Shit Talking and Sarcasm = Problem?

  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 4:12 AM GMT
    So I can be a bit sarcastic at times and at times talk a lot shit, but it's all for fun and games. But I've noticed that when I've made sarcastic remarks or I talk a little shit to certain guys that I've met or think is cute they get offended. I would hope that they'd have a backbone and comeback with trash talkin too. Clearly, I'm wrong. I like a guy that I can joke around with and we can talk shit to each other.

    How do you feel when a guy you meet starts talking shit and is sarcastic?
    Are you sensitive to their remarks or do you start talking shit back?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    20 y.o. , fuck.
    I was thinking 16 tops.


    just throwin some shit your way

    your turn.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 4:31 AM GMT
    16 ? really?! i usually get 12 years old! c'mon! do i look that old!?
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Dec 15, 2010 4:34 AM GMT
    I find sarcasm funny actually, i'd come back at you with some.....People should be able to tell when someones just being funny, but i was told off by someone who didnt care for my wit either.... His buddy came over and told me that his friend is kind of down because he lost his job, i went over right away and apologized.....Were living in a strange uncertain time where people are out of work and hammered with all kinds of burdens, we must also know when to cut the crap........
    He and i are cool now, we hung out the other night and laughed our asses off at a drag show........
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    Dec 15, 2010 4:41 AM GMT
    Yea, I've noticed that gay men are a lot more easily offended. No one likes to be put down, but I think a lot of us have already had our share of bullying. I can take a joke or putdown...mostly because I don't take myself that seriously and if someone is taking a genuine jab at me, then laughing at them and not giving a crap about what they say is the best revenge.

    You just have to learn how to read people...chances are if they're not messing around with others, or humoring that kind of behavior, they don't want to be messed with.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 4:45 AM GMT
    jgymnast733 saidI find sarcasm funny actually, i'd come back at you with some.....People should be able to tell when someones just being funny, but i was told off by someone who didnt care for my wit either.... His buddy came over and told me that his friend is kind of down because he lost his job, i went over right away and apologized.....Were living in a strange uncertain time where people are out of work and hammered with all kinds of burdens, we must also know when to cut the crap........
    He and i are cool now, we hung out the other night and laughed our asses off at a drag show........


    Yeah I understand. But at a time like this, why not laugh the stress away? I just find it funny that when a guy doesn't laugh or doesnt have a comeback there's that awkward silence and I'm like "Uhhh...yeah so how about that weather out there, woo!" or I walk away. haha.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 4:50 AM GMT
    Runninchlt saidYea, I've noticed that gay men are a lot more easily offended. No one likes to be put down, but I think a lot of us have already had our share of bullying. I can take a joke or putdown...mostly because I don't take myself that seriously and if someone is taking a genuine jab at me, then laughing at them and not giving a crap about what they say is the best revenge.

    You just have to learn how to read people...chances are if they're not messing around with others, or humoring that kind of behavior, they don't want to be messed with.


    Yes, very true (in bold). I guess the humorous part of my personality isn't fit for everybody. :/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2010 5:14 AM GMT
    kennyj08 said16 ? really?! i usually get 12 years old! c'mon! do i look that old!?



    No, no older than any other short bus riders








  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 5:33 AM GMT
    beneful1 said
    kennyj08 said16 ? really?! i usually get 12 years old! c'mon! do i look that old!?



    No, no older than any other short bus riders










    I think you're missing something from your bike...OH, I KNOW! TRAINING WHEELS. your not ready to ride with the big boys icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 15, 2010 5:48 AM GMT
    kennyj08 said
    beneful1 said
    kennyj08 said16 ? really?! i usually get 12 years old! c'mon! do i look that old!?



    No, no older than any other short bus riders










    I think you're missing something from your bike...OH, I KNOW! TRAINING WHEELS. your not ready to ride with the big boys icon_smile.gif


    I dunno.. I think that was a little subpar. I'll give you another chance so try for something with real zing to it. Take your time, people are watching and they expect their moneys worth.
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    Dec 15, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    kennyj08 saidSo I can be a bit sarcastic at times and at times talk a lot shit, but it's all for fun and games. But I've noticed that when I've made sarcastic remarks or I talk a little shit to certain guys that I've met or think is cute they get offended. I would hope that they'd have a backbone and comeback with trash talkin too. Clearly, I'm wrong. I like a guy that I can joke around with and we can talk shit to each other.

