Does Going on a Date have to Lead to Marriage?

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    Dec 11, 2010 6:17 PM GMT
    It seems I read more and more threads/posts here that would indicate standards set by some guys are dooming them to a life of loneliness and/or celibacy.

    Now this may sound a little Flinstonian, but when I was in my dating hayday, going on a date simply met getting off your ass, going out and enjoying an evening with someone. It didn't automatically infer that you were either going to sleep with the date, start an LTR, or jump into a marriage.

    But it seems to me that so many are sitting on their asses bemoaning the fact they have no one and at the same time are bitching about being asked out by someone who is 'not their type'. Why not just go out, meet people and have some fun? Or is my head up my ass?..............Keithicon_cool.gif
  • masculumpedes

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    Dec 11, 2010 6:23 PM GMT
    I totally agree with you.....those were the good ol' days icon_wink.gif
  • masculumpedes

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    Dec 11, 2010 6:26 PM GMT
    vetteset said

    But it seems to me that so many are sitting on their asses bemoaning the fact they have no one and at the same time are bitching about being asked out by someone who is 'not their type'.


    These are the candy-ass type of guys.....icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 11:03 PM GMT
    vetteset saidDoes Going on a Date have to Lead to Marriage?



    Usually only among lesbians. j/k
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    Dec 11, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
    vetteset saidIt seems I read more and more threads/posts here that would indicate standards set by some guys are dooming them to a life of loneliness and/or celibacy.

    Now this may sound a little Flinstonian, but when I was in my dating hayday, going on a date simply met getting off your ass, going out and enjoying an evening with someone. It didn't automatically infer that you were either going to sleep with the date, start an LTR, or jump into a marriage.

    But it seems to me that so many are sitting on their asses bemoaning the fact they have no one and at the same time are bitching about being asked out by someone who is 'not their type'. Why not just go out, meet people and have some fun? Or is my head up my ass?..............Keithicon_cool.gif

    Wonderful points. And not merely matters of semantics regarding what a "date" is, but also a matter of tactics.

    I've always said that one of the best ways to find your type is to date as many guys as you can. I continue to use the fishing analogy: you drop bait dozens of times to get a nibble, and have dozens of nibbles before you get a bite. And even after you haul it in, it may not be a keeper, and you have to throw it back in and start over.

    But eventually you'll get your keeper. You catch nothing staying at home, or dropping bait once a week for an hour. It takes some work, ya know. Your guy isn't gonna come knocking on your door all by himself just because you're all lonely in there (unless you're into Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses).

    Plus you date often to learn about guys, and also about yourself. When I first came out I understood my initial step was self-education. I knew zip about the gay world. So first I taught myself. I met good guys, I met bad guys, I met guys my type, and guys who positively frightened me.

    But I was constantly dating guys, and every one was a learning experience. So that my odds for meeting the right guy were greater, and also better that I'd be experienced enough to know the wrong guys from the right guy when he finally came along. And that's exactly how it turned out. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 11, 2010 11:20 PM GMT
    Draper saidReminds me of........

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1185676


    Not quite, My point is whether you call it a date or going out with friends,. some guys will sit on their ass and do neither because all the boxes on their acceptable lists aren't checked off; and then they piss and whine they can't find anyone to do anything with.....I didn't think it really needed in depth explanations.........yabbafuckingdabbafuckingdoo..
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    Dec 12, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    I hear you Keith. Even talking to some guys online and they're ready to pick out china.

    I'm very honest when I go out to meet a guy. I tell them from the get go it's just coffee and that I'm not looking for a relationship, but open to the possibility.

    Still hasn't stopped some guys acting as though we're exclusive after 2 coffee dates. Oh the drama.
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    Dec 12, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    For four single women in Manhattan, New York it does.
  • turtleneckjoc...

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    Dec 12, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    No, Keith it doesn't mean that one date turns into a LTR. I'm with you on the good old days.

    Having a nice dinner, maybe a movie or attending a sporting event with a really nice guy sound so inviting. Romance afterwards is icing on the cake.....

    .....Oh my.....I think I need a cold shower here......icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 12, 2010 3:28 AM GMT
    A1EX saidFor four single women in Manhattan, New York it does.


    Win!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 12, 2010 4:49 AM GMT
    Well fortunately and unfortunately when you look at it today, going on a date 98% of the time means that you're going to sleep with him. As for it being the express train to marriage...not in my book.

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    Dec 12, 2010 5:12 AM GMT
    But I guess I'm not hitting the target. What I am asking is whatever happened to just going on a date for an evening out, for the fun, for the company, to get out of the fucking house. Some guys have this attiude that if the guy asking doesn't rate up to their great expectations of some super god, they wont't go out.
    I'm saying, its a fucking date, you don't have to marry, fuck or live with him. go out for fun, instead of sitting at home bitching there is nothing to do and no one to do it with.

    We used to have blind dates. My mom and dad met on one. She couldn't stand him. They stayed married for 58 years until her death...
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    Dec 12, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    vetteset saidBut I guess I'm not hitting the target. What I am asking is whatever happened to just going on a date for an evening out, for the fun, for the company, to get out of the fucking house. Some guys have this attiude that if the guy asking doesn't rate up to their great expectations of some super god, they wont't go out.
    I'm saying, its a fucking date, you don't have to marry, fuck or live with him. go out for fun, instead of sitting at home bitching there is nothing to do and no one to do it with.

    We used to have blind dates. My mom and dad met on one. She couldn't stand him. They stayed married for 58 years until her death...


    This is a good perspective to have for the future icon_smile.gif i like this thread, there's a lot of truth in it.
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    Dec 12, 2010 4:16 PM GMT
    Good grief, Bill and I had no expectations of marriage when we met, or even that things would get serious. In fact we were rather terrified at the intensity and momentum that our relationship, (starting with the first night we met cuddling and talking all night) attained.

    -Doug
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    Dec 12, 2010 6:16 PM GMT
    vetteset saidIt seems I read more and more threads/posts here that would indicate standards set by some guys are dooming them to a life of loneliness and/or celibacy.

    Now this may sound a little Flinstonian, but when I was in my dating hayday, going on a date simply met getting off your ass, going out and enjoying an evening with someone. It didn't automatically infer that you were either going to sleep with the date, start an LTR, or jump into a marriage.

    But it seems to me that so many are sitting on their asses bemoaning the fact they have no one and at the same time are bitching about being asked out by someone who is 'not their type'. Why not just go out, meet people and have some fun? Or is my head up my ass?..............Keithicon_cool.gif

    Did you whine like this for the whole 59 years you were IN the closet?

    Good grief! ... icon_rolleyes.gif

    I am not surprised you didn't complain about your dates. You couldn't even tell you were dating the wrong sex. You're all fucked up and you are gonna correct others.