Is it normal?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2010 5:58 PM GMT
    That I never remember anything bad that's happened to me in the past? I mean I do remember if I put some big effort on it but it's hard for me to trigger any negative memory or awful experience from my past. Why is that? Is that normal at all or mentally healthy?
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    Dec 01, 2010 7:25 PM GMT
    Maybe the happy ones out weigh the bad ones? Maybe you are suppressing those memories and dont want to remember them? Well it all depends. Do you have a lot of awful experiences that has happen to you in your life?
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    Dec 01, 2010 9:56 PM GMT
    Totally, most of it when I was 5 to 16 years old, even if I remember anything I just don't care for some reason. Hopefully it won't hit me at an older age.
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    Dec 01, 2010 10:18 PM GMT
    Maybe you're like my mom. I think she views everything in the past thru rose colored glasses even though it wasn't always. Regardless, she's a saint and unlike me or my siblings has never honestly uttered the word shit or similar vulgarities nor ever spoke ill of anyone. Obviously that gene didn't spill over. icon_cool.gif

    Anyways, I'd consider it a blessing not to dwell on past negatives but I can't do it.
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    Dec 01, 2010 11:27 PM GMT
    I don't know, I have met a few people who think they've had it worse than nobody else and they keep on blaming their families for everything that affects them today. I kinda think to myself that I most likely had it worse than they did....still I don't care and i don't look back. I guess some people are more sensitive than others to these negatives experiences and somehow they did have it worse psychologically speaking.

    At the same time I have to recognize I See the world in abstract kinda way, I get lost easily, I forget things easily and I forgive easily. I can only remember things by paying all my attention to them, I could pass by the same street on a car or bus 1000 times and I wouldnt remember my way by walking, I can be looking through the window but if I'm not thinking about remembering that trajectory I wont remember anything...things might look slightly familiar though lol. I guess it's a good thing my phone's got GPS. So probably is not just bad stuff but everything that doesnt attract my interest doesnt get enough retention in my fucked up brain cause my memory works pretty good as long as there's enough attention span.
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    Dec 02, 2010 9:31 AM GMT
    You're not a Pisces are you?

    I'll try and give a better answer later on...late for class and I'm on RJ!

    *edit* second thoughts, are you a Cancer by any chance?
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    Dec 02, 2010 10:02 AM GMT
    I'm the same really. Sometimes when I think back to unhappy memories, I feel like it was happening to someone else or it was a film. I can't empathise with my former self very easily.

    I also have terrible event memory. I can only remember particularly vivid things from my past, sometimes someone will mention something and I only have the vaguest recollection that it happened. I'd probably be a terrible witness.
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    Dec 02, 2010 10:33 AM GMT
    I most likely had it worse. . . still I don't care and I don't look back.

    Contrast that with somebody who carries around a Big Book of Grievances (mentally) and dwells on it often. You ARE the bigger man, dude. Your attitude is liberating--it will allow you to move forward always toward the best that life offers. It's like the epitome of good mental health.

    Cheers!

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    Dec 02, 2010 11:32 AM GMT
    charlitos saidThat I never remember anything bad that's happened to me in the past? I mean I do remember if I put some big effort on it but it's hard for me to trigger any negative memory or awful experience from my past. Why is that? Is that normal at all or mentally healthy?


    That's actually good ill say your lucky

    Cheeers
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    Dec 02, 2010 11:35 AM GMT
    charlitos saidTotally, most of it when I was 5 to 16 years old, even if I remember anything I just don't care for some reason. Hopefully it won't hit me at an older age.



    Probably because your too busy taking care of yourself and have a positive outlook on life and not to mention in good health with a rocking body
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 02, 2010 11:38 AM GMT
    I would think that you have a compartmentalized brain. It makes it easier to deal with the things that we want to and to "put away" the things we do not. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 11:55 AM GMT
    Its normal your brain is trying to block any bed things that happened to you and you can remember it if you try hard but its normal ;-)
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    Dec 02, 2010 12:01 PM GMT
    It's definitely normal. It's just how we cope.
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    Dec 02, 2010 12:22 PM GMT
    I lot of times we repress our bad memories trying to pretend they never happened. Sometimes we can go on like that forever and sometimes they strike back. My suggestion would be face them instead of burying them deep someplace and get some help if you thing you can't trigger them easily.
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    Dec 02, 2010 12:31 PM GMT
    "Carve the good memories in stone so they last forever, write the bad memories in sand so the tide washes them away"
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:32 PM GMT

    You can remember, which means you're not blocking or editing your past.

