Safe Exploration of sexuality? Is m4m massage the answer?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2010 6:09 AM GMT
    A friend of mine said gay massage or a m4m experience would be a good way to explore my sexuality without cheating. I love men and have an over active sex drive. I'm affectionate and love the interaction that only a sexy confident man can provide. I have been caught and outed a few times by past lovers.

    Since I'm aware it may be a problem, I'm trying to be good in my current relationship, however I have a roaming eye for ultra good looking masc men. I also believe in being selfish and grabbing pleasure where it comes and still want to be touched by a guy without offending and driving off my partner.

    Is massage my answer? And if I get the massage with all the trimmings and endings. Is this cheating...and will I be satisfied with the limitation of the encounter. Here's hoping not.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2010 3:03 PM GMT
    Massage is basically making love.

    A quick hook up is down and dirty and can be over in ten minutes.

    With massage, it lasts longer, it's far more sensual, and the connection you make with the other guy is a LOT more intense than just giving a guy a bj. There's also a lot more preparation, so there's 'intent.' A hook up is more of an impulse.

    In my book massage is more like cheating X10.

    I think.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Dec 13, 2010 3:22 PM GMT
    If you're getting a release from a masseur without the consent of your partner, then I would consider it cheating, yes.

    If you are unsatisfied sexually in your relationship, sooner or later you will either cheat or break up with this partner to find one who can satisfy your needs more or who is willing to let you get your needs met elsewhere without it being a deal breaker.

    Honesty is always the best policy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2010 3:23 PM GMT
    Wouldn't do that if I were you....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 13, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
    Sounds like you want an open relationship but are in one with a guy who wants monogamy. These two things are incompatible.

    Another incompatability: "I also believe in being selfish and grabbing pleasure where it comes and still want to be touched by a guy without offending and driving off my partner." If you fall down on the side of selfishness, you really can not have much of a relationship with your boyfriend or anyone else for that matter.

    Why not find a partner who is a selfish pleasure seeker desirous of an open, no rules relationship where you play separately when not playing together? You will break fewer hearts that way and have all the fun you seek.
  • metta

    Posts: 39144

    Dec 13, 2010 3:51 PM GMT
    So your saying that you are truly unable and/or unwilling to really control yourself. That your sex drive controls you and not the other way around. icon_confused.gif And that you are looking for any possibility of seeking out intimacy of other men. If that is the case, if you choose to be in a relationship, you should only be in an open relationship. You should never seek a relationship with someone that wants monogamy. It is unfair to do so.
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    Dec 13, 2010 3:56 PM GMT
    I feel NIVEK has the answer. Else, you will continue to hurt guys (and yourself) that seek monogamy. Be honest with yourself and those you love.

    And for "!*@&!" sake.... BE SAFE!!!
  • tokugawa

    Posts: 945

    Dec 13, 2010 4:08 PM GMT
    The answer may be a 12 step group for sexual compulsives, a.k.a. sex addicts. It is similar to traditional AA type groups.
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Dec 13, 2010 4:11 PM GMT
    i def feel its a form of cheating, you're actively looking for something and trying to find a loophole. i'd def stay away if i were you
  • irishcream

    Posts: 42

    Dec 13, 2010 5:46 PM GMT
    i think that if it is just a physical thing and no emotions are involved then it wont be considered cheating...

    then again, why not use the tenga sex cups by http://www.tengatango.com and save yourself the agony of wanting to get off and fearing of being caught by the BF?

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    Dec 13, 2010 10:59 PM GMT
    lifecast2020 saidMassage is basically making love.

    A quick hook up is down and dirty and can be over in ten minutes.

    With massage, it lasts longer, it's far more sensual, and the connection you make with the other guy is a LOT more intense than just giving a guy a bj. There's also a lot more preparation, so there's 'intent.' A hook up is more of an impulse.

    In my book massage is more like cheating X10.

    I think.


    You obviously have no idea what a massage is otherwise you wouldn't lump it all under a blanket that makes legitimate massage therapists all sound like hookers.

