Christmas Work Party of 2010- coming out

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    Dec 17, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    I've made mention here in Forums that I was thinking of taking my bf with me to the company party this year. We've been dating for about a year. Part of what convinced me to take him was the fact that it landed on his birthday. At first I said no, but when I found out the date (they only tell us 2 week before it), I decided to screw it all!

    I took my boyfriend to my company party...There were 1000 people in attendance. Was I scared? Not so much as the day approached, but the day of, I had terrible nerves. My team knows I'm gay, and they've been wanting to meet Dan for a while. We are 10 Project Managers that are a mix of 50% male and 50% female.

    The problem is I'm sort of in a great position at work as a Project Manager. People in the company (who have had to work with me) generally like me unless they try doing something stupid against my recommendations. Then I usually tell them off for not listening to me when shit hits the roof.

    My fear was that these people (who I generally don't get along with) would think less of me somehow. Not that I'm a lower class citizen, but give them another reason to hate me.

    I won't say I completely understood my train of thought. Maybe it was my fear of admitting to my professional side that I'm gay. My bf Dan helped me get over it. I soon realized that these people who knew me professionally, would see that I have nothing to hide. Most people would avoid the company party completely. But going with Dan was like making a statement, that I had no fear. And thus, they shouldn't think I'd ever back down from something.

    I sat with my group of friends who were co-ops with me a few years ago and now were full time employees. We are close even outside of work. Dan and I loosened up a bit after having some wine, and we were being approached by many co-workers who had heard I brought my boyfriend. Dan was the perfect guy, making jokes and captivating them with his charm. Everyone complimented me that he meshed well with my personality and we looked good together. We planned on dancing a lot, but only danced for like 10 minutes because people kept talking to us and buying us drinks!

    At the end of the night, I ran into someone I had competed along side with for Dragon boat for 2 years. He is in another building and I only met him twice since I was Captain of the Dragon Boat team. He introduced his date, who was this blonde European guy. I had a huge grin on my face as I introduced Dan as my date. (Dan later whispered to me, "I'm so much hotter than your coworker's boyfriend" LOL)

    It was by far the best company party I've ever attended in my 3 years there. Dan and I had so much more fun than we anticipated. And my VP approached us as he was leaving. He spoke with me for a moment about the party and a project. Then he introduced himself to Dan, since he didn't know who Dan was.

    When my VP left, Dan was like, "I wanted to get a picture with him!!!"

    Dan and I were invited to the after party of the "cool" people in the upper hotel floors with a huge suite. We were there until 1 AM drinking with all the people I worked closely with. SW and HW project managers, system designers, testers, etc. It was a BLAST. Hotel security closed down the party at 1 AM icon_razz.gif

    Dan later told me he wasn't too excited about going because he knew how company parties could be. He only went because I wanted to go. But after that night, we both agreed it was way more fun than we thought it would be.

    Has things changed for me at work? Yes they have! People who I enjoyed working with have invited Dan and I to things they host and I sort of feel like I'm more comfortable at work. No one has given me crap for it.

    I know this is super long, but I just felt like sharing. I'm really in a happy place right now icon_biggrin.gif

    That's my coming out to work story! Hope you enjoyed!
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:02 AM GMT
    Glad you were able to have such a good time.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:04 AM GMT
    awww I'm so glad things are working out for you Dennis! you deserve it! and btw folks Dennis was the first guy who first introduced me the gay village/ took me to a gay place when i was a total gay virgin 5 years ago LOL
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:05 AM GMT
    What a great story. Glad everything worked out so well for you. We need to hear these stories as they can provide some encouragement to those that are dealing with similar issues of whether or not to come out at work.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:11 AM GMT
    PrinceOfArya saidawww I'm so glad things are working out for you Dennis! you deserve it! and btw folks Dennis was the first guy who first introduced me the gay village/ took me to a gay place when i was a total gay virgin 5 years ago LOL


    LOL- thanks dude icon_biggrin.gif
    Those were good ol days icon_razz.gif

    Man- I was like...19/20!!! OMG, that's liek 5-6 years ago!!!! icon_eek.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    simple_collision said
    PrinceOfArya saidawww I'm so glad things are working out for you Dennis! you deserve it! and btw folks Dennis was the first guy who first introduced me the gay village/ took me to a gay place when i was a total gay virgin 5 years ago LOL


    LOL- thanks dude icon_biggrin.gif
    Those were good ol days icon_razz.gif

    Man- I was like...19/20!!! OMG, that's liek 5-6 years ago!!!! icon_eek.gif


    yeah i was 18-19 then .. I'm not even sure if i was out then, i just remember seeing so many gay people in one place all grinding and me thinking in my mind 'wow they're all going to hell' Lol
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    Dec 17, 2010 11:18 AM GMT
    Hahah I remember you getting in on that ;)
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    Dec 17, 2010 12:00 PM GMT
    Sounds like a blast. Well done!
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    Dec 17, 2010 12:53 PM GMT
    Glad you had a good time and felt comfortable. Sometimes we can be our worst enemies with the fears we have. Kudos for taking charge and your life back.
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    Dec 17, 2010 1:07 PM GMT
    Congratulations and a great story. I feel really fortunate that I work for a company with a very positive attitude toward it's GLBT employees. My boss is gay, and she forwarded a message about some technical issue and I noticed in a previous e-mail she included someone referred to her wife.

