Guy ejaculates from TSA patdown.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 3:45 AM GMT
    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=573

    I found the article's editing a little caustic when it came to describing the individual involved in this "fiasco".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    http://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-bumper-stickers.html

    image.png
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 30, 2010 4:05 AM GMT
    Guy ejaculates from TSA patdown.

    NO!!!! icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 4:11 AM GMT
    Did you notice some of the other articles on the site?
    Hyatt to offer sex free rooms?
    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=388
    Hyatt spokesman, Sully Bate, likens the process to becoming a “born again virgin”.
    Or how about this one about Brett Favre being confronted in the shower:
    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=518
    That sounds hot!
    I get the impression dead serious news is anything but..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 4:27 AM GMT
    friendormate saidDid you notice some of the other articles on the site?

    Hyatt to offer sex free rooms?

    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=388

    Hyatt spokesman, Sully Bate, likens the process to becoming a “born again virgin”.


    I get the impression dead serious news is anything but..



    I don't know. This one is a real story. The man who purchased the winning $129 million lottery ticket at a porn store was a big news story for several days here in Detroit a couple weeks ago. I love the list of his other purchases:

    http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=537
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    Dead Serious News is a satirical website similar to "The Onion." I just found this particular article intriguing to the point where all i can say is "really?..."
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    Nov 30, 2010 5:46 AM GMT
    HILARIOUS!

    How can someone be arrested for that though? Its kinda gross if you are with your kid sister or something but if not.... FUCKING HILARIOUS!
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    Nov 30, 2010 7:59 AM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite saidhttp://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-bumper-stickers.html

    image.png



    hahahahaha my grandpa emailed me this. lol icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 30, 2010 8:35 AM GMT
    lgswimr said
    StudlyScrewRite saidhttp://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-bumper-stickers.html

    image.png



    hahahahaha my grandpa emailed me this. lol icon_rolleyes.gif


    You can pat me down any time icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 30, 2010 12:07 PM GMT
    According to Cummings’ partner, Sergio Armani, Cummings has “multiple piercings on his manhood” which were detected during a full body scan. As a result, Cummings was pulled aside for a pat-down. Armani stated that the unidentified TSA agent spent “an inordinate amount of time groping” Cummings, who had apparently become sexually aroused. Cummings, who has a history of sexual dysfunction, ejaculated while the TSA agent’s hand was feeling the piercings. The TSA agent, according to several witnesses, promptly called for back up. Cummings was thrown to the ground and handcuffed.

    His partner is Sergio Armani??

    .................. and his Last name ? - Cummings? icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 12:14 PM GMT
    GBRelentless saidDead Serious News is a satirical website similar to "The Onion." I just found this particular article intriguing to the point where all i can say is "really?..."

    You are correct about the satire, but should have said to yourself "not really."

    Funny thought, though, and does help to ridicule these airport procedures.
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    Nov 30, 2010 12:45 PM GMT
    MascIndianTrail saidHILARIOUS!

    How can someone be arrested for that though? Its kinda gross if you are with your kid sister or something but if not.... FUCKING HILARIOUS!


    Would they charge him with "illegal discharge" of a weapon??icon_rolleyes.gif
  • OklahomaBreak...

    Posts: 167

    Dec 01, 2010 5:10 AM GMT
    Lostboy said
    lgswimr said
    StudlyScrewRite saidhttp://althouse.blogspot.com/2010/11/tsa-bumper-stickers.html

    image.png



    hahahahaha my grandpa emailed me this. lol icon_rolleyes.gif


    You can pat me down any time icon_wink.gif


    I would love to see some of these on a T-Shirt.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 01, 2010 4:27 PM GMT
    I wish the guy well. I noticed there was no bond set. Perhaps I should make a little inquiry on this one. The TSA needs a very striong swat in Federal Court.
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    Dec 01, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    Yes! Give back to the government! Very patriotic! "Ask what you can do for your country"
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Dec 01, 2010 4:43 PM GMT
    IF this actually, really happened.....i wudda loved to have seen the expression on the groper's face when he realized what had happened.

    talk about a "kodak moment"!


    icon_lol.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Dec 01, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    This story seems to be a hoax from what I can tell. No offense to the OP. Let's hope it is a hoax as I do not wish anyone to end up in jail based on what was described.

    The story has however -- real or not -- provoked a response from the San Mateo County DA. I have pasted part of the story in below:

    Appearing on the Alex Jones Show today, current chief deputy DA and incoming DA of San Mateo County Steve Wagstaffe said his office will prosecute TSA employees who engage in lewd and lascivious behavior while conducting Homeland Security mandated patdowns at the San Francisco International Airport in San Mateo County.


    “The case would be reviewed and if we could prove the elements of it, that it was inappropriately done with a sexual or lewd intent, that person would be prosecuted,” Wagstaffe told the Berman Post on Tuesday.

    Wagstaffe told Alex Jones that county police will be sent to into the San Francisco International Airport. If they witness TSA employees engaged in criminal conduct, they will make arrests and the DA’s office will prosecute. Sexual battery in Mateo County is a felony if the molestation occurs beneath clothing and makes contact with skin and a misdemeanor if the touching occurs outside clothing.

    News report on San Mateo County DA announcing his office will arrest and prosecute TSA for sexual molestation.

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    Dec 01, 2010 5:03 PM GMT
    conservativejock saidThis story seems to be a hoax from what I can tell. No offense to the OP. Let's hope it is a hoax as I do not wish anyone to end up in jail based on what was described.

    The story has however -- real or not -- provoked a response from the San Mateo County DA. I have pasted part of the story in below:

    Appearing on the Alex Jones Show today, current chief deputy DA and incoming DA of San Mateo County Steve Wagstaffe said his office will prosecute TSA employees who engage in lewd and lascivious behavior while conducting Homeland Security mandated patdowns at the San Francisco International Airport in San Mateo County.


    “The case would be reviewed and if we could prove the elements of it, that it was inappropriately done with a sexual or lewd intent, that person would be prosecuted,” Wagstaffe told the Berman Post on Tuesday.

    Wagstaffe told Alex Jones that county police will be sent to into the San Francisco International Airport. If they witness TSA employees engaged in criminal conduct, they will make arrests and the DA’s office will prosecute. Sexual battery in Mateo County is a felony if the molestation occurs beneath clothing and makes contact with skin and a misdemeanor if the touching occurs outside clothing.

    News report on San Mateo County DA announcing his office will arrest and prosecute TSA for sexual molestation.



    the story is fake. I already mentioned that the website is strictly based on satire, similar to "the onion". I posted this because I believed that we could use a laugh.

    The majority of forum posts are so serious; taking there minutes to smile shouldn't have to be scheduled.

    Look at the "about" section on the site, it literally states all stories are fictional.