Looking for a Sexless Relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 14, 2010 7:47 PM GMT
    Hi I have some questions.
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:17 AM GMT
    navi_leinad saidUsually its a bad idea on the first date to jump into bed cause that shows he wants you just for sex or vice versa. I know of a few people who don't like having anal and one person who doesn't like oral or anal. The thing is instead of going online for a guy maybe you should try doing the whole real life dating thing. Since certain websites are more geared to having sexual relations over dating (manhunt, a4a, etc.).
    Based on your profile I say all you need is confidence and well change yourself if you really don't like yourself.


    Thanks for the input man.

    Going online is just easier to me. I don't think it was because of the source I found my dates though. My dates are mostly relationship type although they are on the hookup or dating sites.

    Sure I wish I was a normal gay guy could enjoy sex. Being normal would make life easier... But I don't know how....
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    So...you don't like sex...at all?! Is it just men or do you feel the same way about women? Have you only done things with nasty men with poor hygiene? Sorry I am just curious cause its...well...sex. And you don't like it!
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    in other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:34 AM GMT
    This is even a profile check-box on many hetero-dating sites. "Must Not Want Sex." All the women have that box checked, by the way.
    (No wonder there are so many guys to play with.)
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    KSUOWL saidSo...you don't like sex...at all?! Is it just men or do you feel the same way about women? Have you only done things with nasty men with poor hygiene? Sorry I am just curious cause its...well...sex. And you don't like it!



    I am 100% gay. No I don't like anal sex at all. I generally don't like cocks but I would enjoy sucking if I was really into that guy. But only found one such guy so far.
    I do like kissing and body touch with a good-looking guy though. This is one of the reasons that I jumped into bed with my dates pretty quickly. But they usually want more than just a foreplay and sleeping together. what can I do.....

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    Dec 15, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidThis is even a profile check-box on many hetero-dating sites. "Must Not Want Sex." All the women have that box checked, by the way.
    (No wonder there are so many guys to play with.)


    oh really. I wish I was a woman then, lol
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:42 AM GMT
    Oh ok well that makes more sense. Nothing wrong with not wanting sex unless its someone you really like or are attracted to. Personally, I am choosing not to jump in bed with anyone unless I like them, but then again I often want to break that rule...icon_lol.gif

    You can have a healthy sexual relationship without going all the way. But, just to ask and sorry if this is crude, have you tried being both a top and bottom? Maybe you don't like getting it (cause a lot of guys don't), but you could like giving it...
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    Dec 15, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    tereseus1 saidin other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.


    Also to KSUOWL:
    I have tried to do bottom 3 times. All with the guys that I was really into. I felt like to poop when I did it.
    Never feel wanna be a top. Anus is nasty and unsexy. I am wondering why people like to put any part of their body in there.

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    Dec 15, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    iLikeDC said
    tereseus1 saidin other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.


    Also to KSUOWL:
    I have tried to do bottom 3 times. All with the guys that I was really into. I felt like to poop when I did it.
    Never feel wanna be a top. Anus is nasty and unsexy. I am wondering why people like to put any part of their body in there.



    lies....booty is the best creation ever...
  • mattie1010101

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    Dec 15, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    MAYBE YOUR A-SEXUAL.....
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    Dec 15, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    iLikeDC said
    tereseus1 saidin other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.


    Also to KSUOWL:
    I have tried to do bottom 3 times. All with the guys that I was really into. I felt like to poop when I did it.
    Never feel wanna be a top. Anus is nasty and unsexy. I am wondering why people like to put any part of their body in there.



    Sounds to me like you kind of have a mental block to the whole thing. You need to let yourself get into it some and maybe you will enjoy it more? No idea bud
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    Dec 15, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    iLikeDC said
    tereseus1 saidin other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.


    Also to KSUOWL:
    I have tried to do bottom 3 times. All with the guys that I was really into. I felt like to poop when I did it.
    Never feel wanna be a top. Anus is nasty and unsexy. I am wondering why people like to put any part of their body in there.



