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WROTE THIS TO A GUY WHO LEFT FEELING DISGUSTED BY SOME OF THE JERKS IN THE "ADULT" CHAT ROOM:

ya know almost everyone on here is probably somewhat slightly emotionally damaged because all of us grew up and live in a country that does not fully embrace us and treat us as equals - be we
bi, bi-curious, or gay.
I think the chat room is sort of an outlet for many guys to be their unvarnished male beast be that to drool and compliment guys who show on cam or simply just enter the room and get to receive praise for their body. A sort of attempt at healing the hurt places inside each of us - sometimes because of how crude some guys can be, it just feels disgusting [the ones who continually ask for things a guy isn't interested in showing or haven't bothered to listen or read what he posted or just wrote in the live chat about himself, if he posted nothing - well then he may have to deal with crude guys, there are plenty of them on here]
If someone goes to the trouble of posting a profile and live chats about himself and what he is about - I would hope more men could rise to the level of bothering to read and listen.
But just like any art - it is all in the way you "see"/interpret it.

I think being human can be emotionally damaging, gay/straight, white/black, rich/poor, tall/short/, cute/ugly, skinny/fat, ... I could go on.

But that's not the reason for "acting like jerks in the adult room". For some, the anonimity's a trip, add in the webcam and it's almost better than having the actual person there. We are men and men are significantly more single minded when it comes to sex that women.

But all things aside, you've gotta take things in context and from where it comes. To say this site has sexual undertones is a significant understatement so for someone to be surprised and offended at being asked to show his cock or whatever else in the ADULT room is silly really. Even if it is asked repeatedly, you'd be spending more energy than you need to getting offended and/or angry. Just say no, if that doesn't work, don't respond -- easy.

Keep in mind, some people (myself included) get off at showing on cam and seeing guys on cam and sometimes, get off on being cajoled into it ... feigning resistance as part of the game.

It's only chat ... it's only words from someone who's words carry no weight in your life, just wait a little while, a few more people will type in the chat window and those "offensive", "disgusting" words will scroll up and disappear into internet chat room oblivion.

Hey "Too FAST" - try slowing down and reading.
I am glad some guys like to show themselves on cam, I personally have enjoyed the sights many times in the "Adult" chat room and occasionally made new friends while in there. I am not arguing to take away any rights from you to show or from any guys here.
You obviously have a thick skin to what is sometimes verbal harassment, not everyone is built the same. I don't think it is asking too much for us to organize our selves as REAL MEN not just rutting degenerate perv monkeys.
How about showing some genuine appreciation for the fact that he is brave/bold enough to show himself on here in the first place.
Is it too much to ask all men on here to treat the guys willing to show themselves on cam with a minimum of respect and maybe a little awe ?

I think that this is an excellent topic. I myself have not been asked to perform in the chat rooms here, I have done so on other chat services. I personally see nothing wrong with it, as, I agree, it does create a sense of excitement in some at being oogled by other men, even from afar.

But, I must also agree that some people can, and do, take offense to the general tone in the ADULT room. While most conotations of the words ADULT ROOM come to be constrewed as a private "view all", it can also be considered a place where more mature men can interact with each other in a comfortable group setting. I love just sitting in a "listening" to some of the conversations, and, yes, I do usually have whatever cam is activated on in my private window, but I don't go in specifically to bust a nut, or egg others on into showing things that they may not be comfortable with showing... I'm certainly not anymore.

This discussion has two basic sides: those who care and those who don't. I may not like being harrassed into flashing my goods, but in an adult room, I can deal with it, if dealing means that I may be privy to more mature conversation. At the same time, it IS nice for someone to think you are hot enough that they would want to see what else you have to offer... or THEY are simplying trying to "relieve" themselves and you look like a decent victim.

The chatroom was pretty cool in the begining,but now its like a big click. There are some great looking guys there, who dare to show their face along with body. I think if your not the best looking guy there,nobody needs to insult you.But thats my opinion.

well I like your opinion mutz... and thanks for shareing it. I agree 100% and thanks for being honest enough with yourself to put such a cute photo up of yourself.........I get so tired of these guys that have nothing but chest and body shots in there profile ....stay real buddy :O)

HERE HERE GUYS THANKS FOR KEEPING IT REAL.

