Disturbing Conversation At A Cocktail Party Last Night

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:50 PM GMT
    About 16 gays here in Wilton Manors at a private home, a glorious night of perfect weather along the river, the house beautifully done for Christmas (with Jewish decorations, too, for one of the 2 owners, a gay couple). The occasion was two-fold: one of those owners celebrating his upcoming "hooding" for his doctorate in the Spring, plus a couple of guests from Atlanta, one of whom turned 50 that day.

    And another gay couple from Atlanta was there, who keep one of their several residences in Wilton Manors and berth their yacht in Fort Lauderdale. They were telling us about a recent outing they took on that boat with the nephew of one of them, also from Georgia. The guy is straight, 21, and brought his girlfriend along.

    Well, the nephew dove off an upper deck of the yacht's stern (as I've done myself), and struck his leg on the winch for the Zenith (an outboard dingy for going ashore, not unlike a Zodiac with which you may be familiar), causing a small cut in his leg. While in the water he yells back: "I hope no one has AIDS, before I come back onboard!" (The nephew knows his uncle and friends are gay, a number of whom were also onboard, a few at last night's party)

    Later they used the Zenith to go over to Beer Can Island, along the Intracoastal Waterway, and very near Haulover Beach & State Park, for those of you who know it north of Miami. And while ashore he said to his uncle: "There are sure a lot of coons here."

    And our Atlanta friend said to us he didn't know what coons meant. Which kinda surprised me, since even I did from the Northeast, but then I'm about 12 years older than him. So he told his nephew he didn't think there were any raccoons on that island. And they went back & forth in confusion, until the nephew finally said: "I meant N***ers."

    You should have seen the horror on the faces of the guests last night. And these guys were all very late 40s and older, most actually 50s (most of whom didn't know the pejorative slang term coon, either). All white, too, because some of our black friends I would have normally expected to attend couldn't come.

    And I was kinda proud of them in a way. And how they ruthlessly attacked our friend's bigoted nephew, not the usual polite & proper behavior regarding a friend's relative, but ripping him to shreds. And the uncle agreed, and said his nephew was now an outcast, to which his partner concurred.

    Well, this is the USA in the 21st Century, for RJ members who don't live here. Still full of racial prejudice, and gay prejudice, and just plain prejudice. Some of us don't think like bigots, but so many of us do. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 4:56 PM GMT
    The nephew should've drowned.

    What a cretin.

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    Dec 11, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    OtterJoq saidThe nephew should've drowned.

    What a cretin.

    More or less the comments made about him last night.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 11, 2010 5:34 PM GMT
    I'd like to disagree with the 'racism is alive and well' comment at the end. True still present, but based on what you observed, the 'well' part of things doesn't seem to be the case. Even I remember a time when everyone would have shift their position in the chair, and not said a word one way or the other.

    Congrats to the others at the party.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Dec 11, 2010 5:50 PM GMT
    omg, INCORRIGIBLE!!!!!
  • TxGrunt

    Posts: 71

    Dec 11, 2010 5:56 PM GMT
    concur. sad. tar and feather and then teach!
  • jeepguySD

    Posts: 651

    Dec 11, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    OtterJoq saidThe nephew should've drowned.


    As much as I abhor the nephew's comments and apparent attitudes, that seem a bit extreme.

    Bigots, racists, homophobes, etc., dehumanize the people they hate -- it makes it easier to hate someone, and especially easier to harm someone.

    Let's not slip into the trap of becoming like them in either language, attitudes or actions.
  • Sk8Tex

    Posts: 738

    Dec 11, 2010 6:25 PM GMT
    Just wonderin.. you know the apple doesn't usually fall far from the tree.. How's the father of the nephew?
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 11, 2010 6:47 PM GMT
    To debate:

    Immediate, severe condemnation and ostracizing is greatly to be preferred to disagreement, tolerant education, and open discussion. Liberated gays should certainly take this stance because they no longer have to deal with immediate condemnation especially in their own enclaves.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Dec 11, 2010 7:10 PM GMT
    To be honest...You don't understand...since it was your party and all...Why didn't you tell him to kindly leave?....Your lack of saying something makes it appear you had no problem in what he said...Don't ever let manners overstep what lies in your heart...Ever.......BUD
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    Dec 11, 2010 7:17 PM GMT
    Atlanta is very progressive in a lot of ways, and in some ways it still has some ways to go. I am not surprised. I have seen it so many times before.

