it from me; I've learned the hard way! And besides, many relationships at your age don't last long. It sucks trying to be patient, but please be patient. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

    Not only that, but times have changed as well in regards to our parents generation(s). We no longer have to settle down, get married, and have children by the time we are 21 or 22.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 4:00 PM GMT
    21 = young, dumb and full of cum. Enjoy being single while you are young, there is plenty of time for relationships. Get everything out of your system and experiment, meet lots of different types of people, concentrate on developing yourself physically, mentally and emotionally, and one day you'll meet someone you want to be in a relationship with.

    It's not something you can force or should ever compare with anyone else, it's your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 4:00 PM GMT
    Nope, not a freak, so no worries. Take your time and enjoy your life! Nobody is keeping track and wagging a finger at you, so skip fancy down the beach lil' darlin' ! FYI, though, once you knash them choppers into your first loving long term relationship, sex...sex...blah, blah, blah will never be as sweet again without a "I love you" chaser at the end of it all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    3rdtimeacharm saidonce you knash them choppers into your first loving long term relationship, sex...sex...blah, blah, blah will never be as sweet again without a "I love you" chaser at the end of it all.


    Very true. After I'd got over the break-up of my first relationship (a guy to whom I lost my virginity to as well) I was quite excited about meeting new guys and having sex with different guys.

    Turns out, although casual sex can be fun, it just doesn't compare to sex within a relationship. There must be something to it, otherwise no one would ever want to be part of a couple!
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Nov 30, 2010 5:00 PM GMT
    I'm 21, and i have yet to have a relationship with people, PEOPLE!!! but that's just because i'm weird looking and yeah weird :S