Chat, well it's gone..that was stupid.

at first there was not an adult chat room - I think we all know what adult means - dont be offended if you see guys masturbating etc or talking dirty - if you are - stay out of the "adult" room and chat in the non-adult room. the cam is great - who would not want to see who they are chatting with - no matter how good looking or their body type or condition - there is always something for everyone. the cam also verifies that the person in the pic is you and you are not fake. People IM me and ask to see me on cam - when i ask to see them on cam they come up with a whole host of reasons why they cannot - dog ate the cord, i am not at my computer, its broken, and they go on and on...they are fakes. I dont show me if you dont show you - makes sense right? So, the adult room is just that - for adults - like an R rated movie - expect foul language and adult nudity - a pre warning if you will. if you get offended then you should be objective enough to realize you have no business visiting the adult room...
these chat rooms are a great forum to help us all deal with being gay and how life is for us - the ups and downs - and it is great to be able to share with one another our thoughts and feelings - we are all guys and no matter our age, looks, body type, education, financial situation etc. we are all bonded by what we share and that is that we are gay...

The adult room is not any longer what you think (hope) it is. Read the update on the chat rooms rules. Great rules, by the way...

great I like the new rules :O)

hey whitejock I agree with everything you said - I do not know who said anything about visual offense. My original call was simply for more civility in the chatting part of the "ADULT" chat room among gay, bi, bi-curious men.

Guys this is the intenet !!!!!! It has, and should have, an independent, unique quasi-reality not to be confused as a substitute for the real world. If you want the bennies of man-to-man civility then take your game to the street. Don't expect the internet to cover for your lack of a life.

so does sepchek win because he is bigger and wants to be thought of as a brute while making excuses for other guy's boorish behaviours?
Guess what sepcheck? it doesn't change the lack of quality in your character or other's to say something as ridiculous as those who believe more civility is possible are pathetic.
Get a life clue, bro !
Thuggish pervs or the wannabes who protect them are beyond pathetic.

hey peter don't go there with sephchek, i was in the room the other day and couldn't believe the bitching that was going on - and I agree, we get enough shit for being gay that we should at least respect each other in our environment. so many guys hide their faces and won't even chat without a cam - I really don't have one, sorry, backward eh but at least my face is on my profile.

Archie read the whole thread, then talk about it.

Actually sepchek go back and check the name of this site "Realjock" not fakejock or fakeguy pretending to be rude/harsh dominant or strong/willing submissive. There are other sites for that, actually many such sites, absolutely nothing wrong with them; just that they are not REALJOCK. This site is unique and it's stated purpose is in it's name. REAL guys who want to meet and talk about their own and each other's love of REAL athleticism and each others REAL lives and with any luck...


some REAL guys will meet other REAL guys thru this AWESOME SITE!

Hey guys..this forum is for learning,and explaining,we are all connected,but why is it when we get on a subject,that we "attack each other". I respect everyones opinion,..so "get over it". Everyone one is unique, no one said we were "Dreamboys". Its true that everyday we face some kind of hate, lets not make it ok for us to follow the same tracks. If I am in the room I am there to take a peek.

HERE HERE MUTZ.

I don't like getting too caught up in political bullshit,life is far too short.What I want to know the reason why we can't have the ADULT room the way it was? Peterstrong, I'm very impressed with your postings!One of the few people that consistently 'Hit the Mark' dealing with important topics and with difficult people,well done my friend.My main concern is not the sexual content,but the way some guys speak to each other.A total lack of respect that sometimes leaves me speechless and we all know if we can't show respect to others,we have little or no hope of ever holding on to any self respect for ourselves.

peterstrong

I guess you are thinking when Brad Pitt plays a murderer in the movies he has become a thug, a brut, a bad guy. Movies, TV, video games, internet they aren't real to me...Having been on stage, TV, movies etc. a can tell u that it is totally faked up, (absolutely everything) but it conforms to a huge, deep human need to play-out-stuff way beyond the extents of one's own personality. People absolutely worship media stars cus they need it so bad. In some ways your atitude is like the "Christians " that want to ban all the shit on TV, Movies, vid games, internet because they think it is real too and therefore a threat to them.