    In the context of the OP though, yes it's cheating. You're seeking out someone's services for sexual gratification not for pain relief, stress relief, or other health purposes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2010 2:46 AM GMT
    LovnMeSomeMen saidA friend of mine said gay massage or a m4m experience would be a good way to explore my sexuality without cheating. I love men and have an over active sex drive. I'm affectionate and love the interaction that only a sexy confident man can provide. I have been caught and outed a few times by past lovers.

    Since I'm aware it may be a problem, I'm trying to be good in my current relationship, however I have a roaming eye for ultra good looking masc men. I also believe in being selfish and grabbing pleasure where it comes and still want to be touched by a guy without offending and driving off my partner.

    Is massage my answer? And if I get the massage with all the trimmings and endings. Is this cheating...and will I be satisfied with the limitation of the encounter. Here's hoping not.





    For you, therapy is likely a very good option.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Dec 14, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    You are not looking to explore your sexuality through massage. You are looking for approval for what you think is a way to have sex without maintaining commitment to your mate.

    That is not nice.

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Feb 26, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    LovnMeSomeMen saidA friend of mine said gay massage or a m4m experience would be a good way to explore my sexuality without cheating. I love men and have an over active sex drive. I'm affectionate and love the interaction that only a sexy confident man can provide. I have been caught and outed a few times by past lovers.

    Since I'm aware it may be a problem, I'm trying to be good in my current relationship, however I have a roaming eye for ultra good looking masc men. I also believe in being selfish and grabbing pleasure where it comes and still want to be touched by a guy without offending and driving off my partner.

    Is massage my answer? And if I get the massage with all the trimmings and endings. Is this cheating...and will I be satisfied with the limitation of the encounter. Here's hoping not.





    It's cheating! Reason #4 men should always wear a condom-even in monogamous relationships!!
    You're a D-bag. Let your b/f go find someone who is happy with just one man.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 29, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidYou guys are feeding a troll.
    MikemikeMike hasnt figured out he's answering a two year old troll thread! Duh!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 01, 2012 8:26 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidYou guys are feeding a troll.
    MikemikeMike hasnt figured out he's answering a two year old troll thread! Duh!

    Who gives a rat's ass. You live in Tampa right?? Bwahhahahah. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 01, 2012 11:26 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    TropicalMark said
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidYou guys are feeding a troll.
    MikemikeMike hasnt figured out he's answering a two year old troll thread! Duh!

    Who gives a rat's ass. You live in Tampa right?? Bwahhahahah. icon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    Nope.. learn your geography, learn to read.. I thought you worked in a "newsroom".. not too bright are ya?
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 02, 2012 10:24 AM GMT
    I do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
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    Mar 02, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike saidI do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
    Gee.. I guess you just assume people live wherever you 'think' they doicon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    Its not a wonder why you arent in front of a camera.. you cant read worth a damn.

    Additionally, do you have a clue to what a "producer" in a newsroom does or is expected to? I do!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
    Ya might want to research that!
    You dont show those skills/abilities here whatsoever.icon_wink.gif

    Guess you dont like the "brutal honesty" do ya?icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 02, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    I think this is a purely personal question; different people will come to different conclusions which are right for them.
    If you try it and feel terribly guilty afterwards, I think you must consider it cheating.
    For the record: I would not, personally.
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    Mar 02, 2012 2:51 PM GMT


    Is massage my answer? And if I get the massage with all the trimmings and endings. Is this cheating...and will I be satisfied with the limitation of the encounter. Here's hoping not.

    no, it is not the answer ans yes it is cheating duh

    [/quote]
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 04, 2012 11:19 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike saidI do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
    Gee.. I guess you just assume people live wherever you 'think' they doicon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    Its not a wonder why you arent in front of a camera.. you cant read worth a damn.

    Additionally, do you have a clue to what a "producer" in a newsroom does or is expected to? I do!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
    Ya might want to research that!
    You dont show those skills/abilities here whatsoever.icon_wink.gif

    Guess you dont like the "brutal honesty" do ya?icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    This was in my mail this week. I copied and pasted it. Yes this member had a spelling error, but I knew what he meant. You're not exactly the brightest bulb on here! You're about as brilliant as a small appliance bulb. You could NEVER do my job, or earn what I earn in a year.

