Could you date someone more athletic/competitive than you?

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    Dec 18, 2010 2:44 PM GMT
    Admittedly, I'm a very competitive person...especially with sports. As much as I love to win, I'm ok with losing...but only every once in a while. Would you be able to date someone who's more athletic/competitive than yourself?
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    Dec 18, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    Actually, yeah, that would be OK with me. . . because instantly I'd want to get to his level. Good for me, good for him.

    I had a friend (straight) who was extremely competitive and athletic. I especially liked that quality in our friendship. We would compete at all sorts of things. Sometimes he'd win, sometimes I'd win. Either way it was good.

    One caveat to the above: Don't let the competitive nature of the friendship degenerate to jealousy or envy. . . that's a different deal. Envy can wreck a relationship.

    Also, you need to ask yourself: Do I have to win ALL the time? There's nothing wrong with a competitive nature and wanting to be number one. But if there's a pathological need, if you feel wildly insecure after losing, if you're angry with the person who won. . . again, that's a different deal, and some soul searching is in order.
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    Dec 18, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    go_vols saidAdmittedly, I'm a very competitive person...especially with sports. As much as I love to win, I'm ok with losing...but only every once in a while. Would you be able to date someone who's more athletic/competitive than yourself?


    I'm not sure I could do it
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    Dec 18, 2010 4:05 PM GMT
    You cant truly love someone when its ll about winning or losing.
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    Dec 18, 2010 4:20 PM GMT
    Yes, I accept the challenge ;)
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:32 PM GMT
    I don't have any problems with that .....icon_smile.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    Dec 18, 2010 5:33 PM GMT
    heck, who isn't?

    icon_lol.gif
  • tazzari

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    Dec 18, 2010 5:38 PM GMT
    Dating isn't a competitive sport.
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    Dec 18, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    yup.........................................................keithicon_cool.gif
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    Dec 18, 2010 6:53 PM GMT
    of course, why wouldn't you? Only makes you better when you're with someone who has abilities or skills that exceed your own, makes you strive to be better.
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    Dec 18, 2010 6:56 PM GMT
    I have yet to meet anyone who meets that requirement. icon_cool.gif
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    Dec 18, 2010 6:56 PM GMT
    LittleDudeWithMuscles saidActually, yeah, that would be OK with me. . . because instantly I'd want to get to his level. Good for me, good for him.

    I had a friend (straight) who was extremely competitive and athletic. I especially liked that quality in our friendship. We would compete at all sorts of things. Sometimes he'd win, sometimes I'd win. Either way it was good.

    One caveat to the above: Don't let the competitive nature of the friendship degenerate to jealousy or envy. . . that's a different deal. Envy can wreck a relationship.

    Also, you need to ask yourself: Do I have to win ALL the time? There's nothing wrong with a competitive nature and wanting to be number one. But if there's a pathological need, if you feel wildly insecure after losing, if you're angry with the person who won. . . again, that's a different deal, and some soul searching is in order.


    this.
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    Dec 18, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    Allathlete saidI have yet to meet anyone who meets that requirement. icon_cool.gif


    with age comes wisdom young one, they're all around you icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 18, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    Yes I could and I would want TKDcadet!
  • owen19832006

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    Dec 18, 2010 6:58 PM GMT
    i would be ok with someone more competitive or successful or physically attractive
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    Dec 18, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    go_vols said Would you be able to date someone who's more athletic/competitive than yourself?


    It depends on who he's competing against. If the guy doesn't rest until he's satisfied being better than everyone around him then there might be a problem.

    If someone is constantly striving to improve themselves then that's great. There's usually room for individual improvement in an activity, and for me that's a healthy way to compete. Obsessing over what everyone else is doing seems inefficient. If you're improvements push you ahead of the next person then great! But the competition is really against yourself.

    So yes, if the guy is super competitive but is sane about it then why wouldn't you want to be with someone who is achievement oriented? It would be a fun pairing.
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    Dec 18, 2010 7:02 PM GMT
    for me its reverse, I cant date someone who isn't competitive or athletic at all. 1. I cant relate 2. I find its important to take care of yourself and have a drive of some sort.
  • bmw0

    Posts: 588

    Dec 18, 2010 7:15 PM GMT
    Absolutely, when someone is better at something than you are of good at something you have no interest in it gives you a chance to be there to support them. icon_biggrin.gif

    With that said if they are overly competitive to the point of being shitty with you when they don't win, that is a big turn off.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Dec 18, 2010 7:29 PM GMT
    I dated a really great guy for about a year and a half who was also a triathlete. The problem is that he was also SUPER competitive and I don't think he enjoyed the fact that I was a much more accomplished triathlete than he was, so every training run or ride together resulted in him pushing the pace much more than was necessary, so we simply realized that training together was counterproductive. Though we broke up (we're still really great friends), it wasn't because of the competitiveness, though I think that it can definitely ruin a great relationship.

    For me, I want to be with someone else who values being fit and active, but it doesn't have to be the same things I like. In fact, I prefer that it's things different from what I do. It just means a lot to have a healthy pasttime that is just for you. All that time training together isn't always the best thing for the well-being of the relationship.
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    Dec 18, 2010 7:31 PM GMT
    That would be great! I'm not competitive with athletics, but he would inspire me.
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    Dec 18, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
    No problem with me at all.. why would it be?
  • tuffguyndc

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    Dec 18, 2010 7:36 PM GMT
    go_vols saidAdmittedly, I'm a very competitive person...especially with sports. As much as I love to win, I'm ok with losing...but only every once in a while. Would you be able to date someone who's more athletic/competitive than yourself?
    hell yes, i do think it would get old at some point but having someone that is athletic for me would mean i would have a partner in crime sort to speak
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    Dec 18, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    To be perfectly honest, it would be very strange. I rarely date guys who compete in the same areas as myself because I like the yin and yang aspect of dating/finding someone who can compliment you in different areas.

    I like to push myself as hard as possible when I train and compete, so it would take a bit of time to adjust to dating someone who was better than me at athletic endeavors. Then again, we all need our egos stroked or reigned on occasion ... If anything, it would make me push even harder to be on an even keel with my partner. Having said that, I would imagine that the partner who constantly lost would build up some type of frustration or even resentment towards their fellow cohort.
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    Dec 19, 2010 9:45 AM GMT
    Yes, it motivates me.
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    Dec 19, 2010 9:58 AM GMT
    I was utter mostly competitive as a pole vaulter, and for doing business.
    And absolutely not competitive at all in my social life, to the point of not liking board games.

    I enjoyed the balance, canalizing my violence and aggressive side in a controlled and regulated world where it made a difference, and enjoying peaceful human interaction anywhere else.