    Sounds to me like you kind of have a mental block to the whole thing. You need to let yourself get into it some and maybe you will enjoy it more? No idea bud


    a mental block? You know you could be right...to the original poster do you jerk off to porn allot?
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    Dec 15, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    You're just looking for a really good friend.
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    Dec 15, 2010 6:17 AM GMT
    I don't know that I agree with the suggestion that you avoid sites like Manhunt, Adam4Adam, etc., precisely because their emphasis on the nitty-gritty details of hooking-up and the high volume of users could be exactly what you need. Using the filters wisely allows you to indicate your sexual preferences right up front without being awkward, allowing you to greatly narrow the field and save you and your love-interests the trouble.

    Some guys aren't into oral, some aren't into anal, some aren't into either (especially on the first date!). It's not all that odd, but it's not common if you were wondering. Like a previous poster mentioned, you may be romantically but not sexually interested in guys (asexuality). There are some great resources for that online, but if that's the case, you probably already know it. And when it comes to sex, hygiene is important and can be a major issue if you have some negative experiences. And a lot of guys don't like anal sex or even so much as the idea of it...until it's done right (trust me, there's a reason it's so popular.) ;-) It's the kind of thing best practiced and explored in the company of a trusted, long-term companion, though--not the kind of thing that will grow on you through the occasional fling. Regardless, there are guys out there that are right for you, mate--I wouldn't sweat it! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 16, 2010 5:58 AM GMT
    KSUOWL said
    iLikeDC said
    tereseus1 saidin other words you need to date a guy 90 years of age and above..lol?
    Is this the first time you tried having sex? maybe you need to try it with someone else...someone you feel a connection with..maybe your the type that wont have sex unless you have a connection with the guy.


    Also to KSUOWL:
    I have tried to do bottom 3 times. All with the guys that I was really into. I felt like to poop when I did it.
    Never feel wanna be a top. Anus is nasty and unsexy. I am wondering why people like to put any part of their body in there.



    Sounds to me like you kind of have a mental block to the whole thing. You need to let yourself get into it some and maybe you will enjoy it more? No idea bud


    You are probably right about the mental block. Tell me in words why anus is so sexy.

    I do jerk off to porn but not because of the anal sex parts. It is like you watch straight porn and only pay attention to the guy. I used to watch a lot Japanese porno which generally have longer foreplay, lol.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:02 AM GMT
    DR2K saidYou're just looking for a really good friend.


    aww one of my ex-dates told me exactly the same. You make me feel sad bro.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:16 AM GMT
    Some guys are just wired for sex more and some less so than the average.

    I know I go through phases where I can't be bothered with the idea of sex for several months (even as a total top, since the prep time is less of a consideration for me than it can be for a bottom)... and it's not for the sake of being consumed in my work or whatever.

    Other times I can be as horny as a goat wanting to poke every nice meaty ass that might be pointing in my direction.

    Granted, I think that the truly asexual male is an outlier far from the bell curve of the average horny guy (note: no reference to sexual orientation).

    Good luck to you - there are more than a few low-to-no sex drive guys to be found, but I won't kid you and say that it would be easy: most people in a relationship (or not) tend to have some expectation of sex at a point where they are physically intimate with the other partner.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:18 AM GMT
    BoulderingBum saidI don't know that I agree with the suggestion that you avoid sites like Manhunt, Adam4Adam, etc., precisely because their emphasis on the nitty-gritty details of hooking-up and the high volume of users could be exactly what you need. Using the filters wisely allows you to indicate your sexual preferences right up front without being awkward, allowing you to greatly narrow the field and save you and your love-interests the trouble.

    Some guys aren't into oral, some aren't into anal, some aren't into either (especially on the first date!). It's not all that odd, but it's not common if you were wondering. Like a previous poster mentioned, you may be romantically but not sexually interested in guys (asexuality). There are some great resources for that online, but if that's the case, you probably already know it. And when it comes to sex, hygiene is important and can be a major issue if you have some negative experiences. And a lot of guys don't like anal sex or even so much as the idea of it...until it's done right (trust me, there's a reason it's so popular.) ;-) It's the kind of thing best practiced and explored in the company of a trusted, long-term companion, though--not the kind of thing that will grow on you through the occasional fling. Regardless, there are guys out there that are right for you, mate--I wouldn't sweat it! icon_biggrin.gif


    Yea I use the filter. It is the best part on hookup sites. helps me filter out those "I had sex with my ex 3 times a week." But it is depressing that only a few guys left and I missed all other beautiful people.