    But I agree, how is the nephew's Dad? He didn't just learn those behaviors on his own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    This is truly disturbing and hurtful, aside from being quite an embarrassment for the uncle.

    At the same time I deeply believe that this boy needs to be methodologically set straight. Outcasting him will be counterproductive, whereas teaching him in a meaningful nurturing way towards tolerance is part and parcel of OUR goal. Otherwise he'll just know that to continue thinking like he does is acceptable. In addition to which he needs to be taught so that he helps to contribute to raising a new and better generation. Let's look around us, at all the intolerant people who are convinced that they are the last word in decency, ...but aren't. If it's broken fix it.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Dec 11, 2010 7:26 PM GMT
    TRDMRK said
    mybud saidTo be honest...You don't understand...since it was your party and all...Why didn't you tell him to kindly leave?....Your lack of saying something makes it appear you had no problem in what he said...Don't ever let manners overstep what lies in your heart...Ever.......BUD


    u musta missed the point..


    Respectfully man....Well nahhh...Cause when I first comment came out of his mouth...That's when action should have been taken...BUD...By the host
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    Dec 11, 2010 7:28 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    Well, this is the USA in the 21st Century, for RJ members who don't live here. Still full of racial prejudice, and gay prejudice, and just plain prejudice. Some of us don't think like bigots, but so many of us do. icon_sad.gif


    Based on your story I would argue that the USA has some people like your friend's nephew (as do all countries in the world) but it also has a LOT of good people who react to racism just like your friends did.

    No place in the world is perfect but I think we're headed in the right direction.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    While the conversation was disturbing, what is even more disturbing is the racism and anti-gay statements made by gay men in these threads here on RJ. From an exchange of two RJ members in a thread just today, this homophobic statement was made (and not in joking way): "calm down you fuckin homo."
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 11, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    HeartRobb saidWhile the conversation was disturbing, what is even more disturbing is the racism and anti-gay statements made by gay men in these threads here on RJ. From an exchange of two RJ members in a thread just today, this homophobic statement was made (and not in joking way): "calm down you fuckin homo."



    Which goes to show that gay men also.....have a long way to go icon_sad.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 11, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    TRDMRK said

    yeah but see, the host don't care..
    u must've not ignored him way back when i actually did
    cuz the point of this thread, like the rest of them,
    is NOT to tell you about what happened..

    it's about everything else and why he's such a great... uh, guy... icon_eek.gif

    kinda like the thread where he just had to talk about his fourth or 5th macbook?
    it enraged all the queens to bash him for not giving to charity..
    then he had to go on another rant as to how he and his partner
    donate to charity more than they make in their entire lives.

    if u missed that, then u missed the piano one......
    where yet again, we encountered a rant about how difficult it was
    to get good service when shopping for (approx) a $9,000.00 piano.

    and then there's this...
    where it wasn't even about the nephew and his funny yet racist n inappropriate remarks
    it's about his jewish friend and everything else included in it
    frankly, i've discussed this w someone else from here once before

    we came upon the conclusion that since he doesn't really 'fit in',
    he has to make up for it somehow... this is it.


    WOW...I missed all of this also...icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Dec 11, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    the worst. seriously, I would have went for it and threw him under the bus
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Dec 11, 2010 7:41 PM GMT
    TRDMRK said
    mybud said
    TRDMRK said
    mybud saidTo be honest...You don't understand...since it was your party and all...Why didn't you tell him to kindly leave?....Your lack of saying something makes it appear you had no problem in what he said...Don't ever let manners overstep what lies in your heart...Ever.......BUD


    u musta missed the point..


    Respectfully man....Well nahhh...Cause when I first comment came out of his mouth...That's when action should have been taken...BUD...By the host


    yeah but see, the host don't care..
    u must've not ignored him way back when i actually did
    cuz the point of this thread, like the rest of them,
    is NOT to tell you about what happened..

    it's about everything else and why he's such a great... uh, guy... icon_eek.gif

    kinda like the thread where he just had to talk about his fourth or 5th macbook?
    it enraged all the queens to bash him for not giving to charity..
    then he had to go on another rant as to how he and his partner
    donate to charity more than they make in their entire lives.

    if u missed that, then u missed the piano one......
    where yet again, we encountered a rant about how difficult it was
    to get good service when shopping for (approx) a $9,000.00 piano.