    "You two sound like incredable people, but I must ask why you answer to me as if you are two of the same. Do you share this profile? What isthe profession you two work in, because your way of speak is very professional, like a journalist."

    I answered back, my b/f of 9 yrs is not on here. I am a network producer and he has his PHD in Psych and 2 masters degrees. Sometimes when I get home from work he reads some of this, but because of the few D-bags and simpletons like you he decided to not join RJ. He also doesn't have the time. I do this at work in between doing 20 other things so I can't say I review it all for spelling and grammar. Ever heard of multi-tasking. My work is always perfection. Here, again I could give a rat's ass. RJ is ok for a distraction and for shits and giggles. I give great advice to so many RJ members as well. I love brutal honesty.

    Correct sentence. Additionally, do you even know what a producer does, or what they are expected to know?? I do.
    I was awarded a Peabody Award in my career for oustanding achievement in a segment broadcast. What do you do for work???? I would imagine someone of your caliber and intellect would probably work in a bowling alley!icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2012 3:23 AM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike saidI do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
    Gee.. I guess you just assume people live wherever you 'think' they doicon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    Its not a wonder why you arent in front of a camera.. you cant read worth a damn.

    Additionally, do you have a clue to what a "producer" in a newsroom does or is expected to? I do!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
    Ya might want to research that!
    You dont show those skills/abilities here whatsoever.icon_wink.gif

    Guess you dont like the "brutal honesty" do ya?icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    This was in my mail this week. I copied and pasted it. Yes this member had a spelling error, but I knew what he meant. You're not exactly the brightest bulb on here! You're about as brilliant as a small appliance bulb. You could NEVER do my job, or earn what I earn in a year.

    "You two sound like incredable people, but I must ask why you answer to me as if you are two of the same. Do you share this profile? What isthe profession you two work in, because your way of speak is very professional, like a journalist."

    I answered back, my b/f of 9 yrs is not on here. I am a network producer and he has his PHD in Psych and 2 masters degrees. Sometimes when I get home from work he reads some of this, but because of the few D-bags and simpletons like you he decided to not join RJ. He also doesn't have the time. I do this at work in between doing 20 other things so I can't say I review it all for spelling and grammar. Ever heard of multi-tasking. My work is always perfection. Here, again I could give a rat's ass. RJ is ok for a distraction and for shits and giggles. I give great advice to so many RJ members as well. I love brutal honesty.

    Correct sentence. Additionally, do you even know what a producer does, or what they are expected to know?? I do.
    I was awarded a Peabody Award in my career for oustanding achievement in a segment broadcast. What do you do for work???? I would imagine someone of your caliber and intellect would probably work in a bowling alley!icon_lol.gif
    Hey dumbass.. read my profile.. and dont go filling everyone up with your bogus claims of income superiority over others.

    Those that "assume" and "boast" are 99% of the time nothing but liars. You got caught/exposed. what can I say?
    A peabody award for what? Check your spelling.. you fail.

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Mar 05, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike said
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike saidI do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
    Gee.. I guess you just assume people live wherever you 'think' they doicon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    Its not a wonder why you arent in front of a camera.. you cant read worth a damn.

    Additionally, do you have a clue to what a "producer" in a newsroom does or is expected to? I do!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
    Ya might want to research that!
    You dont show those skills/abilities here whatsoever.icon_wink.gif

    Guess you dont like the "brutal honesty" do ya?icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    This was in my mail this week. I copied and pasted it. Yes this member had a spelling error, but I knew what he meant. You're not exactly the brightest bulb on here! You're about as brilliant as a small appliance bulb. You could NEVER do my job, or earn what I earn in a year.

    "You two sound like incredable people, but I must ask why you answer to me as if you are two of the same. Do you share this profile? What isthe profession you two work in, because your way of speak is very professional, like a journalist."

    I answered back, my b/f of 9 yrs is not on here. I am a network producer and he has his PHD in Psych and 2 masters degrees. Sometimes when I get home from work he reads some of this, but because of the few D-bags and simpletons like you he decided to not join RJ. He also doesn't have the time. I do this at work in between doing 20 other things so I can't say I review it all for spelling and grammar. Ever heard of multi-tasking. My work is always perfection. Here, again I could give a rat's ass. RJ is ok for a distraction and for shits and giggles. I give great advice to so many RJ members as well. I love brutal honesty.

