Too nice?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2010 1:34 PM GMT
    I have a good friend and as we were talking on the phone last night, he told me that when he's shown an interest in any number of men, they always say that he it too nice to date. This may be me, but don't we all want a guy who is nice to us and treats us well? Maybe we are just weird. That's not to say that I can't see the appeal of a so-called bad boy; but, a bad boy is just that: a bad boy with little to no prospects of a decent future.

    Which begs me to ask: Is there such a thing as being too nice when it comes to dating?

    Thoughts???
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    Yea....I found that being too nice comes across to some people as being too needy, too insecure or too weird..... Yea

    Also too nice and expecting something icon_confused.gif
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    Dec 01, 2010 1:44 PM GMT
    Personally, I don't think there is any such thing as "too nice".

    I wonder; however, what you would do if you dated a guy that was nice or nicer than you?
    Would the competition overwhelm you?
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    Dec 01, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidAlso too nice and expecting something icon_confused.gif


    Very true! Some guys do act 'too nice' only because they want a little something extra. icon_mad.gif

    It could also be that we just aren't used to people being nice to others this day in age, especially on the Internet and any hint of being nice is take as being too nice, you know?
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    Dec 01, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    Being really nice scares the crap out of the immature and attracts the real men. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug

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    Dec 01, 2010 9:44 PM GMT
    There's being nice, and there's being too nice. Personally, I like dating guys who are nice, in the sense that they respect me, they're easy to get along with, and they're not obnoxious. On the other hand, I have no interest in dating a guy who is a pushover or reminds me of Mr. Rogers. A person with a sarcastic edge and a real personality is a lot more interesting and hot.
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    Dec 01, 2010 9:50 PM GMT
    Being really nice scares the crap out of the immature and attracts the real men.

    SO TRUE! SO TRUE!icon_smile.gif
  • oyoung

    Posts: 97

    Dec 01, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    meninlove said Being really nice scares the crap out of the immature and attracts the real men. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug



    Like this~!icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 01, 2010 10:16 PM GMT
    Some ppl. don't like nice guys because they think they're easily hurt. Which makes it seem like the person is planning on hurting them anyway. I don't think there's a such thing as being "too nice" but like the above said no one wants a pushover. For some guys being nice is just apart of who they are, they give many compliments, always respectful, borderline people pleasers, and although I don't see too much of a problem with it, to say someone is too nice just basically means, your not really interested, enthused, or comfortable with that part of their personality.
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:10 AM GMT
    I think there are those who may have a trust issue with "really nice guys" perhaps because they may had been manipulated and deceipted by those who use their charm to get what they want out for their own self interest.

    I personally have learned to give each new person that crosses my path the benefit of the doubt, and in the process allow them to proof me wrong. Is there such a thing as being too nice when it comes to dating? yes, I met a really sweet guy about four years, unfortunately my own prejudice/preferences at the time blindfolded me to see the beautiful person that he was!


    Leandro ♥
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:18 AM GMT
    Basically, no, there isn't. If a guy is really into you, and I mean REALLY into you, not just kind of into you and keeping you around just because, then he will appreciate, respect, LOVE that you are a nice guy. Being nice only comes off as needy if he just isn't that into you. Or if being nice to you means texting every 5 minutes. icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Jun 30, 2012 12:43 PM GMT
    Too Nice = not masculine/assertive enough...icon_wink.gif
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    Jun 30, 2012 1:00 PM GMT
    Nothing is beautiful than being pleasant and smily icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2012 1:01 PM GMT
    meninlove said Being really nice scares the crap out of the immature and attracts the real men. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug



    Amen! icon_smile.gif
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    Jun 30, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    I sort of view it as two different things.

    Some guys (and ladies) are fascinated with the bad boy, rebel, dangerous type. - I view this more as a lust issue and not someone that people really expect to settle down with.

    The guy you fall in love and settle down with is the one that accepts you for who you are and treasures every part of that...

    But that may just my my hopeless romantic delusion... only time will tell... icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2012 1:14 PM GMT
    "CrankySpice said

    Pooping rainbows.



    There's a mental image.icon_lol.gif



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 30, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    I think there is such a thing as being too nice. At the end of the day, people will treat you only as well as you demand to be treated. It's wonderful to be polite and considerate of others, including any guy you might be interested in. But you sell yourself short when you go overboard by, say, being overly accommodating. If a guy messes up, you have to call him on his shit. Keeping quiet because you don't want to scare him away is silly because your silence signals that you're okay with his shitty behavior. Speaking up, on the other hand, tells him that you're a self-aware, emotionally mature person who deserves respect.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    Jul 03, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    The "nice" factor can be very important when meeting someone, at least for me. I want someone who treats me right and who's thoughtful enough to at least exchange a couple of messages throughout the day. But I notice that a guy that "worships" me from the beginning, makes me lose my interest. I haven't done anything yet for you to be that nice, so I feel like no matter what I do, he'll like me. That's what I think "too nice" means!
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Jul 03, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    Well as mentioned above, "too nice" can have a variety of meanings. It can mean that one doesn't have a "spine" and allows others to walk over him.
    It can mean the guy is a little boring or just doesn't express himself forcefully enough.. for instance, the date who "goes along with everything", instead of really expressing what he might enjoy doing. Just a thought.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    "Too nice" is a nice way of saying not interested.
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I got the opposite problem...most guys that I come across want to date and don't want to be just friends icon_neutral.gif #firstworldproblems
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:29 PM GMT
    I think to some people, "Too nice" is boring. I guess they view it as being too perfect?
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    Cornfedbronco saidI think to some people, "Too nice" is boring. I guess they view it as being too perfect?


    Which is why when someone calls you a jerk it is very flattering.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 03, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    What does "nice" mean here?

    You can bee too "nice" if nice = bland, milquetoast, passive, obsequious, fawning, accommodating, or any number of soft, inoffensive but generally undesirable traits in men.
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    Jul 03, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    Being put on a pedestal is probably a turn off for a lot of guys. I want to date a guy that is my equal and has his own wants and needs. Being nice is probably an inaccurate label of this kind of behavior.