mkubwa saidi am just so desperately depressed and hopeless right now, i want to know if anyone has ever recovered from depression.
Yes, people have recovered from depression.
mkubwa saidtherapy has been so useless that i'm not even bothering with it anymore.
Many people have been helped by therapy. If you don't bother with it anymore, then it is impossible for you to be helped by therapy. Give it a chance. It can help ease the pain, and sometimes it can cure the pain.
One alternative to therapy is to be miserable for the rest of your life.
It sound like your depression will not go away by itself and you may not be putting enough effort into your own wellness; if you do not like your therapist, change therapists!
mkubwa saidthe meds have been damaging and i'm never going on another one.
How many meds did you try? One? Two? For some people, the first antidepressant works, but not everybody. For some people, the third different meds work, for some people, the tenth different meds work. Wouldn't it be a bummer if you give up on meds when the very next one would be the one that works?
If you are never going on another med, then it is impossible for you to be helped by meds. A majority of people are helped by meds. Minor side effects, such as dry mouth or excessive sweating, are common. Major side effects, such as a manic episode, are rare; see your doctor immediately if this happens.
mkubwa saidi've completely lost interest in drawing ...
... didn't you ever lose interest before, and then pick it up again?
mkubwa said ... and my friends, i just don't want to talk to any of them anymore.
If you don't talk to your friends anymore, then it is impossible for you to be helped by your friends.
mkubwa said ... i dont want to hurt my parents but i cant see living my life just so they won't be saddened when i'm gone.
Try living your life for yourself. Set goals like:
1. Socializing with your friends (you might have a good time,)
2. Spending some time each day drawing (you might notice improvement,)
3. Stop being immobilized by your depression (if you can't do it yourself, seek professional help, use trial and error in order to find the right meds for you.)
4. During the winter, make an extra effort to get some sunshine, if possible,
5. Try to exercise as often as possible,
6. If you feel things you have tried in the past don't work, try different things, like meditation, massage, acupuncture, sky diving, or something you always wanted to do but just never got around to it. Ballet, trapeze, acting, wrestling, volunteer work; the more things you do, the less time you'll have being depressed. If you ever think that you may physically hurt yourself, check into a hospital immediately. It may save your life, and nobody else needs to know about it.