    Correct sentence. Additionally, do you even know what a producer does, or what they are expected to know?? I do.
    I was awarded a Peabody Award in my career for oustanding achievement in a segment broadcast. What do you do for work???? I would imagine someone of your caliber and intellect would probably work in a bowling alley!icon_lol.gif
    Hey dumbass.. read my profile.. and dont go filling everyone up with your bogus claims of income superiority over others.

    Those that "assume" and "boast" are 99% of the time nothing but liars. You got caught/exposed. what can I say?
    A peabody award for what? Check your spelling.. you fail.



    Caught?? Hahaha the only thing you could catch is another STD.icon_idea.gif

    THE GEORGE FOSTER PEABODY AWARDS
    First presented in 1941, the George Foster Peabody Awards recognize distinguished achievement and meritorious service by broadcasters, cable and Webcasters, producing organizations, and individuals. The awards program is administered by the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication at the University of Georgia. Selection is made each spring by the Peabody Board, a 16-member panel of distinguished academics, television critics, industry practitioners and experts in culture and the arts.

    Of course you never heard of them--You don't work in the industry.icon_idea.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 05, 2012 1:36 PM GMT
    MikemikeMike said
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike said
    TropicalMark said
    MikemikeMike saidI do, as a producer and before that in front of the camera. I don't know where you live because I never looked at your profile.icon_neutral.gif I don't care or need to do so because I just know your a shithead from your forum responses.icon_smile.gif
    RJ fact #21
    Gee.. I guess you just assume people live wherever you 'think' they doicon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif

    Its not a wonder why you arent in front of a camera.. you cant read worth a damn.

    Additionally, do you have a clue to what a "producer" in a newsroom does or is expected to? I do!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
    Ya might want to research that!
    You dont show those skills/abilities here whatsoever.icon_wink.gif

    Guess you dont like the "brutal honesty" do ya?icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif


    This was in my mail this week. I copied and pasted it. Yes this member had a spelling error, but I knew what he meant. You're not exactly the brightest bulb on here! You're about as brilliant as a small appliance bulb. You could NEVER do my job, or earn what I earn in a year.

    "You two sound like incredable people, but I must ask why you answer to me as if you are two of the same. Do you share this profile? What isthe profession you two work in, because your way of speak is very professional, like a journalist."

    I answered back, my b/f of 9 yrs is not on here. I am a network producer and he has his PHD in Psych and 2 masters degrees. Sometimes when I get home from work he reads some of this, but because of the few D-bags and simpletons like you he decided to not join RJ. He also doesn't have the time. I do this at work in between doing 20 other things so I can't say I review it all for spelling and grammar. Ever heard of multi-tasking. My work is always perfection. Here, again I could give a rat's ass. RJ is ok for a distraction and for shits and giggles. I give great advice to so many RJ members as well. I love brutal honesty.

    Correct sentence. Additionally, do you even know what a producer does, or what they are expected to know?? I do.
    I was awarded a Peabody Award in my career for oustanding achievement in a segment broadcast. What do you do for work???? I would imagine someone of your caliber and intellect would probably work in a bowling alley!icon_lol.gif
    Hey dumbass.. read my profile.. and dont go filling everyone up with your bogus claims of income superiority over others.

    Those that "assume" and "boast" are 99% of the time nothing but liars. You got caught/exposed. what can I say?
    A peabody award for what? Check your spelling.. you fail.



    Caught?? Hahaha the only thing you could catch is another STD.icon_idea.gif

    THE GEORGE FOSTER PEABODY AWARDS
    First presented in 1941, the George Foster Peabody Awards recognize distinguished achievement and meritorious service by broadcasters, cable and Webcasters, producing organizations, and individuals. The awards program is administered by the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communication at the University of Georgia. Selection is made each spring by the Peabody Board, a 16-member panel of distinguished academics, television critics, industry practitioners and experts in culture and the arts.

    Of course you never heard of them--You don't work in the industry.icon_idea.gif
    And neither do you.. Got check the other 'Information and spelling' failure you got exposed for.. yeah "newsroom producer" my ass. 147199_o.gif