    and then there's this...
    where it wasn't even about the nephew and his funny yet racist n inappropriate remarks
    it's about his jewish friend and everything else included in it
    frankly, i've discussed this w someone else from here once before

    we came upon the conclusion that since he doesn't really 'fit in',
    he has to make up for it somehow... this is it.
    see your point...me...owned...BUD
  • mke_bt

    Posts: 707

    Dec 11, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidAbout 16 gays here in Wilton Manors at a private home, a glorious night of perfect weather along the river, the house beautifully done for Christmas (with Jewish decorations, too, for one of the owners). The occasion was two-fold: one of those owners celebrating his upcoming "hooding" for his doctorate in the Spring, and a couple of guests from Atlanta, one of whom turned 50 that day.

    [quote][cite]QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HERE[/cite]And another gay couple from Atlanta, who keep one of their several residences in Wilton Manors and berth their yacht in Fort Lauderdale, were telling us about a recent outing they recently took on that boat with the nephew of one of them, also from Georgia. The guy is straight, 21, and brought his girlfriend along.


    Well, the nephew dove off an upper deck of the yacht's stern (as I've done myself), and struck his leg on the winch for the Zenith (an outboard dingy for going ashore, not unlike a Zodiac with which you may be familiar), causing a small cut in his leg. While in the water he yells back: "I hope no one has AIDS, before I come back onboard!" (The nephew knows his uncle and friends are gay, a number of whom were also onboard, a few at last night's party)

    Later they used the Zenith to go over to Beer Can Island, along the Intracoastal Waterway, and very near Haulover Beach & State Park, for those of you who know it north of Miami. And while ashore he said to his uncle: "There are sure a lot of coons here."

    And our Atlanta friend said to us he didn't know what coons meant. Which kinda surprised me, since even I did from the Northeast, but then I'm about 12 years older than him. So he told his nephew he didn't think there were any raccoons on that island. And they went back & forth in confusion, until the nephew finally said: "I meant N***ers."

    You should have seen the horror on the faces of the guests last night. And these guys were all very late 40s and older, most actually 50s (most of whom didn't know the pejorative slang term coon, either). All white, too, because some of our black friends I would have normally expected to attend couldn't come.

    And I was kinda proud of them in a way. And how they ruthlessly attacked our friend's bigoted nephew, not the usual polite & proper behavior regarding a friend's relative, but ripping him to shreds. And the uncle agreed, and said his nephew was now an outcast, to which his partner concurred.

    Well, this is the USA in the 21st Century, for RJ members who don't live here. Still full of racial prejudice, and gay prejudice, and just plain prejudice. Some of us don't think like bigots, but so many of us do. icon_sad.gif[/quote]

    So this didn't happen to you? It's just something you heard second-hand?
    By the responses this thread has gotten, people think it happened on your watch. Way to try to stir up drama.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 11, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    Certainly unfortunate behavior by a spoiled brat it seems.... but I'm not sure I'd condemn how things are in the USA in the 21st century based on the
    behavior of a 21 year old brat.

    I understand your point.. there are many others like that 21 year old who'd use such language to stir up issues....... sounds like he needs to grow up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 9:54 PM GMT
    The nephew is, at best, callow and not too bright.

    As for those advocating a more nurturing response. . . save the Ward Cleaver lecture for later.

    He deserved a nice little embarrassing smackdown right there. Sounds like he got it.
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    Dec 11, 2010 9:59 PM GMT
    Sk8Tex saidJust wonderin.. you know the apple doesn't usually fall far from the tree.. How's the father of the nephew?

    Good question. The uncle, our friend who told the story last night, whose brother is the father of this idiot, said he's just like his son.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 10:01 PM GMT
    racism in Georgia? weird.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 11, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    mybud saidTo be honest...You don't understand...since it was your party and all...Why didn't you tell him to kindly leave?....Your lack of saying something makes it appear you had no problem in what he said...Don't ever let manners overstep what lies in your heart...Ever.......BUD

    You misread my OP. We were also guests, and this story was related by a gay couple who were down from Atlanta, as they do most weekends. I was not in a position to tell anybody to leave. And why should the guys on whose boat this incident occurred be required to leave anyway, who were telling us about it? Nor was the bigoted nephew in question there, being back up in Georgia.

    You got the whole thing all twisted around.