I think that the webmaster/bulletin board manager was noticing that the chat room was becoming the "tail wagging the dog."

As Peter pointed out, this is a wonderful site, a venue for guys who actually are actively athletic, both for health and vanity reasons. Of course, we're all gay or bi, and searching for a connection, however you want to define it, with other gay men.

But the explicit purpose for the site is to have a community for all athletic gay men to meet. Sure, any two guys or more can decide to meet and have sex. But should the chat room be used that way on this site?

After all, any two members can go IM/WebCam and have internet sex, or they can decide to exchange Yahoo Chat/whatever addresses and do that that offsite.

So I agree with the new rules, and I agree with Peter's comments about them.

I also agree that showing off, as opposed to shooting off, on cam in the chat room is fine. We are all admirers of athleticism, and showing that off is appropriate given the purpose of the site.

However, whether triguy (the BB administrator) thinks the old rules or the new rules should rein, there is absolutely no excuse for mean, sarcastic, demeaning behavior on the chat room. I'd favor such people being blocked from the site.

John

hey guys all good points - briz thanks for pointing out that I had become one of the brutes I was ranting against. Very well put my friend - that is all, we are all trying to do for/with each other, is keep each other in the boundaries of civilized behaviour. And if we end up supporting and healing each other in the process of life, friendships, and just plain ole good comraderie - TERRIFIC more power to us all.


"showing some genuine appreciation for the fact that he is brave/bold enough to show himself on here in the first place.
Is it too much to ask all men on here to treat the guys willing to show themselves on cam with a minimum of respect and maybe a little awe ?"


I stand by my statement. The overblown hysteria fallout from my call for simple descent manners and respect is what is puritanical like in it's defense of no holds barred cage like chatting/fighting. Your anology was only off the mark in where you were pointing. My request was not even remotely puritanical.
Thanks John for pointing that out - sorry sepchek, but you are off point. This is not a tv show, movie, B&D site, comic book, Internet fantasy or video gaming site{I did not say there is anything wrong with those - please do hear that} again this site is real authentic men with real authentic lives meeting each other, what those two men talk about in private is fine and entirely their business.
What men talk about in public chat rooms is fair game for critique and unsolicited advice.


Maybe you should ask the guys who built and run this site, what they think ?

That's a good wrap of this topic for me. Dunno if you are gonna find a haven from bully's in this world or any other but I hang out here rather than other sites cus body building takes discipline ,commitment and a sustainable life style and that kinda filters out a ton of whacko's.

I think it's important to keep everything in perspective. Personally, I like this site because it seems a notch above other sites like say Manhunt, or Gay.com, and others. I think throwing the whole "health & fitness" and sports-oriented aspect into the mix attracts a more focused aspect of the gay community as a whole. Maybe it's just me, but this site seems to attract a more health & fitness-minded crowd who are less about drugs and partying and clubbing, and I for one really appreciate that. That being said, this is after all the internet. Things are said and done online that many would never do in "real life". That is what has always made the internet, and specifically online chat and such, unique. I'm not saying that any of it is "right" or "wrong", it just is what it is. At some point, you need to just accept that and take it all with a grain of salt. There is an ignore (block) button --- use it -- and focus on the "quality" guys you feel you have had the opportunity to meet. It's silly to get too bent out of shape over stuff that happens online because some things just go with the territory, and are the nature of the beast. Even in "real life" you run across some jerks. Deal with it and move on.

I always thought the "adult" room was a place where I could get off with you.

Why is it that I've only ever seen the "non-adult" rooms... am I missing something! Or is this a late night thing that I miss by going to bed (alone) LOL

Well be a prude then. Obviously you don't care for the Adult section.