    The memories are 2 dimensional, which means you're over whatever traumatic experiences occurred and can remember them without re-experiencing bad feelings. I'm not really surprised your mind has lost interest in them.

    -Doug
  • Daknee

    Posts: 67

    Dec 02, 2010 2:39 PM GMT
    Normal what's normal? Mentally healthy very much so, studies show lingering negativity has an effect on our daily living and physical health.
    I would say it's not very usual not to remember the bad in your life BUT think of it as a gift and be grateful you don't have the memories in the forefront of your memory. There are people out there now spending thousands trying to forget!
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:43 PM GMT
    I wish i had your brain, Its really hard having all these traumatic experiences(involving my fatass dad). I can't seem to get them off my head. And yes, I also had it worse (involves showing a knife to my face and threatning me, and slam-shoving my head/temporal region in a slightly hard concrete wall; And beating me occasionally with his fist near my jogular vein; it happened for over 10 years of my life till now). I didn't do anything because i was too afraid.

    I envy your ability to not care bout those memories. On the other hand, i have to suffer with mine; I wish i would just disappear like thin air. >_<

    And Yes, its normal. icon_smile.gif .
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:44 PM GMT

    I'm totally the same way... bad memories don't stick with me. I have some that I'll vaguely remember and they can be so hazy that I wonder if they were just dreams I had when I was a kid. I have one memory that happened on a class trip into someplace in the mountains when I was a kid in Colorado... something very bad happened to a classmate, though I can't remember exactly what. I have some vivid bits and pieces, and some hazy pieces. I asked my parents about it and they don't seem to know what I'm talking about. But happy things, I remember clearly. Maybe it's better this way, I think I'm old enough to not really have to worry about shit hitting the fan in my head.

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    Dec 02, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    You comments remind me of my goldfish. He was also sooooo cute!!!icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    charlitos saidThat I never remember anything bad that's happened to me in the past? I mean I do remember if I put some big effort on it but it's hard for me to trigger any negative memory or awful experience from my past. Why is that? Is that normal at all or mentally healthy?


    Ok back from class! This is my answer:

    Everyone has a memory and *should* be able to remember all the good and the bad, unless you have selective memory. I feel that you perhaps find negative experiences too painful to endure (perhaps on a subconscious level) and so your brain tries to protect you by looking over, belittling or forgetting the bad experiences that you've had.

    I personally feel it is important to remember bad experiences that you've had so that you can empathise with other people who may be going through the same situation or just for simply allowing you to learn from yours or other people's mistakes. If a few years ago you crossed the road without looking and consequently ended up in a car accident, what good does it do to forget about that and repeat the same habit a few years down the line?

    However, of course dwelling on the past is different and just as bad, if not worse...that is something I have issues with!

    That is my opinion.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    MY partner has exactly the same 'poor memory'.
    Past event become foggy real fast.

    He though it was a curse, before he realized it helps him a lot overcome traumatic events, move on, live in the present, focus on what's in front of him without carrying the weight of the past.

    I'm the exact opposite, past emotions are nearly as vivid today that 20 yearzs ago. That's a curse
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Dec 02, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    You are truly blessed.

    Someone very important to my life (in the past) only held onto the negative. She could not and can not trust anyone including herself - so every decision is excrutiating for her and she misses all the opportunities.

    Given the choice your selective memory appears to be much healthier.
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    Dec 02, 2010 5:45 PM GMT
    "Sad times and bad times, see them through....."


    Honestly the bad memories serve me as a rather embarrassing reminders and to learn not to make the same mistakes (even if they randomly happen) again..
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    Dec 02, 2010 5:48 PM GMT
    minox said

    I'm the exact opposite, past emotions are nearly as vivid today that 20 yearzs ago. That's a curse
    Ditto.