Just outed at work.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 1:33 AM GMT
    I have been out to my friends and families for a few years. However, I try to keep my personal life private at work. It changed today. One of my business partners was using my laptop to check on restaurants and started typing "www.re" and what did appear :Gay Men, chat, Forumns, Realjock.com.

    He was silent. Oh well. Now he knows.
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    Dec 17, 2010 1:38 AM GMT
    Hmm. You'e right though, oh well. Will be interesting to see if he acts any differently toward you now.

    Hopefully not. You're co-workers, it's not like you want to date him.

    Is he hot? icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 1:47 AM GMT
    How do you know he found anything about YOU from those few strokes? Did he ask you, Did you volunteer information?...Were you watching him as he was typing into your computer?....doesn't really sound like you were "outed", sounds like he stumbled across your browser doing an "auto search" algorithm.and was quiet out of his own personal embarrassment.....unless he said something or you reacted somehow....he got nothing on you.....relax!icon_cool.gif...if he did get something...so what? will he drop you and the business?
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    Clean the cache or the info history storage that gets brought down from a search engine etc... as you or someone using ur pc by a self cleaning program, such as: Ccleaner

    its crap-cleaner, its free, and will take care of this for you...within the frame work of preference on privacy-settings you want....icon_wink.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    singleagain saidI have been out to my friends and families for a few years. However, I try to keep my personal life private at work. It changed today. One of my business partners was using my laptop to check on restaurants and started typing "www.re" and what did appear :Gay Men, chat, Forumns, Realjock.com.

    He was silent. Oh well. Now he knows.


    I would have been a bit embarrassed! My friends know I'm gay but I still delete my internet history out of habit because of all the porn lol.

    Well, at least you didn't have to tell him lol.
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    Well it's nothing you should have to worry about. I think you'll be fine in this situation.

    If you don't want to come out to co-workers then that's your business since your personal life should never have any effect on your business life. For all your co-worker knows maybe someone else used your computer before him. It's pretty practical since this co-worker is also using your computer.

    The fact that it's your computer is also another issue. What he saw on it is none of his business and it's not like he saw a nude picture or something x-rated. Just a website address. Nothing wrong with that. If he chooses to act unprofessional with this newly found info, which really doesn't confirm or deny your sexual status, then that's when I would worry otherwise it's purely accidental and not something you should obsess about.

    Best of luck and again I think you'll be fine.
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:36 AM GMT
    Well better Realjock than Manhunt or a porn site! Ha ha. I'm sure it won't make a big difference as long as you don't let it. You could've even said you just log on for the workout tips and stuff.
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    I got outed at work, too, and it spread like wildfire. 10 minutes later, there was something else to gossip about.

    It's really not that bad icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    I never use my computer at work to log on to any site I visit for personal reasons. It's just better that way. I do all that at home. No issues.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 17, 2010 3:12 AM GMT
    Just tell him you go here for workout tips if he asks.
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    Dec 17, 2010 3:15 AM GMT
    RSportsguy saidJust tell him you go here for workout tips if he asks.


    Why the fuck would he lie?
    I doubt the OP is a coward.
  • ShanksE

    Posts: 263

    Dec 17, 2010 3:55 AM GMT
    singleagain saidI have been out to my friends and families for a few years. However, I try to keep my personal life private at work. It changed today. One of my business partners was using my laptop to check on restaurants and started typing "www.re" and what did appear :Gay Men, chat, Forumns, Realjock.com.

    He was silent. Oh well. Now he knows.


    Your friend was discreet. Mine were more abrupt. On a trip back from one of annual "departmental picnic"s, one of them asked me abruptly, "So do you like boys?" and this was in the middle of some random conversation!
    It took me a while to register and I said, "Well, men, not boys."
    It kinda shut him up, and I didn't care much after that!

