Do you ever feel like your gonna be alone, forever?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:37 AM GMT
    Im asking just out of curiousity (probably won't get many replies...since their are so many good looking people on here)

    BUT, do you ever feel ugly, old and washed up? and that no one will ever want you?...I do and it sucks..I've always felt this way about my life...ppl keep saying "it will get better"...but Im 21 now..and I feel 81....does everyone go thru this?...or is this just simply my reality that I need to accept?

    Also when I say alone im not necessarily even talking about an intimate relationship...im talking about social life, friends as well as relationships...like "alone'...literally.
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:44 AM GMT
    Never.

    My goals in life are to have a decent field job and never to be alone :-)
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 02, 2010 6:46 AM GMT
    BuckYou saidNever.

    My goals in life are to have a decent field job and never to be alone :-)



    A field job..? Like in the field on the farm with the wheat and potatoes and fish..? icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 02, 2010 6:50 AM GMT
    JC1989 saidIm asking just out of curiousity (probably won't get many replies...since their are so many good looking people on here)

    BUT, do you ever feel ugly, old and washed up? and that no one will ever want you?...I do and it sucks..I've always felt this way about my life...ppl keep saying "it will get better"...but Im 21 now..and I feel 81....does everyone go thru this?...or is this just simply my reality that I need to accept?


    At 21 with your whole life ahead of you, I think you are too young to worry about this....wait until you're....um......39 icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:57 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    JC1989 saidIm asking just out of curiousity (probably won't get many replies...since their are so many good looking people on here)

    BUT, do you ever feel ugly, old and washed up? and that no one will ever want you?...I do and it sucks..I've always felt this way about my life...ppl keep saying "it will get better"...but Im 21 now..and I feel 81....does everyone go thru this?...or is this just simply my reality that I need to accept?


    At 21 with your whole life ahead of you, I think you are too young to worry about this....wait until you're....um......39 icon_wink.gif


    well if it doesn't get any better than this...I DON'T wanna live to see 29...let alone 39.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:58 AM GMT
    NO!
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    Dec 02, 2010 6:58 AM GMT
    It gets better.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 02, 2010 6:59 AM GMT
    JC1989 said

    well if it doesn't get any better than this...I DON'T wanna live to see 29...let alone 39.



    All I'm saying is...21 is too young to tell how things will develop and get better, trust me....I didn't even start dating guys until I was 23. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 7:03 AM GMT
    malefeet said
    BuckYou saidNever.

    My goals in life are to have a decent field job and never to be alone :-)



    A field job..? Like in the field on the farm with the wheat and potatoes and fish..? icon_wink.gif


    no. by field job I mean a job like yours for example. Not to be trapped in a room all the time...
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    Dec 02, 2010 12:26 PM GMT
    At your age I felt the same way and still do sometimes now. But as you grow and learn more things about yourself, your self esteem and confidence will go up. Just enjoy right now without thinking too much about getting old. Trust me you will have a lot of time for that later on.
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:43 PM GMT
    So I went to your profile and looked at the horrible ugly that must be there, because you said so.

    320741_703254.jpg

    ...and then when I saw this very handsome man I thought I had been redirected to another profile, but no, it's yours!

    So....."or is this just simply my reality that I need to accept?"

    No, it's a mis-perception of yourself that you have to grow out of. icon_wink.gif


    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    Naw. I'm not in a relationship, but I am definitely not alone now.
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    Dec 02, 2010 2:55 PM GMT
    RowBuddy saidIt gets worse



    icon_rolleyes.gif


    I'm proof that it doesn't. So is Bill and a ton of other guys on here.

    -Doug
  • 1974Warrior

    Posts: 90

    Dec 02, 2010 2:57 PM GMT
    sometimes.
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    Dec 02, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    I did when I was in my relationship because I was so scared that I would be alone if we broke up. But, to my most pleasant surprise, I am NOT alone. It was fear that kept me thinking that I would be alone if I broke up with my ex. It can get worse but that is up to you! You can, with hard work and patience, which you may not want to hear, make things better for yourself.
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    Dec 02, 2010 3:14 PM GMT
    I feel lonely from time to time, but not because I feel I'm unattractive. If someone isn't going to be your friend because they don't think you're attractive, they're not worth knowing.

    I'm generally lonely because I move around a lot. From your profile, it looks like you move around a bit as well, or maybe you just travel? Hard to make long-term friends when you're moving from one place to another. Then when you leave good friends behind, it makes it even harder. Sure you can visit, but nothing beats saying "let's go ____ this weekend" and hang with them.