    I may try to do anal sex again some time later.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:21 AM GMT
    iLikeDCI am an ugly, dramatic and out of shape bad ass.
    "You've been a very, very, very bad girl, Gaga."


    maybe that's why...from your profile by the way...and really...why are we even discussing this. He knows the underlying issues, he just wants an excuse or sympathy...but he knows...
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:31 AM GMT
    alphatrigger saidSome guys are just wired for sex more and some less so than the average.

    I know I go through phases where I can't be bothered with the idea of sex for several months (even as a total top, since the prep time is less of a consideration for me than it can be for a bottom)... and it's not for the sake of being consumed in my work or whatever.

    Other times I can be as horny as a goat wanting to poke every nice meaty ass that might be pointing in my direction.

    Granted, I think that the truly asexual male is an outlier far from the bell curve of the average horny guy (note: no reference to sexual orientation).

    Good luck to you - there are more than a few low-to-no sex drive guys to be found, but I won't kid you and say that it would be easy: most people in a relationship (or not) tend to have some expectation of sex at a point where they are physically intimate with the other partner.


    I am not asexual or something. I do have sex drive but just want to express and relieve it in some different ways. I went to gay clubs and simply made out with guys when I felt horny.

    I am wondering if there is anyone who didn't like anal sex before but now enjoy it.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:34 AM GMT
    iLikeDC said

    So I hate this to happen again. What do you suggest me to change that? Can I find a sexless relationship, or is annul sex learnable?

    Sorry if any grammar mistakes. ESL here.


    I think you could grow to like anal sex. My first long term relationship was with a guy who just LOVES anal sex and I wasn't really into the idea when we first started dating, because it really hurts having his dick up my butt.

    We are no longer together now, but after 6 years of being together, I have to say that eventually I grew to like it. It was because anal sex was an activity where I could feel intimate with him. It was emotionally satisfying, and eventually became physically satisfying too.

    So there is hope yet. I think you can grow or learn to like anal sex.
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:36 AM GMT
    insanesanity6 said
    iLikeDCI am an ugly, dramatic and out of shape bad ass.
    "You've been a very, very, very bad girl, Gaga."


    maybe that's why...from your profile by the way...and really...why are we even discussing this. He knows the underlying issues, he just wants an excuse or sympathy...but he knows...


    Not sure what you mean. But I was joking in my profile. I am not really ugly, dramatic and out of shape. Just tired of talking about how awesome I am like other profiles. A bad joke maybe?
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:41 AM GMT
    microbiologist said
    iLikeDC said

    So I hate this to happen again. What do you suggest me to change that? Can I find a sexless relationship, or is annul sex learnable?

    Sorry if any grammar mistakes. ESL here.


    I think you could grow to like anal sex. My first long term relationship was with a guy who just LOVES anal sex and I wasn't really into the idea when we first started dating, because it really hurts having his dick up my butt.

    We are no longer together now, but after 6 years of being together, I have to say that eventually I grew to like it. It was because anal sex was an activity where I could feel intimate with him. It was emotionally satisfying, and eventually became physically satisfying too.

    So there is hope yet. I think you can grow or learn to like anal sex.


    Oh really that is a positive news.
    I didn't feel hurt too much though but very uncomfortable. I felt like to poop.
    So how long does it take for you to get used to it?
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    Dec 16, 2010 6:57 AM GMT
    iLikeDC said
    microbiologist said
    iLikeDC said

    So I hate this to happen again. What do you suggest me to change that? Can I find a sexless relationship, or is annul sex learnable?

    Sorry if any grammar mistakes. ESL here.


    I think you could grow to like anal sex. My first long term relationship was with a guy who just LOVES anal sex and I wasn't really into the idea when we first started dating, because it really hurts having his dick up my butt.

    We are no longer together now, but after 6 years of being together, I have to say that eventually I grew to like it. It was because anal sex was an activity where I could feel intimate with him. It was emotionally satisfying, and eventually became physically satisfying too.

    So there is hope yet. I think you can grow or learn to like anal sex.


    Oh really that is a positive news.
    I didn't feel hurt too much though but very uncomfortable. I felt like to poop.
    So how long does it take for you to get used to it?


    It took me probably about half a year to get "comfortable" with it. To "enjoy" it, I think it took me something like 3 or 4 years.

    I would have considered myself to be a top before I met him. After being with him for that long, and finally have learned how to enjoy anal sex as a bottom, I now consider myself versatile.