    How do you feel when a guy you meet starts talking shit and is sarcastic?
    Are you sensitive to their remarks or do you start talking shit back?


    Are you sure it's offended and not disinterested? How much of what you say is romantic or leading that way?

    -Doug
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    Dec 15, 2010 6:08 AM GMT
    The guy I just went out on a date with used sarcasm on me all throughout the date. So when I came back with a good one he'd be all impressed. Hahaha.
    I find the quality endearing on some, but sometimes overbearing and can cloud up what you should really say instead of that filler.
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 5:21 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    kennyj08 saidSo I can be a bit sarcastic at times and at times talk a lot shit, but it's all for fun and games. But I've noticed that when I've made sarcastic remarks or I talk a little shit to certain guys that I've met or think is cute they get offended. I would hope that they'd have a backbone and comeback with trash talkin too. Clearly, I'm wrong. I like a guy that I can joke around with and we can talk shit to each other.

    How do you feel when a guy you meet starts talking shit and is sarcastic?
    Are you sensitive to their remarks or do you start talking shit back?


    Are you sure it's offended and not disinterested? How much of what you say is romantic or leading that way?

    -Doug


    It's actually both. They get offended and then there's the disinterest. At least to my observations

    And

    If I joke around it's never romantically, it's to really just tease a little bit. Very harmless. It usually happens when we're just talking and he says/does something I find amusing and I make a sarcastic remark. Do I intentionally want to offend them? No, but if your offended at least be a man to let someone know that you had your feelings hurt or something
    Am I wrong?
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 15, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    beneful1 said
    kennyj08 said
    beneful1 said
    kennyj08 said16 ? really?! i usually get 12 years old! c'mon! do i look that old!?



    No, no older than any other short bus riders










    I think you're missing something from your bike...OH, I KNOW! TRAINING WHEELS. your not ready to ride with the big boys icon_smile.gif


    I dunno.. I think that was a little subpar. I'll give you another chance so try for something with real zing to it. Take your time, people are watching and they expect their moneys worth.


    People are paying to see me? How lovely! I'll give them a show they'll never forget.I hope you can make it but guess what? the show just sold out! Guess you won't be attending this "second chance" show..Tsk Tsk
  • Import

    Posts: 7193

    Dec 17, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    Some ppl look at shit Talkers as "negative nancys" or "haters" ...

    I enjoy sarcasm, however too much of it is not cute. The constant shit talking gets old and it can make the person seem like a real downer all the time...
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Dec 17, 2010 5:37 PM GMT
    icon_eek.gif


    I'd rather have Bello back.. see what you ass holes did! icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:59 PM GMT
    kennyj08 hahaha I do the same.

    Well not really talking shit, but I do have a random sarcasm, although usually I find I can return one just the same.
    I do agree though that a whole conversation on that will definitely seem like a downer.

    Actually if I think of a real good one, I direct it at myself so that the person can enjoy the joke and not worry about offense since you said it about yourself.
    Though doing that too much becomes misconstrued as poor self esteem.

    I think it's an important quality to be able to laugh at yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 6:09 PM GMT
    Nothing wrong with sarcasm or talking shit but as a good rule of thumb you should know your audience first and get a feel for them before indulging in such a manner. Moderation, self control and just knowing what to say, how to say it, who to say it to and when/where to say it.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Dec 17, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    You're all ugly.

    Fat asses.

    icon_cool.gif

    And you smell.
  • tajsreve

    Posts: 418

    Dec 17, 2010 6:13 PM GMT
    I think that sacrasm is not a problem... I think I am going to answer this post because this brought me to remember a time when I was working with a young gay guy who would use sarcasm in the same way. The point was that some people really liked his sarcasm and I was always offened by it. I was never able to tell him why, because I never liked him because of it. The point was that I don't have a problem with sarcasm. The problem I had was when he used it and how. Whenever there was alot of stress at work he would use it. There would be times that the sarcasm was just hateful and caustic. . Timing is everything... especially in jokes.
    That was my reasoning... I don't know your situation at work.
    I found this article I thought was interesting.

    The seven types of sarcasm
    A Lesson by Mike Lamb

    You know what's not funny? Generic sarcasm. Constantly saying "Yeah right" and "Oh great" doesn't make you witty. It makes you annoying.


