SO CONFUSED

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    Dec 17, 2010 7:25 AM GMT
    i really am tired of these failed relationship things, almost to the point where i would rather be single. i guess my first issue lies with being more attracted to white guys than other guys (but damn i cannot be the only one!) and i can't help that icon_sad.gif and i don't discriminate based on race either.

    i talked to this one guy for a couple of months and i thought things were going well...i mean we had sex multiple times (and it wasn't that oh lets f*ck crap)...like it was pretty passionate. first, he wasn't out as being gay/curious/bi or anything to anybody but me. after talking for a while he's like i can't do this and says he's straight. it was apparently because out guilty feelings...and clashing with what he wanted in the long run (a family, marriage, etc.)

    well friendship is still pretty awesome, but its so hard cause i keep looking back to what we had and i still really like him and want him as more than i friend. i mean i know i'll always be here for him no matter what, and i've told him that. i honestly would have given up a lot to make sure he's happy, definitely putting my feelings aside to make sure he gets what he wants. icon_sad.gif

    so...can somebody explain what exactly happened with that situation? i mean why is it so hard to find a guy, who's comfortable enough to talk to a guy. and its that much harder to find white guys interested in black guys when its not all about sex. i mean i like sex as much as any other guy but i do want to be with someone.

    im scared ill never find that guy because he's just not out there...maybe i need to lower my standards? or something IDK!!!

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    Dec 17, 2010 10:17 AM GMT
    brother, you're 20. That's not a put down, it's fact. You have barely lived life yet and you have a whole lotta living ahead of you.

    When it comes to affairs of the heart, no one said it was a fair game and that people don't get hurt. Listen to the sisters when they say, you can't hurry love, no you just have to wait, love don't come easy, it's a game of give and take..... relationships need a strong base and the best and strongest to start out on (that is the key, start out on) is a solid friendship.

    From that you can pretty much fly to any corner of the universe, cause everything else is secondary, including the sex. Dating, gay or straight is a learning experience, we fall on our asses, but we get up again and get back into the dance....that is how we grow and learn and learn to love,

    Never give up on love, cause it will never give up on you.....hang in there brother and stay strong.................Keith
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    Dec 17, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    Buddy you're still young and you will eventually find someone whom you can settle with...Trust me I'm 27 and I never been in relationship with a guy. But that doesn't make me give up hope.

    Hang in there....Besides don't go looking, cause when you don't look, someone will come along and make you see the light!icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    Fuck, Dude...you're 20...take a chill pill.
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Dec 17, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    Deciding to not date because past relationships failed isn't going to solve the problem. Being patient will.
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:02 PM GMT
    "so...can somebody explain what exactly happened with that situation?"

    Yes, I can. It's right here.

    "..like it was pretty passionate. first, he wasn't out as being gay/curious/bi or anything to anybody but me. after talking for a while he's like i can't do this and says he's straight. it was apparently because out guilty feelings...and clashing with what he wanted in the long run (a family, marriage, etc.)"

    He has issues.
    Your first inkling about them was this, "first, he wasn't out as being gay/curious/bi or anything to anybody but me"



    Next time go for someone who doesn't have these personal conflicts.

    -Doug
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    Dec 17, 2010 4:10 PM GMT
    If this guy is uninterested in having a relationship with you then so be it... Let him go because your 20, there's an even better guy around the corner waiting for you.... You don't have to lower your standards.
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    Dec 17, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    thanks guys icon_smile.gif i really appreciate the strong comments. i'll definitely keep this in mind. i guess i really haven't thought about how young i was lol. i guess ill live life a little and see what happens haha
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    Dec 17, 2010 6:49 PM GMT
    Yeah, you're 20 and you've already learned the danger of falling for the experimenting straight boy...right on schedule...Next: the needy older guy?
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    Dec 17, 2010 7:49 PM GMT
    meninlove said "so...can somebody explain what exactly happened with that situation?"

    Yes, I can. It's right here.

    "..like it was pretty passionate. first, he wasn't out as being gay/curious/bi or anything to anybody but me. after talking for a while he's like i can't do this and says he's straight. it was apparently because out guilty feelings...and clashing with what he wanted in the long run (a family, marriage, etc.)"

    He has issues.
    Your first inkling about them was this, "first, he wasn't out as being gay/curious/bi or anything to anybody but me"



    Next time go for someone who doesn't have these personal conflicts.

    -Doug


    I pre-block closet cases. Gay drama needs to stay in the theater.
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    Dec 17, 2010 8:04 PM GMT
    dustin_K_tx saidYeah, you're 20 and you've already learned the danger of falling for the experimenting straight boy...right on schedule...Next: the needy older guy?


    uh, scuse me??........................Keithicon_sad.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 8:23 PM GMT
    vetteset said
    dustin_K_tx saidYeah, you're 20 and you've already learned the danger of falling for the experimenting straight boy...right on schedule...Next: the needy older guy?


    uh, scuse me??........................Keithicon_sad.gif


    Don't confuse "horny" for "needy"; totally different things.icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 17, 2010 9:48 PM GMT
    haha i think ill be keeping a lot to myself these days. its winter break and i will wrap up the year good. ill just make sure i start off next year with a goal.

    yeah so i doubt ill go "guy hunting" for a while. i mean the guys around here are 99% sex, 1% everything else. it should not be as easy as it is to get that hook-up lol.
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    Dec 18, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    dustin_K_tx said
    vetteset said
    dustin_K_tx saidYeah, you're 20 and you've already learned the danger of falling for the experimenting straight boy...right on schedule...Next: the needy older guy?


    uh, scuse me??........................Keithicon_sad.gif


    Don't confuse "horny" for "needy"; totally different things.icon_smile.gif


    m'kay....i'll let it slide this time........................which one am I???icon_question.gif