Though I advocate testing, I've had an inconsistent attitude towards it. When I was single and tricking a lot (for pleasure, not profit
), and visiting bathhouses, I never asked about testing. A naked guy in a steam room is unlikely to have his latest HIV test results on him, nor run right out and get tested while I wait.
And besides, guys lie, and the HIV tests don't indicate whether someone is negative TODAY, but rather only give their HIV status several months back (or at best weeks back with a more expensive test used less often by most guys). So as I've written here before, HIV tests are almost worthless for deciding whether to have unprotected sex with a stranger or not. Instead, simply NEVER have unprotected sex outside a monogamous LTR, period.
The value of tests is in getting a diagnosis to begin treatment, the sooner the better, and in knowing not to engage in unsafe sex if poz. But if you always have protected safe sex with strangers, I'm not sure the HIV question is that important. You gotta realize that there's always a chance you'll be having sex with a poz guy, no matter what he says or what test results he may show you.
If you ask yourself the question "Would I have safe sex with a guy I know to be poz?" and you answer "no" then you really shouldn't be having sex with any strangers at all. Because if you have sex with a stranger, regardless of his alleged status, there's a chance you ARE having it with a poz person.
When dating, though, I've had guys ask me to get tested, and I'd do it (or actually retested, since I get tested regularly anyway). Didn't bother me at all, if that made the guy feel better, though actually giving him a false sense of security. And I'd ask them to do the same in return, though some actually declined (interesting double-standard -- you may be poz but I can't be). Needless to say, I always insisted on safe sex with them anyway, and being with a poz guy doesn't frighten me, my late partner having been infected before we got together, with whom I also always had safe sex.
My current monogamous partner & I get tested regularly by the same doctor, with whom we have legal papers on file giving us each the right to know all medical matters about the other. We test as an example to the HIV/AIDS community, with whom we work. Difficult to preach regular testing to others, if we answered "no" to whether we get tested ourselves, at risk or not. We also get blood tests for other STDs and contagious diseases, including hepatitis, which can be contracted outside of sex.