    The good parts about having fewer friends where you're living? You're going to make an awesome start in your career when you graduate college. It makes it easier to change locations for a great job. You'll save a lot of money to pay student loans (those $10 - 15 movies add up!). You'll learn a lot about yourself with more time for self-reflexion.

    You'll get better over time at making friends. Your self-confidence will build and it'll be second nature. Just practice going out and meeting new people.
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    Dec 02, 2010 3:30 PM GMT
    I spent most of my 20s feeling like that. But, my 30s were definitely better as I got more comfortable with myself. Then I met my partner and WOW...how life has changed. Give yourself time and find ways to enjoy being in your 20s.
  • ohioguy12

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    Dec 02, 2010 4:08 PM GMT
    JC1989 said Im 21 now..and I feel 81.


    If this is true then you have a lot more problems than being alone.
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    Dec 02, 2010 4:13 PM GMT




    I Definetly Agree. icon_sad.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 4:17 PM GMT
    I felt that way when I was younger as well. It took a while to figure out who I was and what I wanted in life. The older I get, however, the younger I feel inside. My body can't do the things it did when I was in my 20's (which I often forget) but I'm happier and healthier than I've ever been.

    I think it also helps that I enjoy spending time by myself just as much as I enjoy being with friends and my partner.

    One of the best things that can help you feel better is doing volunteer work. So many organizations need volunteers right now and it's a good way to socialize.
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    Dec 02, 2010 4:19 PM GMT
    tumblr_lct0vcE7Ns1qen3wjo1_500.jpg
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    Dec 02, 2010 4:28 PM GMT
    I know that advice can sound hollow, but you are the shaper of your past, present and future. It is not what comes our way that is important, but rather how we handle it.

    You can improve the situtation, but nothing will happen unless you make it happen. You need a shot of self esteem and rocket fuel to get you up and moving. Find organizations to join, if that's not your thing then think about what you want to do and make a short life plan.

    Set goals and each day work to attain them. If you sit on your butt, indeed life will pass you by. I am 59 and have finally come out after a lifetime, but I have always grabbed life and eventually realized my dreams.

    You have to get off the porch if you want to chase the fox.....think about it, then just do it..................Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 02, 2010 4:30 PM GMT
    You can't help how you fell, but you should not imagine the future based on how you feel now.

    Feeling changes, and are not directly linked to you real situation.

    Most of us have periods where we are alone, and periods when not only we are alone, but feel very lonely.

    There is also periods when you have a good social life, and a friend betray you, and it hurt so much you would prefer to be alone.

    Period when you have a relationship, and it end, and you feel like shit, and you feel as you will never again engage in intimate relationship.

    Those bad times actually carve us into more experienced people, more able to put a grain of salt on how we feel, because feeling evolve over time.

    But I agree that, without years and years of experiencing it again and again, you can believe that what you think will never change. It's wrong.

    Life is fluid, dynamic, full of events, some good, some bad.

    The only way to feel always the same thing, it to make it a self fulfilling prophecy.

    Like 'I am unable to meet people, so there is no point trying to meet people, it will just frustrate me to fail each time".

    Just give life a chance.


  • TeddM

    Posts: 1

    Dec 02, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    Interesting question.

    For me I often feel alone simply because I don't have people in my life to have intimate conversations with. This is partially because my early life and career had me moving around from place to place, and partially because of artificial barriers I create.

    I have recently been digging a little deeper into the spirituality behind yoga, and it brought me to realize that I was disocunting some of the little joys I experience evey day in the world. If I am feeling lonely, I can do any of a number of things to end it, such as call a distant friend, invite local frinds to dinner, hang out at a cafe to meet someone new, or try a new social activity like two stepping to make new friends.

    And of course the easiest way not to feel lonely... smile while walking down the street. You'd be surprised how people open up when they see someone smiling.
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Dec 02, 2010 4:38 PM GMT
    I like being ALONE, but what you're describing is being LONELY. You're 21. Just starting out. You may feel it at times, but it's not a forever, okay?


    JC1989 saidIm asking just out of curiousity (probably won't get many replies...since their are so many good looking people on here)

    BUT, do you ever feel ugly, old and washed up? and that no one will ever want you?...I do and it sucks..I've always felt this way about my life...ppl keep saying "it will get better"...but Im 21 now..and I feel 81....does everyone go thru this?...or is this just simply my reality that I need to accept?

    Also when I say alone im not necessarily even talking about an intimate relationship...im talking about social life, friends as well as relationships...like "alone'...literally.