is it easier to find a boyfriend when you get older?

  • Hunter9

    Posts: 1039

    Dec 18, 2010 5:22 AM GMT
    my gut tells me that the answer is 'yes'... that young people, especially gay young people, are still exploring and experimenting and moving around and just generally disinterested in stability.

    as we get older, we have a greater understanding of what we're looking for and what makes us happy, and that partnership is a desire for many, rather than (seemingly) the minority of the young

    however, people are still people, and meeting quality guys is always going to be a challenge, regardless of age.

    can anyone provide any insight and/or experiences related to finding relationships as one ages?
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:28 AM GMT
    I think it just depends on the guys, some wait for Mr. Right to come and well never actually put themselves out there to find him, others look for guys in all the wrong places. And then well at times it just is all about wrong timing I know a few people on here who are moving and they met really great guys apparently and well it doesn't really matter the age I think. But as you get older it gets harder for some guys more than others cause of the above factors or ageism that's talked about.
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:32 AM GMT
    I find that I'm more realistic about my expectations than I was at like 22-23.
    I'm generally very up front now about being interested/uninterested in a guy from the beginning.
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:49 AM GMT
    I'll take a step back cause I'm probably not the best person to answer this so I'll...
    "Just smile and wave boys. Smile and wave." ~ skipper the penguin
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:51 AM GMT
    we may or may not become wiser as we age. there is no set guidelines for wisdom or stupidity and it is def not age specific. We all, to a certain extent, leave our hearts to fate and hope that we are fortunate enough to meet a few, or perhaps just one guy who is a fit.....remember, death is the only certain thing in this orbit....................Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 18, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    Hunter9 said as we get older, we have a greater understanding of what we're looking for and what makes us happy, and that partnership is a desire for many, rather than (seemingly) the minority of the young

    Absolutely true.
    In your 20s you're not sure what you want or where you want to go. You're still meeting different personality types and you haven't learned from experience which ones are compatible with yours. You're too much at the mercy of your hormones. And even if you're not, your age-appropriate dating pool is.
    All of these things change for the better as you get older.
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    Finding the right person to grow with and experience life with is trial and error. Relax, enjoy life and the people you come into contact with, provide for yourself and just be yourself. Be true to yourself and your feelings and your beliefs. Life is short and you need to enjoy ever day as if it will be your last. Surround yourself with family and friends. The right person or persons will arrive and you need to recognize who they are. Being married is not the only answer, be happy and enjoy yourself and those around you,
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    Dec 23, 2010 9:43 PM GMT
    What do you consider older? Most guys never grow up.
    I think it's 50/50 for any age range.
    The young guys are growing up too quickly.
    And the older guys still immature.

    That's the nicest way I can say it.
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  • 1974Warrior

    Posts: 90

    Dec 23, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    nope lol
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    Dec 23, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
    you're 29... you are officially "older" lol. Check your price of admission, then decide if its realistic or not.
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    Dec 23, 2010 10:03 PM GMT
    I would say it's easier now given the time that we live in but as far as age is concerned it really depends on you as an individual and not your age.
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    Dec 24, 2010 4:53 AM GMT
    Hunter9 saidmy gut tells me that the answer is 'yes'... that young people, especially gay young people, are still exploring and experimenting and moving around and just generally disinterested in stability.

    as we get older, we have a greater understanding of what we're looking for and what makes us happy, and that partnership is a desire for many, rather than (seemingly) the minority of the young

    however, people are still people, and meeting quality guys is always going to be a challenge, regardless of age.

    can anyone provide any insight and/or experiences related to finding relationships as one ages?


    I can say that as I've aged, I've become more confident and more independent. So as a result, I think it is easier for me to find a boyfriend because of the confidence. Although I think it takes some hit and miss (regardless of age) to find a boyfriend where you both fit well with each other. Timing is also another issue. So in short, I agree with your statements.
  • MuscleComeBac...

    Posts: 2376

    Dec 24, 2010 4:54 AM GMT
    No.

    No, it's not.
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    Dec 24, 2010 4:59 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say it gets easier or harder. It's just that a lot of things that you used to think were important change. And the bar that you used to have starts to change. The types of guys that you're interested "may" change...

    For me it's gotten a bit harder but only because i allow it to be harder. I'm not one to lower my own standards (everyones are different) And while i'm not judging.. I know from experience that open relationships, 3-ways, dependancy, drug users and alcoholics are things that do not work for me. They may work for others, yet not for me.