    Everyone thinks they can be a smart ass. Well you know what? It's a fucking art. So if you want to use sarcasm you'd better learn to wield it like a goddamn straight razor if you want it to make an impact. I've made a list of what I consider to be the seven types of sarcasm based on mood and tone of voice. I don't know if anyone else has ever broken it down into categories. Probably. Look it up if you want. Anyway...

    1. Self-deprecating sarcasm: sarcasm that plays off of an exaggerated sense of worthlessness and inferiority. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to work overtime this weekend." "Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I was gonna get married this weekend but, you know, it's not a big deal, I'll just skip it. She would've left me anyway."

    2. Brooding sarcasm: the speaker says something polite and/or subserviant in a bitter/irritated tone. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to work overtime this weekend." "Looking forward to it. I live to serve."

    3. Deadpan sarcasm: said without laughter or emotion, so that it's hard to tell whether or not the speaker is joking with and/or mocking the other person. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, gonna need you to work overtime this weekend." "Can't make it. Got a cult meeting. It's my turn to kill the goat."

    4. Polite sarcasm: subtle, but just a little too nice. This is a kind of sarcasm that sounds genuine at first, but then it slowly dawns on the listener that the speaker was just screwing with him. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to work overtime this weekend." "Ooh, fun! I'll bring the ice cream!"

    5. Obnoxious sarcasm: the kind of sarcasm that makes people want to punch you in the face. It's not really funny or clever, but it gets under your skin. It's usually spoken in a bitchy/whiney tone of voice. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, gonna need you to work overtime." "Oh, well that's just fucking great. Just what I wanted to do this weekend. Awesome."

    6. Manic sarcasm: so unnaturally happy that it's borderline crazy. EXAMPLE: "Hey Bob, I'm gonna need you to work overtime." "God, you are the best boss EVER! Have I ever told you how much I love this job? I wish I could live here! Somebody get me a tent, I never wanna leave!"

    7. Raging sarcasm: sarcasm that relies heavily on hyperbole and threats of violence. This is the kind of psychotic screaming rant that you unleash on someone when you're about three steps away from murdering them and you need to vent your rage verbally before doing something horrible involving sharp knives. EXAMPLE: "Bob. Overtime." "Oh, don't worry! I'll be there! Want me to shine your fucking shoes while I'm at it?! Hell, I'll come to your house tonight and wash your goddamn Ferrari! Actually, you know what? Forget it. I'm just gonna go home and blow my brains out."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 7:28 PM GMT
    My initial advice: Find guys with thicker skin that can handle your sarcasm, understand your sense of humor and even better be just as quick to dish it back at you.

    Some things to take into consideration from experience, though, is that sarcasm can easily be misinterpreted. Without proper delivery, people may find it hard to tell if you are serious or just joking, especially if they don't know you very well yet.

    And then you may find that a guy may be ok with it, until he starts to care about you more and then he'll simply get annoyed because he finds it somewhat dishonest.

    Like for example my thing is debating. I love debating with guys that I like. It doesn't matter about what, it could be about something as simply as which burger joint is better than another, I just get off from it. Its the virgo in me.

    But there was a bi guy I use to hang out with that loved to debate with me about everything until he started to care about me and suddenly whenever I started a debate with him or poked fun at him he'd just get really annoyed, or sometimes his feelings would even get hurt. And thats when I knew I needed to tone it down a bit.

    but to answer your question I talk shit back.
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Dec 17, 2010 7:32 PM GMT
    Not everybody appricates shit talking and sarcasm right away - which is a shame, but it happens. I wait until I know a person, and they know my sense of humor before I talk shit or be sarcastic with them. The same with using non American Standard English with people. Build up a rapport with them, and don't asume they know every reference you're using.
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Dec 17, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    I'm all for sarcasm and do it all the time around ppl that know me well. It seems very unclassy to do that kind of thing to ppl you just met. In the very least it would turn a date off or at the very most it would get your ass beaten child!!
    icon_cool.gif
  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 18, 2010 4:26 AM GMT
    I can see where you guys are coming from and I guess I kind of do it to break the ice but yeah maybe I'll just save it for someone I know will handle it. And to halfstep I love to debate too haha. I totally get how you feel when you debate. I think it's pretty exciting.

  • kennyj08

    Posts: 171

    Dec 18, 2010 4:32 AM GMT
    Vaughn saidYou're all ugly.

    Fat asses.

    icon_cool.gif

    And you smell.


    You're so thoughtful icon_smile.gif