making the transition from bottom to top. some comments and questions

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2010 9:35 PM GMT
    so in a nutshell, i'm 30 and i've always been a bottom, although anal sex is something i've never done so much. last time was april 2009 in fact. oral sex and kissing though, bring it on! i have never topped in my life.

    in the last couple of months i started taking more of an active role with guys, especially with oral sex for example where i am the one getting it and wanting it. i think there is a mindset shift taking place within me to start becoming a top.

    met a guy tonight for what was only going to be oral sex. he really wanted to screw though so i thought why not. it was quite a unique experience to say the least and i never thought ass was that tight. only thing is that i pretty much wanted to cum within the first minute! after that first minute though i thought to chill for a bit, but then i struggled to stay hard when fucking him again.

    so essentially i want to know if any guys have successfully transitioned from being a bottom to being a top? also, did you also feel the first few times was a big learning experience and that you wanted to cum quickly, and struggled staying rock hard all the way throughout? i guess there's many variables at play...
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Nov 30, 2010 9:50 PM GMT
    Good for you! It can be hard to stay hard while fucking for a number of reasons. The loss of feeling from condoms is one. Keep trying different ones to find the ones that work best (not too tight) add a bunch of lube inside the condom too. Also i can find it difficult to stay hard if a guy is super tight. That tight grip kind of squeezes the life out of my hard on lol. It's better when a guy is a bit looser too because you can feel them gripping, milking and responding to your fucking a lot more.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Nov 30, 2010 9:50 PM GMT
    Good for you! It can be hard to stay hard while fucking for a number of reasons. The loss of feeling from condoms is one. Keep trying different ones to find the ones that work best (not too tight) add a bunch of lube inside the condom too. Also i can find it difficult to stay hard if a guy is super tight. That tight grip kind of squeezes the life out of my hard on lol. It's better when a guy is a bit looser too because you can feel them gripping, milking and responding to your fucking a lot more.
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    surely there are some more guys out there that can feed back about this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    Do people really 'transition' from 'top' to 'bottom'? Is this how the gay world works? (rolling eyes)

  • Dec 02, 2010 7:11 PM GMT
    Please tell me apt773 that you are still a bottom!!! please!! lol
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 02, 2010 7:13 PM GMT
    musefreek saidsurely there are some more guys out there that can feed back about this?


    Apparently not, and don't call me Shirley.
  • oyoung

    Posts: 97

    Dec 02, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    emmmm.. never think about transition for one to the other. I thought it always comes out with which one makes you feel better. Then the better one could keep you hard~icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 8:47 PM GMT
    Aren't like most guys versatile anyway? That's always been my experience.

    And don't be so hard on yourself (no pun intended). You were ready to cum and took it down a couple of notches. For a lot of guys that means some reduction of hard-on. That's just logic really. If you don't have trouble going more than once that might have been a better option for you. There was also a paper a while back on ED where they found that for 50% of old guys with ED they could become medication free by doing exercises for their pelvic.

    Remember to use condom compatible lube! No vaseline, no baby oil (baby oil isn't made from babies, it makes babies).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    I thinks this thread is funny icon_lol.gif In his "transition" n all
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    It's a legitimate question. I know a guy who switched to topping only after a decade or so of being a powerbottom, so it happens.
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    Dec 02, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    it's wrong to assume most guys are versatile just because you are versatile yourself, a lot of people can be wired differently
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 9:22 PM GMT
    apt773 saidDo people really 'transition' from 'top' to 'bottom'? Is this how the gay world works? (rolling eyes)


    LMAO!!

    Yes this sounds like a midlife gay crisis. Most men are versatile, anyone can top and anyone can bottom. Its not rocket science.

    Do what feels good.
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    Dec 02, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    PrinceOfArya saidit's wrong to assume most guys are versatile just because you are versatile yourself, a lot of people can be wired differently


    Eh... I know I come off as a dick with opinions set in stone (really wanted to make a pun here) but I was just stating that most of the guys I've slept with have been versatile. And of course that's from both a limited sample and a quite biased sample.

    Basically the OP enjoyed fucking a guy. I vote he should fuck more guys. If they want to fuck him too then he should enjoy that too.
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    Dec 02, 2010 11:21 PM GMT
    CaliBoySwag said
    apt773 saidDo people really 'transition' from 'top' to 'bottom'? Is this how the gay world works? (rolling eyes)


    LMAO!!

    Yes this sounds like a midlife gay crisis. Most men are versatile, anyone can top and anyone can bottom. Its not rocket science.

    Do what feels good.


    what exactly is a midlife gay crisis? i certainly don't feel like i'm in a crisis.

  • Dec 04, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    I use to bottom and ONLY bottom.. My last bf wanted me to try topping...
    I did it once and loved it...
    Since we broke up 3 years ago, I've ONLY topped... And I love it.. LOVE IT!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 04, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    I do not understand how many gay men seem to think either top or bottom is the only way to be.. But if it works for you, great!!

    Being a bottom or a top maybe just a mentality but both are tons of fun! My problem is that im usually attracted to very masculine men that are bigger than me in terms of muscles and how tall they are. I like being the "smaller" one in that situation..

    Not many guys here in seattle like being "topped" by a smaller guy. I guess it hurts their ego too much ;)) Maybe that's a bit much.. but I don't know why bigger guys tend to have a problem with it.

    Honestly though, you may want to consider not dropping one role for the other.. You don't know how fun it can be when one minute you're the bottom then the second you're the one topping.. It's a very hot experience. You just have to find the right type of guy i guess icon_biggrin.gif
  • sliyah

    Posts: 37

    Dec 04, 2010 6:07 PM GMT
    i wont say i transitionned! but i did top a little lately.. i had the same problem,i
    wanted to cum quickly,struggled to stay hard.. since the guy wanted me to fuck him,and i wasnt hard.. i tried to think like a bottom that i am(as if the guy wanted to fuck me) and when i went hard.. he sat on top of me ,i tried to focus on some thing in the room,and let him ride it!!icon_smile.gif it was a great experience.. but because i had to do all the work in my mind to keep me hard enougth.. i dont think it is for me.. !! being a top its too much work !!! icon_lol.gificon_biggrin.gif

    but i think with the right guy it will come more naturally ..
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Dec 04, 2010 8:45 PM GMT
    kandsk saidIt's a legitimate question. I know a guy who switched to topping only after a decade or so of being a powerbottom, so it happens.


    same thing, i know a guy who was strickly bottom and went to 100% top. overnight...just like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2010 11:03 PM GMT
    ive transitioned from bottom to verse. I like both, though yes with topping it can be a struggle to maintain an erection throughout, though in my experience the brand of condom has been to blame for a lack of sensitivity, and the nerves definately play a factor as well. Also when doing it with random people, performance anxiety creeps in so it can be difficult, but when with someone im comfrtable with, then its great.