    That being said, again.. I don't really thing it's harder or easier. I just think things change and it's different from when you're 18 to when you're 25 to when you're 33. For that matter each year maybe something different.

    Ever since i was 30 big muscle bears (the off season pro body lifter) the big muscleman with a little bit of a gut to cover his abs is the hottest thing for me ever.

    When i was younger i used to really like lean and fit men.

    So things for me have changed a lot. It maybe so with you too, i don't know icon_smile.gif It's a tough question to answer though.
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    Dec 24, 2010 5:31 AM GMT
    It is soooooo much easier to find a boyfriend as you get older because it has a lot to do with maturity, but maturity can happen at any age! but seriously 9 times out of 10 maturity is best acquired as you get older; so yes there is some truth to the notion that as you get older it can be much easier to find a boyfriend, for a much more serious and committed relationship, simply because at that stage in life you "should" know what you want or not!!.


    Leandro ♥
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Dec 24, 2010 5:34 AM GMT
    HELL NO!
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    Dec 24, 2010 6:29 AM GMT
    I wouldn't say it is harder to find a boyfriend per se; however, I would not agree that it is easier to find the right partner. I am in no way seeking a mariage de convenance, and as I've gotten older I've become more selective. I think we get to know ourselves better each year, and as such the criteria for a complimentary mate becomes stricter (or at least for those of us who are a bit more discerning).
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    Dec 24, 2010 6:33 AM GMT
    insatiablelover206 saidWhat do you consider older? Most guys never grow up.
    I think it's 50/50 for any age range.
    The young guys are growing up too quickly.
    And the older guys still immature.

    That's the nicest way I can say it.
    icon_rolleyes.gif


    that is probably the best way ive heard people described. and its so true icon_wink.gif
  • Citrushills

    Posts: 56

    Dec 24, 2010 6:48 AM GMT
    I don't think it's any easier. More guys seem attractive and less seem to be available. It's VERY frustrating.
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    Dec 24, 2010 6:54 AM GMT
    Easier to find a BF when you are old??? NO! lol Not a decent, honest, trustworthy BF. They are rare at any age. You do learn what you are looking for/want as you get older and develop more social skills and a clue about what does and doesn't matter.

    Truth be told I tossed aside several opportunities for a real decent man for a life partner when I was in my 20's. Foolish youthful optimum-ism that I could one up and continue to do "better" was sooooo arrogant and wrong.

    I "aint no beauty" and all the time I have done field work out in the sun and wind, fishing/hunting/farm work and all the cigs and cigars and alcohol I have consumed registered directly on my face (take a lesson). That being said most dudes my age/peer group I am not attracted to icon_sad.gif Sucks. They mostly look worse than I do and they're all city boys who stayed inside. Sadly I am way too visual. Glad I have hobbies and Labs to hunt trial. Good luck you all.
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    Dec 24, 2010 7:31 AM GMT
    dating_pools.png

    'nuff said!
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    Dec 24, 2010 7:48 AM GMT
    I don't think so.
    In my experience the following things happen as people get older in general:
    * get more cynical (even bitter)
    * get more picky (and more often than not, less attractive)
    * get more baggage
    * more set in their ways
    * less available (either find someone or busier with life in general)
    * less flexible
    * less spontaneous

    There are exceptions to the above but we're talking in general.
    That can be offset by knowing what you want, being upfront etc... BUT that's not going to GET you a boyfriend any quicker, maybe just a better match if/when you eventually meet a guy that meets all your criteria.

    Since most people generally find a partner and settle down somewhere between 20-30, the odds of finding a good match decrease drastically as you pass that age.

    Of course with the internet, it's still possible to find the right guy if you're willing to travel.
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    Dec 24, 2010 11:35 AM GMT
    Oh gosh I really do hope so.

    I've kind of noticed that guys in their early 20's aren't really interested in a committed monogamous relationship and prefer hookups and other things.

    That puts me in a odd predicament because I am not one of those. I hope that there are older guys who are open to relationships with younger guys because it's usually men who are in the late 20's to 30's who are actually wanting more than just hook ups.

    At first I thought I'd only be open to guys my age, but since this revelation I have been kind of looking for older guys simply because they generally want more than hookups.

    No luck so far... or am I misinformed?
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    Dec 24, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    All of my dating this year has been with guys your age and I didn't hit on any of them. I guess they are looking for some stability in a relationship and could not find it in their age group. It's notthe behavior i would have expected from a hot young guy.
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    Dec 24, 2010 1:03 PM GMT
    God no, its harder!