    I wanted to keep my private life private, but that doesnt mean I was going to try and live a lie! So don't worry, OP it's no big deal. Plus if he is cute and into you, maybe this was a good thing. :p
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 3:57 AM GMT
    OP, if the person brings it up, unless he/she is a friend, do not even respond if you don't want to since it's none of their business to begin with.
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Dec 17, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    TKDCadet saidI got outed at work, too, and it spread like wildfire. 10 minutes later, there was something else to gossip about.

    It's really not that bad icon_smile.gif


    I always out myself. I wait for someone to say they like gay people then they're it. That way you control how it's viewed and who talks about it easier.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    Clear cache and history! lol
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Dec 17, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    I feel your professionalism is still intact...Continue to do your job and fuck anyone that questions your private life....BUD
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    Well so as long he hasn't made a big deal out of it and doesn't disrupt your profession.

    Now after learning a lesson quite sometime back about browser history and all things related, I've kept my both my personal and work laptops to automatically remove all info every time I close the browser.

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    Dec 17, 2010 4:09 AM GMT
    Hey if you don't want him to go around telling everyone, talk to him seriously that you don't want the others to know your personal business. I think he will respect that. Unless you don't care that they find out, of course.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:10 AM GMT
    You were in the closet? icon_eek.gif

    Any-who.... He's up for MotD- so vote away! icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:15 AM GMT
    mybud saidI feel your professionalism is still intact...Continue to do your job and fuck anyone that questions your private life....BUD
    ...only if they're hot. icon_razz.gif
    On a more serious note, think of it as "accidentally" breaking free of your chains. As long as you're the bigger man about it, they'll eventually get over it...although be ready for some light teasing here and there...that part's inevitable.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:17 AM GMT
    This is why I love Firefox. You can setup separate profiles.. one for gay stuff and one for non-gay stuff. Keeps your bookmarks, history, cache, cookies, all separate. That way if somebody tries to use your computer while you're not around, they won't see all the stuff you want to keep private.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:56 AM GMT
    The wonders of private browsing. I am using it now, in fact.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    I've had that come up while projecting my screen to a room full of clients and partners. Luckily I type fast so when I see the autotype starting to fill in, I just type faster until I get past RJ. I'm pretty out so most people know but it's still funny to have it come up with "GAY MEN, CHAT, FORUMS, DATING, PERSONALS". Always makes me chuckle.

    I went through another meeting with "gay" in my "search text field" in the bottom of the browser because I had been on some local city guide and was looking for gay bars. Nobody mentioned it. My iphone is worse. I had somebody grab my phone the other day and realized that it had Grinder running and some other things that I'd prefer not to share.

    Our tech is getting pretty personal!

    I've tried setting up a "display only" user account on my laptop but then I can't see all the files I'm sharing on the projectors so I now go through and turn stuff off and quit apps and close "Growl" (so that instant messages aren't popping up on the screen."

    Funny.

    To the OP, if it's your business partner and they don't already know, it was about time. Business partners are closer than spouses (at least they are in my world.) Although having said that, I worked with mine for months before I outed myself accidentally by making some oblique comment.
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Dec 17, 2010 5:11 AM GMT
    singleagain saidI have been out to my friends and families for a few years. However, I try to keep my personal life private at work. It changed today. One of my business partners was using my laptop to check on restaurants and started typing "www.re" and what did appear :Gay Men, chat, Forumns, Realjock.com.

    He was silent. Oh well. Now he knows.



    Things might turn out okay. You should talk to your coworker about what happened and reassure that person that nothing is really changed. It was just a discovery. Your coworker may never have known a gay person and he might be somewhat curious about what it all means on a personal level.
  • TR_Latitude10

    Posts: 206

    Dec 17, 2010 5:23 AM GMT
    I made a post a few days ago about how I met my spouse at a conservative investment company some 18 years ago. Neither of us were "out" at work at the time.

    If the person that saw the website blabs to others, so be it. You will be the center of rumour for awhile. So be it. What matters is the value you bring to the table at the company you work for. Even 18 years ago, both me and my partner were regularly promoted because of the results we brought to the table.If you are not looking to promote to a "C-Level" position (CFO, COO, CIO, CEO) it seems no real harm could come of this.