Do you ever get tired of trying to be perfect?

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    Dec 11, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    I get tired sometimes of all the things we have to do to be accepted or attractive as gay men. How fat I am, watch what you eat, manscape constantly, dress right, 6 pack abs, perfect hair, wax this, shave that....on and on and on, do you know what I mean?

    Sometimes I just want to say screw it all & let it all go, but I know I could never do that, but it does get exausting.
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    I hear ya loud and clear. Sometimes we are more work than my cars. There has to be a limit on how much we do, and a self realization that we will never be perfect......but then again, being gay just shot down all that logic, now didn't it?.............................Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidYep,,, it's a challenge... but I actually don't give it much thought and certainly don't ever fret over it.
    I'm far from perfect and love my flaws and those of others.
    OP.. it's no secret between you and me that I find you sexy the way you are.
    We are MEN... we come in all different shapes and sizes.
    I've had just as hot sex with guys that have a little extra padding as guys my own age or younger that are ripped and really tight.
    Hot is as hot does! I think confidence in a man shows and that's the first step in male attraction.. not the perfect packaging
    Not all guys think like this... but for my sake,, I'm glad I do.


    what the sexy texan said ^^^..................Keithicon_cool.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 11, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    Being "perfect" isn't realistic. Do I get tired of "being the best I can be"?
    Absolutely not.. it's a part of who I am!

    icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    If you want to get laid you need to take care of the packaging.
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:33 PM GMT
    Who said I have to try?
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:34 PM GMT
    unfounded7 saidWho said I have to try?


    ummmmmm hmmmmmmm
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:53 PM GMT
    I look at it this way: The better I look and feel about myself....the better I perform in life (physically, sexually, work, socially). You have the energy and confidence to make it thru your day. And doors start opening up for you. Then, success seems within reach.

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    Dec 11, 2010 5:14 PM GMT
    Unlike cars you can always roll back the mileage so enjoy yourself now and then and relax!
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    Aiming for it is one thing... trying to be it is another.
    When I am perfect, I have no more choices... and no more freedom.
    I've had the best adventure learning how to accept and grow beyond my imperfections.... I say embrace 'em!
  • mtnjock

    Posts: 104

    Dec 11, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    i never realized just how insecure and vain most gay men are; what a sad post to read;
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 11, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    I never did, nor will I ever play that game. I work out because it makes me feel good. I don't know how to dress, and have no interest in learning. I only clip body hair if I am physically uncomfortable.

    Ta-da.
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    Nature of the beast boys, but yes, I'm sure we all get fed up with it from time to time, sometimes I feel the harder I have to try, the more defeated I am, simple for the fact that I have to try at all, and no matter how much or how little, we all try and try. Caulk it up to self pride, vanity, narcissism, self loathing, or self love(no not that kind), but we all still try to look our best when we walk out the door.

    And why?, for no more of a reason then our culture demands it.
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    redbull said
    Sometimes I just want to say screw it all & let it all go......


    That's what I did. Now that Im retired from dating and relationships, I dont give two drops of piss about looking good for others. I fall out of bed, throw on whatever's clean and go, no more primping and over-grooming for me.

    It's very liberating. icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:31 PM GMT
    SAHEM62896 saidAiming for it is one thing... trying to be it is another.
    When I am perfect, I have no more choices... and no more freedom.
    I've had the best adventure learning how to accept and grow beyond my imperfections.... I say embrace 'em!


    Exactly. Well said. icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    mtnjock saidi never realized just how insecure and vain most gay men are; what a sad post to read;


    If you have nothing nice to say, better to say nothing.

    Redbull is honest enough to admit his own flaw, question them, and look for advice/opinion.

    You pick on a guy showing his vulnerability, and make a comment to make him feel bad about himself.

    Hope you wrote without thinking, otherwise, it tell tons about you, and make you rather ugly.
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:37 PM GMT
    I think the only thing we should strive for is the "perfect you/me" and not perfection as an ideal. I know that sounds very Oprah, but it's true.
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:41 PM GMT
    I don't try to be... I am what I am, love me or hate me!
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    Dec 11, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    redbull saidI get tired sometimes of all the things we have to do to be accepted or attractive as gay men. How fat I am, watch what you eat, manscape constantly, dress right, 6 pack abs, perfect hair, wax this, shave that....on and on and on, do you know what I mean?

    Sometimes I just want to say screw it all & let it all go, but I know I could never do that, but it does get exausting.


    Wouldn't it be better if we were just accepted for who we naturally are instead of how lean or muscly we are, how much money we have, whether we're groomed to perfection or not?

    I think, looks do matter to an extent as to how you present yourself to a person. However when appearances become your sole concern, then people are just going to perceive you as the image you're trying to portray -- and not the real you. The image ultimately becomes shattered. I don't know enough about the gay community to give good advice, but hopefully there are guys out there who aren't all just about the bod and the pretty faces.

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    Dec 11, 2010 6:02 PM GMT
    DCEric saidI never did, nor will I ever play that game. I work out because it makes me feel good. I don't know how to dress, and have no interest in learning. I only clip body hair if I am physically uncomfortable.

    Ta-da.


    so......the hair on your head was making you uncomfortable, I take it???....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 6:04 PM GMT
    hotguyxxx saidNature of the beast boys, but yes, I'm sure we all get fed up with it from time to time, sometimes I feel the harder I have to try, the more defeated I am, simple for the fact that I have to try at all, and no matter how much or how little, we all try and try. Caulk it up to self pride, vanity, narcissism, self loathing, or self love(no not that kind), but we all still try to look our best when we walk out the door.

    And why?, for no more of a reason then our culture demands it.


    This really intrigued me. Do most gay guys on here feel this way? Where does this pressure to look good come from?

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    Dec 11, 2010 6:05 PM GMT
    being a straight man or a lesbian is much easier.
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    Dec 11, 2010 6:10 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidbeing a straight man or a lesbian is much easier.


    actually, yes it was........(straight man, I mean. I haven't tried lesbian yet).......Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 6:18 PM GMT
    Complacency bores me; I always try to be more every day no matter how small that success may be. I've worked hard for who I am and I'm proud of every inch of me (tee hee) and I would never "let it go." It's just not in my nature.
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    Dec 11, 2010 6:19 PM GMT
    vetteset said
    Lostboy saidbeing a straight man or a lesbian is much easier.


    actually, yes it was........(straight man, I mean. I haven't tried lesbian yet).......Keithicon_cool.gif


    You knows... a straight guy is nothing more than a homosexual woman trapped in a male body ;-)