Things are different between us did I go to far when I told him I was into him? Is our friendship over? Any advice?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    I'm a young male who told a fellow co-worker and friend that I was attracted to him around two weeks two ago. He told me he was straight and that we were cool but don't do anything weird. Now we don't really joke around with each other any more like we use to and when we do speak its seems like he doesn't wanna hold a long conversation with me. I text him like two times but he doesn't respond to my text any more either. I really still wanna be his friend but I don't know if things will improve. What do you guys think should I have said anything? Whats going in his head right now? Is our friendship over or should I just give him space? Maybe he doesn't trust me I don't know I feel like I might of lost a good friend.
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    Dec 14, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    Things are different maybe we both are
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    Dec 14, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    When you were honest and open and the best a good friend is you told him about something big, for you, and so now the ball's in his court. What he does or doesn't do is no reflection on you, you know. They're his issues. Many straight guys are just fine with this, but a lot more aren't.

    Consider that he may reacting in the same way he would if a girl who was a friend said she was attracted to him, but to him she'd always been just a friend and nothing more. So he distances for awhile. Let him. This is his thing now.

    -Doug
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    Dec 14, 2010 7:16 AM GMT
    It has been my experience that it goes much better when you have developed a close friendship and been friends for a while.....9 times out of 10 they have told me that they already knew and that it was all good. However one time, it took his girlfriend to tell him that I " had a thing" for him icon_redface.gif
  • AlanGZ

    Posts: 385

    Dec 14, 2010 7:36 AM GMT
    Just let him time to cope with the news....
    It might not be the gay part the hardest for him but more the "i am into you" thing...
    It's natural, when the feelings are not share, for the other people to distance a while.... just be patient and you will see how it goes but for sure its not by pressuring him that u will make him feel comfortable.

    Alan
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    Dec 14, 2010 8:10 AM GMT
    You should speak to him and toll him how you feel, ask him how he feels, and if he needs some space, tell him that you are wiling to respect his decisions. Consider inviting him for lunch while at work and then you toll him how much your care about keeping his friendship. However, you might want to consider how he feels about homosexuality. In other words, did he knew that you were gay before? If not you should take that into consideration.
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    Dec 14, 2010 8:32 AM GMT
    This makes me think of this...hahaha




    and this...



    hahahaha

    You made a mistake by not keeping your mouth shut!!! From my own experience, crushes never work. That's why they are called crushes, because it's one sided. Get it?? yeah, once in a million years, he might have the same feelings for you (maybe in Taylor Swift "you belong to me" world") but usually, the smart ones wait and see before they blurt out their feelings towards somebody. Only the dumb ones laid out their cards on the table. Trust me, I learned from experience.

    Now, you have perpetuated the streotype that gay guys are always into straight guys and make another straight guy feel awkward around a gay guy. Great! What's worse is that you work together. It's going to be so awkward. I suggest you start looking for another job or prepared to give you "this is guy is so weird" look for a couple of months if forever. He'll probably tell about you behind your back to other co-workers..."Hey, this guy has confessed his feelings to me"

    You can't go back to the way things were because you have already changed the game. YOU changed it because you confessed his love to him. It's not the same any more. Stupid! (Sorry for being so blunt and honest). I hope that you appreciate my honesty. How do you like to taste your own medicine!?

    "Should I give him space?" Excuse me, are you stupid? he's not your boyfriend. You are not in a relationship with him. Wake up!

    Texting him after you have confessed his attraction to him and after he honestly telling you that he's straight and told you NOT to do anything weird. If you continue to text him, it can be unwanted sexual harrasment, you know??

    Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    so what do you think?
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    Dec 15, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    I think he wants to keep his distance from you, and you need to respect that. Stop texting him and talking to him. You have clearly overstepped your boundries.
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    Dec 15, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    I went through the same thing except for my guy never said he was straight he only denied telling me he was gay when he said it in my own house. In any event, I told him how I felt... And he copped out and left me hanging... I put the ball in his court and now things are different... I guess that is what is to be expected... He initiated a'lot of the actions that prompted me to develop something form him and in the end he fucking flaked... We haven't even talked about being friends again, which makes me wonder if my friendship was even worth something to begin with... Boys >.<
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    fonzz saidYou should speak to him and toll him how you feel, ask him how he feels, and if he needs some space, tell him that you are wiling to respect his decisions. Consider inviting him for lunch while at work and then you toll him how much your care about keeping his friendship. However, you might want to consider how he feels about homosexuality. In other words, did he knew that you were gay before? If not you should take that into consideration.


    So you are advocating that he harrass the poor dude even more. Great advice. LOL
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    Dec 15, 2010 1:26 AM GMT
    Move on and let him go.