    I wish I could bring my partner to the holiday party, but our home office is too far away, plus he was working and couldn't come on this trip with me. At our holiday party we had a trivia contest with the different tables and one of the answers was Judy Garland, which I was got right for my team. Everyone started laughing and teasing me in a good way and we had a great time.

    I really love that I can talk about my life and my partner with my co-workers and don't have to hide anything.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Dec 17, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    Glad you shared ths story with us and glad you took the initiative to take your boyfriend to the party. Positive experiences such as yours will help others do the same. Unfortunately there workplaces (and celebrations) that
    are much more closed minded and would be difficult... just glad things are changing.

    I thought your discussion was interesting. One thing I did want to say....
    your co-workers gave you a great deal of respect at the party.... think about that the next time one of them "goes against your recommendations" and
    while things may (or may not) need to be straighted out, provide them with the patience and respect they have shown you. Makes for a better workplace doesn't it?
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    Dec 17, 2010 3:22 PM GMT
    PrinceOfArya said
    simple_collision said
    PrinceOfArya saidawww I'm so glad things are working out for you Dennis! you deserve it! and btw folks Dennis was the first guy who first introduced me the gay village/ took me to a gay place when i was a total gay virgin 5 years ago LOL


    LOL- thanks dude icon_biggrin.gif
    Those were good ol days icon_razz.gif

    Man- I was like...19/20!!! OMG, that's liek 5-6 years ago!!!! icon_eek.gif


    yeah i was 18-19 then .. I'm not even sure if i was out then, i just remember seeing so many gay people in one place all grinding and me thinking in my mind 'wow they're all going to hell' Lol


    That's a great story mate!

    And Nitin were that much of an innocent!! Hahahahaicon_lol.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Dec 17, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
    What a great story. I remember a company party years ago in which one of the employees brought his partner. They had a bit too much to drink and thought it would be "funny" to try to shock people. They were making out in the middle of the dance floor, bumping and grinding, basically being obnoxious to the point that it made others uncomfortable. His "outing" at the company party didn't end so well, and he was fired the next week. I don't think it had anything to do with him being gay, and everything to do with inappropriate behavior at the company Christmas party. My point is that the OP and his BF probably set a good example and therefor they were treated with respect. Gays that set bad examples simply don't get respect.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:46 PM GMT
    Awesome story.
    Thanks for sharing it.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:49 PM GMT
    Awesome experience for you! Marry that man!!! LOL
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Dec 17, 2010 5:58 PM GMT
    Hey simple_collis,
    This was a great story and a happy story. Thank's for sharing it with us. It made me smile. I am very happy everything turned out so well. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 9:24 PM GMT
    Fivealive said
    PrinceOfArya said
    simple_collision said
    PrinceOfArya saidawww I'm so glad things are working out for you Dennis! you deserve it! and btw folks Dennis was the first guy who first introduced me the gay village/ took me to a gay place when i was a total gay virgin 5 years ago LOL


    LOL- thanks dude icon_biggrin.gif
    Those were good ol days icon_razz.gif

    Man- I was like...19/20!!! OMG, that's liek 5-6 years ago!!!! icon_eek.gif


    yeah i was 18-19 then .. I'm not even sure if i was out then, i just remember seeing so many gay people in one place all grinding and me thinking in my mind 'wow they're all going to hell' Lol


    That's a great story mate!

    And Nitin were that much of an innocent!! Hahahahaicon_lol.gif


    Great Stories, the one from the OP and his virgin friend lol
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    Dec 17, 2010 9:28 PM GMT
    Hey congrats!! Like a coming-out party, eh? You show stealer you, and here they all thought they were going to a Christmas party. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Dec 17, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidGlad you shared ths story with us and glad you took the initiative to take your boyfriend to the party. Positive experiences such as yours will help others do the same. Unfortunately there workplaces (and celebrations) that
    are much more closed minded and would be difficult... just glad things are changing.

    I thought your discussion was interesting. One thing I did want to say....
    your co-workers gave you a great deal of respect at the party.... think about that the next time one of them "goes against your recommendations" and
    while things may (or may not) need to be straighted out, provide them with the patience and respect they have shown you. Makes for a better workplace doesn't it?


    icon_biggrin.gif I feel like I'm being lectured. Very true. You are right, and I have known for a long time that patience is needed on my part. Thanks for the feed back, I will work towards that goal as it is something I wish to change about myself.
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    Dec 21, 2010 10:16 AM GMT
    simple_collision said and I only met him twice since I was Captain of the Dragon Boat team. He introduced his date, who was this blonde European guy. I had a huge grin on my face as I introduced Dan as my date. (Dan later whispered to me, "I'm so much hotter than your coworker's boyfriend" LOL)


    Ugh you teenage girls you lol
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    Dec 21, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    Paxton saidGlad you had a good time and felt comfortable. Sometimes we can be our worst enemies with the fears we have. Kudos for taking charge and your life back.


    This!


    And thanks to the OP for sharing such a great story.